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BRITS DOOMED

Pro-Taliban, anti-British propaganda from Robert Fisk:

Hands up any soldiers who know that another of Britain’s great military defeats took place in the very sands in which your colleagues are now fighting the Taliban. Yes, the Battle of Maiwand - on 27 July, 1880 - destroyed an entire British brigade, overrun by thousands of armed Afghan tribesmen, some of whom the official enquiry into the disaster would later describe as “Talibs”. The Brits had been trying to secure Helmand province. Sound familiar?

Yes, it does sound familar, what with Fisk’s direct appeal to soldiers and their colleagues. It sounds like Axis Sally or Lord Haw-Haw.

The Afghans talk of one British unit which last year had to call in air strikes, destroying almost the entire village in which they were holding out. Otherwise, they would have been overrun.

Another damp sheets moment for Bobby, who seems to be in conversational contact with those who would kill Fisk’s countrymen. Interesting.

One of the greatest defeats of British forces anywhere in the world had occurred more than four decades before Maiwand, on the Kabul Gorge in 1842, when an entire British army was wiped out by Afghan fighters in the snow.

Fisk isn’t exactly the model of a motivational speaker, is he? Unless you’re some Taliban goat-pimp training an AK-47 on advancing Brits, of course.

So now the British are to reinforce Afghanistan yet again. Flying by Chinook to Kandahar will not take as long as General Roberts’s 20 days. British soldiers are unlikely even to enter Kandahar’s central square. But if they do, they might care to look at the few ancient cannon on the main roundabout: all that is left of General Roberts’s artillery.

Fisk’s next column: “While you’re away fighting the Taliban, your wives back home are sleeping with Americans!

Posted by Tim B. on 02/25/2007 at 12:38 PM
  1. “Tommy, just tie a handkerchief to your rifle and walk slowly to Taliban lines. You will be treated well and get hot chow. Why you fight and die just so rich Jew can have sex with your best girl?”

    Posted by Dave S. on 2007 02 25 at 12:49 PM • permalink

  2. Of course, Fisk’s spew completely ignores the fact that the primary reason British troops are heading into Afghanistan is that the other NATO allies won’t fight at all.  Had those soldiers done their job, British troops wouldn’t be needed.

    This makes me wonder if Fisk is asking the local Al Quaeda recruiter if there’s an age limit for terrorists.

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 02 25 at 12:53 PM • permalink

  3. “Tommies!  Your children are being raped by Jews!  David Brent is sleeping with your wife!”

    Posted by Damian P. on 2007 02 25 at 12:59 PM • permalink

  4. I think we can rule out the claim right now that Fisk is sleeping with anybody’s wife.

    Posted by Steve Skubinna on 2007 02 25 at 01:14 PM • permalink

  5. OMG, the invincible Afghan warrior.

    Wonder why military expert Fiskie doesn’t regale his audience with the tale of the Battle of Kandahar?

    Posted by Crispytoast on 2007 02 25 at 01:16 PM • permalink

  6. Yes, yes. And at the start of last fall all the MSM here (and abroad) were crowing about how the “resurgent Taliban” was going to kick the shit out of Coalition forces and our Afghan allies. Well, we all know how that turned out, don’t we? With a casualty “exchange rate” of about 1 NATO soldier, and 12 Afghans dead to 100-150 dead or captured Taliban and al Qaeda. But this time, I’m sure that the newly-resurgent Taliban’s spring offensive is really going to win this time. Run, guys, run!

    BTW, more on Maiwand here:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Maiwand
    And be sure to click on the Battle of Kandahar link that tells the rest of the story that Fiskie dowdifies for some strange reason.

    And re. the 1842 defeat, the British “army” (he typed sarcastically, using scare quotes) was a single, 4,500-strong brigade of one white battalion of the 44th Foot and several East India Company battalions of (mainly) Indians with a single regiment of cavalry and a horse artillery battery. (I think that the French and Germans have more troops in Afghanistan today than that to give you an idea.)

