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BORDER FOLLIES

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Welcome to the United States, nice person!

Posted by Tim B. on 06/09/2005 at 02:11 AM
  1. Kiddin me!! That cant be a real pic!!

    Posted by Lucky Nutsacks on 2005 06 09 at 03:31 AM • permalink

  2. Chris Sheils?

    Posted by Lucky Nutsacks on 2005 06 09 at 03:33 AM • permalink

  3. #2, Ha! No, I think its a webdiary correspondant. One thats been told that Howard has been re-elected, again.

    Posted by Nic on 2005 06 09 at 03:44 AM • permalink

  4. Deo - nope, it’s real. Or if it isn’t, it’s gotten into enough news outlets to become the next “Insurgents Capture G.I. Joe Doll” incident.

    My personal theory as to why they let him in - he hypnotized them with those crazy Runaway Bride eyes. Otherwise I’d be interested to know how he managed to claim to be in the US military without having to produce something like, you know, a military ID.

    Posted by Sonetka on 2005 06 09 at 03:45 AM • permalink

  5. I wasn’t aware mohawks were military regulation either.

    Posted by Aging Gamer on 2005 06 09 at 03:52 AM • permalink

  6. He looks Canadian to me.

    Posted by rhhardin on 2005 06 09 at 03:54 AM • permalink

  7. Better to let 10 guilty men go free than lock up 1 innocent.....

    Posted by rog2 on 2005 06 09 at 03:57 AM • permalink

  8. ok, here’s another pic of the perp. seems he has a buggered brother as well

    Posted by Lucky Nutsacks on 2005 06 09 at 04:00 AM • permalink

  9. A certain resemblance to Chris Reeves as Superman ...?

    Posted by Susan Norton on 2005 06 09 at 04:18 AM • permalink

  10. Not Canadian. Mexican!

    Posted by R_W_F on 2005 06 09 at 04:27 AM • permalink

  11. You sure hee from this planet

    Posted by raider580 on 2005 06 09 at 04:43 AM • permalink

  12. Dean0 at ‘stop the neocon death machine has more info on the ‘chris reeves chainsaw massacre’ story.

    Posted by Lucky Nutsacks on 2005 06 09 at 04:44 AM • permalink

  13. May I present - the 08 Democratic Party Candidate!

    Posted by Quentin George on 2005 06 09 at 05:25 AM • permalink

  14. Goodness ! this guy outdoes the characters out of ‘Deliverance’.
    guess the law in that movie would hsve cleaned up the chainsaw for him as a “welcome to the blue grass state” gesture.

    Posted by davo on 2005 06 09 at 05:50 AM • permalink

  15. Enough with the Kerry pics.

    Posted by C.L. on 2005 06 09 at 06:04 AM • permalink

  16. That looks like a cue fot the first weekly Tim Blair caption contest!

    I’ll go first: “Yo, where the trade centre at?”

    Posted by Amos on 2005 06 09 at 06:39 AM • permalink

  17. Ban chainsaws and creepy looking people!
    Think of The Children! TM

    Posted by Pedro the Ignorant on 2005 06 09 at 06:49 AM • permalink

  18. He looks Canadian to me.

    Allow me to qualify that; he actually looks French Canadian. Acts the part, too.

    Posted by Nash Kato on 2005 06 09 at 06:57 AM • permalink

  19. "Nobody asked us to detain him,” said Bill Anthony, a spokesman for U.S. Customs and Border Protection.

    Hi, we’re from the government, and we’re here to pick up our bimonthly paycheck while we do whatever the damn hell we please! Loser! Now fill out these forms! We take Visa and Mastercard.

    "Being bizarre is not a reason to keep somebody out of this country or lock them up. We’re governed by laws and regulations, and he did not violate any regulations,” Mr. Anthony told the Associated Press.

    Besides, everyone knows Canadians are harmless. We thought he’d been carving up some back bacon with that chainsaw or something. You know those Canucks and their back bacon.

    Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2005 06 09 at 07:05 AM • permalink

  20. I agree being bizarre is not a good reason to keep someone out, but being bizarre, covered in blood and armed to the teeth puts a whole new spin on it.

