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BIN LADY
It’s been quite a journey for Jessica:
When the aptly named Jessica Root was 4 or 5 years old, her mother, Keli Solomon, took her to the Earth Day celebration in Central Park. In grade school, she dressed up for Halloween one year as a recycling bin.
That was only the beginning for Garbage Girl, who now works in TreeHugger.com’s elite video propaganda unit:
Root’s first project is a contest called Convenient Truths—a logical next step from Al Gore’s documentary “An Inconvenient Truth.’‘
What TreeHugger wants people to do is submit a one-minute to two-minute video showing how they’re reducing their own carbon footprint and thus slowing global warming ...
Root said the videos could be about something as small as carrying groceries in reusable cloth bags. They could also be about something as grand as an architect’s plans for a solar home.
“They could be about composting,’’ she said. “They could be about changing the filters in your air-conditioner.’‘
They could be about alternative fuels; nitro-methane, for example. I might submit this, which demonstrates a DIY method of carbon wheelprint reduction.
“Root said the videos could be about something as small as carrying groceries in reusable cloth bags.”
Yeah, that would be great, if only they can find people who use “cloth” bags.
For several years now, thanks to people exactly like Ms Root/s, every idiot in Australia uses those .99 cent green or brown reusable bags (a whole gaggle of them, since one would hold bugger all groceries), made from the very same non-biodegradable stuff that wheelie bins are made of - your know the stuff that never ever, ever, ever, ever breaks down.
Yep, thanks to people like Ms Root/s, 100% biodegradable bags made from corn flour were shelved in preference to “reusable” bags made from hard indestructive non-biodegradable crap. (Has anyone noticed how quickly the stitching comes undone in those “reusable” bags?).
Here’s a surefire way to eliminate methane gas.
Posted by David Crawford on 2006 12 31 at 04:41 AM • permalinkHmmm.
I’m currently in the midst of designing a 4-wheeled cart propelled by a series of cams and pistons driven by two people humping. Sort of a treadle-car, but with a small bed in the back sited atop of a very large treadle.
And yes I’m sure the thing would work with a couple people just jumping up and down on the treadle. But really. What’s the point of that?
Oh and pretty young buxom ladies looking for a test drive are extremely, if not exceptionally, welcome.
It may not reduce my carbon footprint. But at that point, who cares?!
Posted by memomachine on 2006 12 31 at 05:08 AM • permalinkGolden opportunity here folks! Send in your vids of your own unique contribution to the Earth’s carbon cycle. For example, show yourself zooming off at the go signal in your Ferrari, leaving a chugging 1967 VW Beetle behind in a cloud of clean emissions.
Posted by AlburyShifton on 2006 12 31 at 06:31 AM • permalinkJessica Root needs to do something to lower her carbon dioxide emissions. I’d recommend shutting her mouth.
Posted by Jim Treacher on 2006 12 31 at 08:35 AM • permalinkAll these smug little recyclers are nothing but junior versions of Marquand’s Aunt. Pointing out that they are akin to a starched New England spinster more than anything might take some of the allure out of carbon-footprinting for some of these hippy chicks and dicks. Or the fact that my grandmother (who was raised on a farm in Vermont) used to practice the following with regularity: use it up, wear it out, make it do, do without!
Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2006 12 31 at 08:44 AM • permalinkOT PS: if you actually read the whole article I linked to, which was written in 1999, you’ll come to an interesting little paragraph on boxcutters. It made a little chill run up my spine when I read it for the first time (in the Florence King compilation I bought) last year or so.
Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2006 12 31 at 08:50 AM • permalinkGood God, a whole video site full of moralists preening.
What would they say about a bunch of religious types who created a YouTube panoply of themselves, praying?
This whole thing is ripe for satire.
Posted by Rittenhouse on 2006 12 31 at 12:05 PM • permalinkWe have to recycle here. But, we also have a swap room where we put stuff we don’t want. That’s how I got the painting of the Indian woman I now have in my bedroom.
As far as the other stuff, since our complex is rife with people who don’t have English as even their third language, the town’s given up on that whole “cardboard” and “separation” thing. Everyone’s jsut glad if no abosolute slop is thrown anywhere…
wow, this sounds interesting.
I wonder what I could do to reduce my carbon footprint?
Maybe I could… no, that’d be silly.
Umm, how about… no, that makes no sense at all.
I could… well… no I cant.
I got it! I’m gonna go and cut down some trees and start some fires. Then, later I’ll stop doing that and Bingo! Less of that carbon stuff from then on!
Actually, Grimmy, you’ve got a winner right there! And you don’t even have to burn anything. The way I figure it, every day I don’t chop and burn all the trees on my property is another day of reduced carbon footprint. I gotta get a video cam and set it up to record me not burning trees. How do I collect on the carbon credits - post office box, or do I need to provide a bank account number?
If I live long enough, I could save the whole planet singlehandedly!
Posted by Steve Skubinna on 2006 12 31 at 03:08 PM • permalinkI gotta get a video cam and set it up to record me not burning trees.
An entire video of trees growing would be about the average Greenie’s pace.
How do I collect on the carbon credits - post office box, or do I need to provide a bank account number?
I hear there’s a widow of a Nigerian politician who’s willing to send a whole bunch of carbon credits your way, if you give her your bank details and $50000 to “cover expenses”.
Posted by AlburyShifton on 2006 12 31 at 03:29 PM • permalink“They could be about changing the filters in your air-conditioner.”
What? They approve air conditioners? Then I’m happy to report that, as of now, I have joined them and I’m never, ever going to turn off my air conditioner.
Posted by ElectronPower on 2006 12 31 at 04:30 PM • permalinkRebeccaH:
my toasty-warm buttocks
Mmmmmmmmmm
Posted by AlburyShifton on 2006 12 31 at 10:20 PM • permalink#3! Oh that’s rather old stuff, though I appreciated the video. Flaming intestinal methane (mostly) was all the rage in the USA, circa 1950+ miltary cutups. (though I can Only speak for the military muffins here).
Now, if we could only invent an automatic livestock fart igniter that worked well! Well, Gerbil Worming^TM^, would then be an ancient idiot hoax, wouldn’t it???Anyone tasteless enough to send them Saddams modest 3 minute tape of his reducing carbon impact??
How much longer before some enterprising serial killer claims hes entitled to a stack of carbon money for his efforts?Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2007 01 01 at 08:56 AM • permalink
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Not so aptly named in Australia by the sound of it…