    Posted by andycanuck on 2007 02 25 at 02:00 PM • permalink

  7. Sorry, crispy, I missed your link as I was typing and researching mine.

    Posted by andycanuck on 2007 02 25 at 02:01 PM • permalink

  8. #6 AC
    More to the point, the British “army” was a single, 4,500-strong brigade including 690 Europeans, and 12,000 wives, children and civilian servants against an indeterminate number of Ghilzai tribesmen, possibly as many as 30,000.

    Posted by ElectronPower on 2007 02 25 at 02:21 PM • permalink

  9. Fiskie is really into this breathless Taliban propaganda gig, isn’t he? His turgid prose makes one wonder if he was typing with one hand . . .

    Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 02 25 at 02:21 PM • permalink

  10. “Herro, GI Joe. Do you wonder who is sreeping with your wife whire you are here fighting and dying for a coroniahl empire on its rast regs? Lemembah, a chain is onry as stlong as its weakest rink!”

    Posted by CraigC on 2007 02 25 at 02:24 PM • permalink

  11. Five bucks to whoever can name the movie and the actors that are referred to in the last sentence. No Googling!

    Posted by CraigC on 2007 02 25 at 02:26 PM • permalink

  12. Evidently, Fisk forgot this tune.

    There’ll Always Be An England

    I give you a toast, ladies and gentlemen.
    I give you a toast, ladies and gentlemen.
    May this fair dear land we love so well
    In dignity and freedom dwell.
    Though worlds may change and go awry
    While there is still one voice to cry - - -
    There’ll always be an England
    While there’s a country lane,
    Wherever there’s a cottage small
    Beside a field of grain.
    There’ll always be an England
    While there’s a busy street,
    Wherever there’s a turning wheel,
    A million marching feet.
    Red, white and blue; what does it mean to you?
    Surely you’re proud, shout it aloud,
    “Britons, awake!”
    The Empire too, we can depend on you.
    Freedom remains. These are the chains
    Nothing can break.
    There’ll always be an England,
    And England shall be free
    If England means as much to you
    As England means to me.

    Since Fisk has gone to the other side, he had best start humming, that tune.

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 02 25 at 02:31 PM • permalink

  13. I couldn’t live with myself if I was that much of a spineless whore.

    Until it is reported that Bobby gets his ass kicked daily by random people on the street, there is no way we can claim a just society.

    Posted by Teaparty on 2007 02 25 at 03:17 PM • permalink

  14. Hm.

    If they’re talking about something we won, they bellow about how THINGS CHANGE.

    If they’re talking about something we lost, they bellow about how HISTORY ALWAYS REPEATS.


    Don’t forget, the Brutal Afghan Winter of 2001-2002 was confidently predicted to annihilate US forces and kill a few million Afghans. When will Fisk announce the inevitable repeat of that military disaster? Disaster for his side, I mean.

    Posted by Don't Bogart that Midget, Comrade! on 2007 02 25 at 03:19 PM • permalink

  15. The Taliban remnants will need to invite Algore if they ever want that Brutal Afghan Winter to materialize.

    Posted by PW on 2007 02 25 at 04:03 PM • permalink

  16. An American political cartoonist notices the same Fiskie behavior from US Congressional Democrats:

    For The Boys

    Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 02 25 at 04:10 PM • permalink

  17. I invite any jihadi in his vicinity to earn his 72 by ridding the world of this kaffir.

    Posted by saltydog on 2007 02 25 at 04:11 PM • permalink

  18. *cartoonist Sam Ryskind*

    I knew something was missing as soon as I hit “Submit”.

    Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 02 25 at 04:12 PM • permalink

  19. re #11, CraigC, I’m not sure, but isn’t that a new WWII movie coming out, starring George Clooney and Susan Sarandon, and directed by Michael Moore, and takes place in 1945, during the Battle of Okinawa, with Clooney as a luckless private, pining for his sweetheart, left behind to tend the family farm and care for 16 children, a great uncle, Clooney’s mom, the livestock, and a three legged dog?

