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BLONDE SEA-BEAST LAUNCHED
Presenting Lobster, by John Galliano.
UPDATE. In other freaky animal news, a Bay Area editorial reports:
The president claims to support the troops, but doesn’t seem to understand that means more than a visit to Iraq and a photo-op with a plastic turkey.
At least he never tried to serve them Zsa Zsa the Crustacean.
UPDATE II. Lobzilla!
A giant freshwater lobster measuring almost one metre in length has been found in north-west Tasmania.
(For readers unfamiliar with the metric system, one metre equals 2.18 cubits.)
Via J.F. Beck
UPDATE III. A personal lobster story: in 1990, wandering around Washington, I happened upon The National Aquarium. Within dwelt the magnificent Quayle Lobster. Seems this monster had been trapped by the then-VP, who was prevented from eating it by PETA types. For all I know the Quayle Lobster is still there, staring malevolently at passing humans and wishing he had mink claws.
Shear it, boil it in the crab cooker, bung some mayo and black pepper on it.
Serve with a VB and a slice of good healthy white bread slathered with butter.
Yum. Giant prawns, mmmm.
Posted by Pedro the Ignorant on 2006 03 08 at 09:07 AM • permalinkLate thought, you could knit a nice keffiyah from the hairy bits, ideal for formal occasions like PETA rallies etc.
Posted by Pedro the Ignorant on 2006 03 08 at 09:11 AM • permalinkA giant freshwater lobster measuring almost one metre in length has been found in north-west Tasmania.
Hmmmm. I sense Richard McEnroe’s machinations at work. I better let Lord Rove know about this.
Posted by wronwright on 2006 03 08 at 10:07 AM • permalinkIn these parts, freshwater lobsters are called crawdads. And them’s good eatin’.
Posted by Some0Seppo on 2006 03 08 at 10:14 AM • permalinkThe animal is white and 5.9 inches long, about the size of a salad plate.
Convenient, that.
Posted by Rob Crawford on 2006 03 08 at 10:17 AM • permalinkWell, I don’t care. I’m not following up my groundbreaking “Shibuya Gals Meet Giant Anteater King” with no “Priscilla, Queen of the Reef…”
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 03 08 at 11:28 AM • permalinkMy 2 year old son was staring at a lobster tank last week. We told him that his Omi (Grandmother) likes lobster. He thought we meant she was going to be EATEN by a lobster.
Now, whenever he hears the word lobster, he shouts “COOK IT COOK IT!” He eats his meat first at meals. He will never be a member of PETA. I am so proud!
Okay, what’s the difference between a metre and a meter? The former sounds suspiciously, er, French.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Posted by Steve Skubinna on 2006 03 08 at 12:22 PM • permalinkNational Aquarium:
Resembling a rec room one might find in a friend’s basement, this is a handy refuge from the summer heat, if not much of an aquarium. Established by the federal government in 1873 and spread out over a variety of locations, the now centralized aquarium went private in 1982. It’s the nation’s oldest aquarium, and it has been showing its age for some time now: You may be disappointed by the slim pickings and lackluster maintenance. Seventy tanks display fresh- and saltwater marine specimens. There are also slide presentations, a touch tank for children to handle live critters, a gift shop, and a cafeteria.
From the Access guide book DC edition, that pretty much nails our national aquarium. Pitiful.
Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2006 03 08 at 01:28 PM • permalinkBTW, we have “meters” here in the States; no “metres” though. I like meters, especially kilometers—there’s less distance to cover and you get there faster.
Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2006 03 08 at 01:39 PM • permalinkThe National Aquarium in Baltimore is excellent, however.
We were at a party
His ear lobe fell in the deep
Someone reached in and grabbed it
It was a rock lobsterWe were at the beach
Everybody had matching towels
Somebody went under a dock
And there they saw a rock
It wasn’t a rock
It was a rock lobsterCourtesy of the B-52’s. Still one of the world’s best dance bands.