    Posted by Aging Gamer on 2005 06 09 at 07:37 AM • permalink

  21. "You know those Canucks and their back bacon.”

    Canadians are the result of humans interbreeding with back bacon.

    Posted by Arty on 2005 06 09 at 08:10 AM • permalink

  22. People, please. Bizarre is such a judgmental term. We might be tempted to discriminate against someone who is bizarre, and that would be wrong. No, he appears to be diverse, and we should celebrate diversity. Perhaps he has developed some unusual skills that he might want to share with us. Let us sit in a circle and ask him to join us.

    /moonbat mode off

    Posted by ErnieG on 2005 06 09 at 08:18 AM • permalink

  23. Hey Pigs are useful!  He’d come out better.

    Posted by Rob Read on 2005 06 09 at 08:19 AM • permalink

  24. Sheesh.  Having lived a good part of my life next to the Canadian border, I know that some loons do make it through.  But I have to wonder why they didn’t look a little closer.

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2005 06 09 at 08:54 AM • permalink

  25. What strikes me as strange, is people that freaky-lookin’ usually like country music

    Posted by Rachel Corrie's Flatmate on 2005 06 09 at 09:06 AM • permalink

  26. Well, thank god he wasn’t profiled…

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 06 09 at 09:39 AM • permalink

  27. Hmmm.

    If I saw that walking to me I’d start getting ready for a fight to the death.  WTF?  They took away his blood-covered chainsaw, brass knuckles and KNIFE and let him in?

    Fire the bastards.  Fire them all.

    Posted by memomachine on 2005 06 09 at 10:48 AM • permalink

  28. Please, people.  The border guards can’t invent new laws, and the way the laws are constructed, this guy couldn’t legally be detained.  What we need is better info sharing so that Canadian parole violators are flagged at the Canadian border.  Firing the cops isn’t a fair response.

    If you think that border patrol agents should have carte blanche to arrest, detain, or repel anyone they want, consider how soon they’ll be completely corrupted by all that power.

    Posted by The Mighty Claw on 2005 06 09 at 11:33 AM • permalink

  29. Oh come on!  So the poor, helpless border guards couldn’t do anything like pick up a flippin’ telephone?  At the absolute minimum they could have frantically waved at the Canukleheads on the other side of the border and said, “say, missing any bug-eyed, chain-saw and blade carrying, blood-spattered folks?”
    Trying to absolve the guards from this is absurd.

    Posted by Major John on 2005 06 09 at 12:46 PM • permalink

  30. At worst it’d be a citizen’s arrest.

    Pop quiz, when you see a man and his implements of doom covered in blood walk up to you, do you:

    A) Buy him a drink
    B) Run like hell (or if in the position, detain him) and call the cops
    C) Offer him your daughter’s hand in marrige

    Posted by Aging Gamer on 2005 06 09 at 01:22 PM • permalink

  31. TMC: The border guards can’t invent new laws, and the way the laws are constructed, this guy couldn’t legally be detained.

    Sure he could.  There’s this little thing called ‘probable cause.’ Dale Franks over on Q and O covers it quite well.  Mr. Franks is a libertarian, btw, and no proponent of granting any more powers to agents of the state than absolutely necessary.

    Posted by Achillea on 2005 06 09 at 01:38 PM • permalink

  32. Holy Christ. He looks like the offspring of an unholy union between Henry Rollins and Frodo.

    Posted by Dave S. on 2005 06 09 at 01:48 PM • permalink

  33. Cripes, looks like the Invasion of the Canadian Body Snatchers to me.  Of course, to be fair, this guy would fit right in on any U.S. university campus, blood-spattered pants and all (although they might request that he leave the chainsaw in his car).

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2005 06 09 at 03:10 PM • permalink

  34. That chainsaw probably wouldn’t even pass as airline carry-on because it exceeds regulation length.

    Posted by Henry boy on 2005 06 09 at 05:45 PM • permalink

  35. It’s worse than that.  US chainsaws sold to consumers have the spurs removed from the chains to lessen the likelihood of kickback.  He could have been bringing one of those evil Canadian chainsaws and endangering his fellow citizens.