    That line comes up when Clooney has been captured by the Japanese, and is contemplating becoming a propaganda tool for the Japanese Empire, just after being seduced by Tokyo Rose (the two bottles of saki helped as well).

    The working title: “A Scholarly Comparison of Iraq and Previous American Imperialistic Wars Of Aggression And Conquest”.

    The title alone guarantees an Oscar in 2007.

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 02 25 at 04:17 PM • permalink

  20. I do believe you mean “Previous American Conquest Operations”.

    Posted by PW on 2007 02 25 at 04:25 PM • permalink

  21. Fisk is obviously on the other side.Unfortunately he doesn’t have the stones to pick up a rifle and join his comrades.

    Posted by greene on 2007 02 25 at 04:43 PM • permalink

  22. Nor does he seem to recall the fate of Lord Haw-Haw.

    Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 02 25 at 04:55 PM • permalink

  23. Half a truth, half a truth,
    Half a truth onward,
    There in the valley of Death
    Strode the Fisk blunderer.
    ‘Forward, the Lightweight Brigade!
    Type for Talibs’ he said:
    Into the valley of Death
    Strode the Fisk blunderer.

    Posted by blogstrop on 2007 02 25 at 04:55 PM • permalink

  24. “If you’re wounded and left on Afghanistans plains
    And the women come out to cut up your remains
    First shoot Robert Fisk, and then blow out your brains
    And go to your God like a soldier”.

    Posted by Carl H on 2007 02 25 at 05:00 PM • permalink

  25. 22 Lord Haw Haw, My Grandparents and they’re contemporaries were so unsophisticated.Imagine those quaint ideas they held dear.You know, duty ,honor,loyalty.Fisk and his minions must get quite a giggle out of such archaic concepts. Thank goodness the great militaries of the Anglosphere still hold them near and dear.

    Posted by greene on 2007 02 25 at 05:17 PM • permalink

  26. What’s wrong with sleeping with an American anyway?

    I’ve never tried it myself, but surely it couldn’t be as bad as sleeping with a fiskie.

    Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2007 02 25 at 05:56 PM • permalink

  27. Looks like we’re financially doomed too.

    According to some think tank in Philadelphia, the International Coalition for British Reparations, i owe each commenter $8,000.

    Please send bank details via TB.

    Posted by pommygranate on 2007 02 25 at 06:04 PM • permalink

  28. It shows how bad global warming is, back in 2003 we trembled in fear at the Brutal Afghan Winter (trademark) now we await the ‘Taliban Spring Offensive’ with trepidation!

    Posted by Ross on 2007 02 25 at 06:11 PM • permalink

  29. Fisk is conveniently ignoring the fact that the Talib military capability has changed very little since the 1800’s. They are able to buy some cars, assault rifles, explosives and RPG’s. But thats it. 

    They still organise, train, plan, think, act, posture and “fight” the same way they did back then.

    Knowing history is easy. However, drawing the right lesson from it require crititcal analysis. Poor self loathing Bobby.

    Posted by Penguin on 2007 02 25 at 06:48 PM • permalink

  30. Poor old Bob.  Five and a half years on he’s still banging the same old “Afghanistan ALWAYS beats its invaders” drum.

    He SOOO wants the Anglosphere to lose.  It will be a replay of his own masochistically savored beating by handbag-wielding Afghans.

    But Bob—times have changed. The Anglo-NATO forces in Afghanistan are no longer “invaders”- they’re there to support an actual elected government, recognized by the U.N., yet. So get over it.

    Posted by arrowhead ripper on 2007 02 25 at 06:54 PM • permalink

  31. There’s a “great” POEM
    on the Battle of Maiwand, written my William McGonagall, the worst poet in history, as used by none other than Spike Milligna (the well known typing error).