Posted by joe bagadonuts on 2006 03 08 at 03:32 PM • permalinkBut the submerged Kennedy Oldsmobile in the large tank by the exit is pretty cool.
If only.
Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2006 03 08 at 03:47 PM • permalinkHoly sh*t, Tim! That blonde “lobster” looks like a hairy spider at first glance. Give a gal a warning, wontcha?
For readers unfamiliar with the metric system, one metre equals 2.18 cubits.
Geez, I wish I’d know that when I lived in Germany. It would have made my life so much easier. ;-p
Posted by Barbara Skolaut on 2006 03 08 at 08:50 PM • permalink#27—the folks ate PETA are vegetarians not because they love animals; I think it because they HATE vegetables!
Remember the Southpark episode when PETA gets rid of the Cow Mascot???
Stan says, “But if we get rid of our mascot, the terrorists will have won!”
Posted by MentalFloss on 2006 03 08 at 11:33 PM • permalink18 Steve Skubinna
Okay, what’s the difference between a metre and a meter? The former sounds suspiciously, er, French
In fact both words sound the same. Metre might look froggy to some. We have kept the French spelling because its meaning is different to meter.
In Oz, a metre is a unit of length equal to 2.18 cubits, as we have already been told by Tim.
A meter is a thingy for measuring things, as in Voltmeter, speedometer, altimeter and just plain meter.2.18 cubits? Are those Egyptian cubits of Phoenician cubits?
They spell it metre because that’s the way the Poms spell things with -re endings. The Poms and Ozzies never had somebody like Noah Webster to establish the logical spelling of English words, as we in the states did, so that here we use -er. That’s also why they put unnecessary -u’s in words like labor and harbor.
Posted by Michael Lonie on 2006 03 09 at 12:19 AM • permalinkThe best thing about stealing words from other languages is mispronunciating them. After that you then can spell them they way they’re pronounced (something many foreigners don’t even do). We Americans, for example, have a great many words we’ve taken from English.
We love watching their puzzled expressions as they try deciphering what we say. Until the mid twentieth century they didn’t even try, but now they’re afraid they’ll miss something important, like the next country Dubya wants them to invade.
Posted by Steve Skubinna on 2006 03 09 at 01:37 AM • permalink#36 Stevo.
I can go along with that reasoning.
As Allen said, we use a lot of French words with spelling unchanged (like metre). One of the advantages of this is seeing the frogs grind their teeth straight through their galloises at the way we pronounce “lar bell fransays”.
Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2006 03 09 at 07:37 AM • permalinkJoeBag 25
the B-52’s. Still one of the world’s best dance bands.
Well that’s not saying much, is it?
Posted by Stoop Davy Dave on 2006 03 09 at 04:24 PM • permalinkStoop Davy Dave,
Well, it may indeed be damning with faint praise. But your chances of scoring tang is a lot greater at one of their concerts that one of Keith Urban’s.
Once you got’em dancing you just gotta get them to lay down on the floor.
Posted by joe bagadonuts on 2006 03 09 at 04:29 PM • permalinkMeter vs Metre. As had been quoted before in these pages.
“Not only does the English Language borrow words from other languages, it sometimes chases them down dark alleys, hits them over the head, and goes through their pockets”
Posted by joe bagadonuts on 2006 03 09 at 04:43 PM • permalinkRe #40: Slightly OT, but this reminds me of something I read in an H Beam Piper story: “And you know what English is? It’s the result of the efforts of Norman men at arms to pick up Saxon barmaids, and no more legitimate than any of the other results”.
Mike Dubost
Posted by Mike Dubost on 2006 03 10 at 01:28 AM • permalinkJoeBag 39
your chances of scoring tang is a lot greater at one of their concerts that one of Keith Urban’s.
I’ll, um, take your word for it. What’s a Keith Urban? Never mind, I don’t really want to know.
Posted by Stoop Davy Dave on 2006 03 10 at 11:37 AM • permalink
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So? I’ve known a few crabby blondes in my time….