    Posted by Mitch on 2005 06 09 at 06:11 PM • permalink

  36. So if he is finally captured, tried and found guilty, what will the punishment be?

    Counselling, no doubt.

    Posted by dee on 2005 06 09 at 10:51 PM • permalink

  37. That chainsaw and the other accessories are a form of self-expression to this young man. The Americans have thus stripped him of his identity; his sense of self-worth if you like.

    Not without my chainsaw! went the plaintive cry.

    And who doesn’t have the odd blood stain on their McCulloch?

    Posted by Henry boy on 2005 06 09 at 11:32 PM • permalink

  38. OK, OK. Good laughs all around. He does look bizarre but I’ve got to go with the border guards here. They kept him at the border for two hours questioning him. He was not wanted by the Canucks because the crime had not been discovered yet. And they did contact the RCMP. Not to mention the fact that he is a U.S. citizen. They confiscated his toys and released him. I don’t see what else was expected of them.

    Posted by Just Some Poor Schmuck on 2005 06 11 at 12:43 AM • permalink

  39. JSPS: I don’t see what else was expected of them.

    A measly little blood reagent test wouldn’t be much to ask, under the circumstances. 

    They kept him at the border for two hours questioning him.

    They also fingerprinted him, which takes much less than two hours but still more than testing the blood.

    He was not wanted by the Canucks because the crime had not been discovered yet.

    Actually, he was a convicted criminal skipping out on Canadian bail and fleeing the country.  So, yes, he was wanted by the Canucks. 

    And they did contact the RCMP.

    Who, apparently infected by the incompetence virus running amok among the border guards, took until the next day to check on the welfare of the people Mr. Blood Spatter had just been convicted of threatening.

    Not to mention the fact that he is a U.S. citizen.

    Might as well not mention it, since it’s totally irrelevant.

    Posted by Achillea on 2005 06 11 at 02:39 AM • permalink

  40. Come on Achillea, this is the real world, not CSI. You’ve been watching too much TV.

    A blood reagent? What would that show? Presence of blood? Big whoop. It could be evidence in a crime but by itself it is not evidence of a crime.

    In any case, is this a test that you can perform at a border crossing station with minimal tools and no training? Did the guards have the necessary training to perform such tests? If not they would have been inadmissible as evidence.

    What charge would he have been arrested on? Felony possession of blood?

    Absent an arrest warrant out of a jurisdiction that was serviceable at the border crossing, the only way he could have been arrested was on probable cause. That means that the border agents had to have proof that a crime had been committed and that probable cause existed to believe that he had committed it. Presence of blood does not provide either of these.

    Any defense attorney would have shredded the case with ease and brought false arrest charges against the border agents.

    “Knowing” that he must have committed a crime is not the same thing as being able to prove it. I’m a police dispatcher and I remember many times that we have had to cut someone loose because we could not prove that he had done anything even though we “knew” he had done it.

    As far as the bail skipping goes, you can’t arrest someone for skipping bail until he has missed his court and a judge has issued a warrant for his arrest. The warrant has to be known to the guards and it has to be confirmed by the issuing agency. If the RCMP did not know that he was wanted and could not confirm that with the border station then it is irrelevant.

    Being a U.S. Citizen is relevant because if he were a foreign national they could have turned him back. But as a U.S. citizen entering his own country, they could not refuse him entry.

    Posted by Just Some Poor Schmuck on 2005 06 11 at 02:35 PM • permalink

  41. Presence of blood does not provide either of these.

    I submit there is no valid reason for the possession of a bloody chainsaw. I’d even go so far as to say that, barring obvious injury to yourself, a bloody chainsaw is evidence of a crime.

    Posted by Rob Crawford on 2005 06 13 at 11:00 AM • permalink

  42. It doesn’t matter what you think. The courts have ruled differently.

    I’d even go so far as to say that, barring obvious injury to yourself, a bloody chainsaw is evidence of a crime

    Oh, what’s the crime? You’re going to have to know that and have the statue when you fill out the paperwork.

    Welcome to real life.

    Posted by Just Some Poor Schmuck on 2005 06 13 at 04:43 PM • permalink

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