    Posted by wanglese on 2007 02 25 at 07:26 PM • permalink

  32. No doubt Fisky will soon remember a dinner he had with the British Army generals who were in that war (was it 1880, or last summer?), probably on his balcony with the gentle globally warmed Mediterranean lapping against it.  Won’t he have some tales to tell then?

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 02 25 at 07:28 PM • permalink

  33. The brits did NOT lose a Brigade at Maiwand. They had about 1,000 casualties. The Afghhnas lost about 6,000 and were not able to field another affective force in the second Afhgan War. They were decisively defeated at Kabul shortly after.

    Posted by McAnzac on 2007 02 25 at 07:50 PM • permalink

  34. Sorry, for “Kabul” I meant “Kandahar.”

    Posted by McAnzac on 2007 02 25 at 07:51 PM • permalink

  35. Fisky could easily make a broadcast like the one heard in “12 O’clock High”:

    “and now for the men of the 918th Bomb Group:  How many B-17’s did you lose today?  Did your friends the British talk you into daylight bombing missions?”

    Posted by Vanguard of the Commentariat on 2007 02 25 at 07:54 PM • permalink

  36. That quisling son-of-a-bitch is walking proof that our boys, with superhuman restraint, don’t intentionally target “journalists.” What a shameless traitor.

    Posted by DrZin on 2007 02 25 at 08:00 PM • permalink

  37. A counter-point to Fisk’s pathetic defeatism and treason…

    CSM James Pippin

    Posted by Dave Surls on 2007 02 25 at 08:15 PM • permalink

  38. One of these days Mr. Fisk is going to giggle   one too many times when a Tommy who lost a mate is within earshot.

    I vote to acquit.

    Posted by trainer on 2007 02 25 at 08:15 PM • permalink

  39. I was passing by my local bookshop today and looked in the window.  It was filled with books by the usual suspects about US bad/disaster in Iraq/John Howard bad etc and several things struck me.  The first is that there is a core of writers who write even when they have nothing to say as there is obviously a market out there. The second is that the market dictates that whatever are the facts, there must be a negative spin put on it. 

    The result is that after these writers have been arguing for over 2 years that troops be brought home from Iraq, Tony Blair says “job well done we can bring home 1500 troops” they don’t know where to go.  Fisk is in a similar dilemna.  To know what Fisk knows about Afghanistan is to know nothing but in his world, nothing is required. Just publish and take the money.

    Posted by allan on 2007 02 25 at 08:35 PM • permalink

  40. What’s wrong with sleeping with an American anyway?

    I’ve never tried it myself, but surely it couldn’t be as bad as sleeping with a fiskie.

    Well, if ya ever want to find out…

    (Kidding. Married. Hi, honey!)

    Posted by Dave S. on 2007 02 25 at 08:49 PM • permalink

  41. re .38 by trainer “I vote to acquit.”

    Hell no, I’d be pushing for a knighthood in the new years honours list.

    Posted by Harry Buttle on 2007 02 25 at 08:49 PM • permalink

  42. Fisk has stepped over the mark from being an opponent of military action in Afghanistan to actively working for the enemy. He has now made it clear that he supports the Taliban and all it stands for - public execution and torture, enslavement of women and a most extreme form of Islamic fundamentalism. No going back from this position for Fisk. He now should explain to his readers why women should be covered and why females do not deserve an education or medical care. He needs to explain why publicly executing a person is a just punishment for having a TV. He needs to explain why his own clean-shaven face is so deserving of a beating. Meanwhile, those who publish and broadcast his propaganda need to explain why they are willing to air the views of man who is so opposed to basic freedom. It is no different to giving an old-style lynch ‘em and burn ‘em KKK grand wizard a public platform to spit his hate.

    Posted by Contrail on 2007 02 25 at 09:13 PM • permalink

  43. “While you’re away fighting the Taliban, your wives back home are sleeping with Americans!

    Liar! Don’t listen to him. I have it on good authority that they’re sleeping with Aussies!
    Americans are fussy about things like snaggleteeth and bathing.  And we hate warm beer.

    Posted by Bruce Rheinstein on 2007 02 25 at 09:33 PM • permalink

  44. Robert Fisk claims to be from Maidenhead. I’ve always associated him with part of Scunthorpe.

    Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 02 25 at 09:52 PM • permalink

  45. Fiskie is launcing a new single to state his position musically- “Hey Mister Taliban, I’ll suck on your Banana”.

    It’s expected to be a big seller locally in Newtown, Paddington, Fitzroy, Brunswick, West End and Nimbin.

    Posted by Habib on 2007 02 25 at 10:24 PM • permalink

  46. I remember Fisky gushing over osama’s “fierce warriors, forged in the furnace of the desert”, and that feeble westerners would be no match for these magnificent stallions.

    While we’re on Fisk, has he explained his conversations with non-existent Aus army generals yet?

    Posted by Tex on 2007 02 25 at 10:50 PM • permalink

  47. Unfortunately for Fisky and his divisions dromedary diddling Dervishes, they tend to get forged in the furnaceof the AGM114 these days.

    Posted by Habib on 2007 02 25 at 11:04 PM • permalink

  48. Unfortunately AGAIN for Fisk’s idiotic ideas about history, the British garrison in question had actually surrendered and was retreating under a guarantee of safety back to India.

    So, Fisk has unwittingly (but he goes through his entire life like that) provided a wonderful example of why we shouldn’t pull out of Afghanistan.  a) you can’t trust what islamists tell you; and b) accommodations with them only buy death.

    Posted by Mr Hackenbacker on 2007 02 25 at 11:32 PM • permalink

  49. Fisk, with his teary-eyed fond reminiscing of past bloody British defeats, brings defeatism to a new low:  Surrender Porn.  I wouldn’t be a bit surprised to find that the pages of his history of the Battle of Maiwand are stuck together.

    Posted by Tantor on 2007 02 26 at 12:41 AM • permalink

  50. Time for Fisk to show the courage of his convictions.

    Strap his ass to the grille of a Land Rover…

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 02 26 at 12:50 AM • permalink

  51. Ah, this would explain why Pashto is the dominant language in the developed world.

    Posted by Henry boy on 2007 02 26 at 01:29 AM • permalink

  52. Don’tcha just love the first two words of the excerpt there?  “Hands up.”  I tell ya, we’re underestimating how deeply surrender is ingrained in this moron’s psyche.

    Posted by Clubbeaux on 2007 02 26 at 03:47 AM • permalink

  53. 1842 and 1880. Accurate parallels to modern military operations by General Risk there.
    That was in the epoch prior to Belloc’s little ditty
    ‘Whatever happens, we have got
    The Maxim gun, and they have not.’

    Silly billy. One would be on fairly safe grounds contending that modern precision close air support is probably a bit better than the Maxim, and thus puts to bed any sniff of reality in Bob’s maxim.

    And now, in the spirit of earlier installments:

    Tommie! Why do you fight here when at home your wives and sweethearts having are the sex with Hollywood stars such as Bruce Schwarzellone, Liberace and Bart Simpson?!?

    Posted by Simon Darkshade on 2007 02 26 at 04:55 AM • permalink

  54. Yes, makin’ mock o’ uniforms that guard you while you sleep
      Is cheaper than them uniforms, an’ they’re starvation cheap;
      An’ hustlin’ drunken soldiers when they’re goin’ large a bit
      Is five times better business than paradin’ in full kit.

      Then it’s Tommy this, an’ Tommy that, an’ “Tommy how’s yer soul?”
      But it’s “Thin red line of ‘eroes” when the drums begin to roll,
      The drums begin to roll, my boys, the drums begin to roll,
      O it’s “Thin red line of ‘eroes” when the drums begin to roll.

    Posted by Jerry H on 2007 02 26 at 09:48 AM • permalink

  55. People, let’s all try to remember the good times!!!

    Posted by tsol on 2007 02 26 at 11:43 AM • permalink

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