<< TREES FEARED ~ MAIN ~ SENIOR CATCHES JUNIOR >>

BELOVED COMPANY CUT

Tragic news for composers of McHitlerburton-style Presidential titles:

The army has decided to end a controversial multibillion-dollar contract with Halliburton, the oil services company, to provide logistics support to US forces in Iraq.

Looks like we’ll have to get used to calling him “Chimpy McHitlermultiplecontractors”.

Posted by Tim B. on 07/13/2006 at 11:50 AM
  1. It just doesn’t flow.

    Posted by aaron_ on 2006 07 13 at 11:53 AM • permalink

  2. Watch for the moonbats to start proclaiming this as the administration distancing itself from Halliburton and tacit admission that the Halliburton contracts were improper. “Bowing to pressure” and all that, “even as” infrastructure issues remain in Iraq.

    Posted by bovious on 2006 07 13 at 11:54 AM • permalink

  3. Aw.  Now I have to go back to referring to him as President Bushsimian W. McPlasticturkey?

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 07 13 at 12:15 PM • permalink

  4. Actually, that was Georgesimian W. McPlasticturkey.  Bushsimian is the cousin.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 07 13 at 12:16 PM • permalink

  5. Oh no.  Why didn’t I see this coming?  Cheney and Rove will not be happy. 

    (remembers last time someone gave the Vice President bad news, that poor Texas lawyer reciting Halliburton’s quarterly earnings during a hunting session, wtih the VP holding a rifle for heavens sake, shudders visibly)

    Posted by wronwright on 2006 07 13 at 12:18 PM • permalink

  6. So if Halliburton give it away, what’s the whole Iraq thing about, then?  I mean. surely the whole exercise was about affording the big red the chance to put their employees arses on the line?  And co-ordinate complex and expensive projects to the major benefit of a sullen and hostile populace?  What’s the world     coming to?  Where else could they possibly find such a rich reserve of approbium?

    Posted by Olrence on 2006 07 13 at 12:24 PM • permalink

  7. HEY!

    I didn’t get the notice of SELL the STOCK, damnit.

    What the hell is the matter with you guys. Don’t you know there are people out here trying to hustle Make Money.

    Shit damn near, if not everyone, in our Houses of Congress is/are, why not me?

    Posted by El Cid on 2006 07 13 at 12:33 PM • permalink

  8. El Cid—

    Martha Stewart emailed everyone here! Aren’t you on her list?

    Posted by JDB on 2006 07 13 at 01:02 PM • permalink

  9. JDB

    Martha Stewart emailed everyone here! Aren’t you on her list?

    I wouldn’t take anything from that Leona Helmsley clone bitc…awwww shit, I thought it was spam.

    Posted by El Cid on 2006 07 13 at 01:19 PM • permalink

  10. Hey!  I love Martha!  By God, she will never not color-coordinate again!

    Posted by ushie on 2006 07 13 at 02:00 PM • permalink

  11. Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!  Hold on there Clyde. If Halliburton is gone, that means KBR is gone, that means the mess hall is gone. If we’re going back to 3 MREs a day somebody will be shot.  Or maybe they’ll contract the mess hall out to some Haji outfit and 3/4 of the Coalition will come down with amoebic dysentery and somebody will be shot.  Either way somebody is going to be shot. Geez if it didn’t suck here enough already.  Frickin bastard Democrats. I am beating the dog-shit out of the 1st lefty SOB I can get my hands on.  Lousy sumbitches don’t F&$K WITH MY CHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Posted by Texas Bob on 2006 07 13 at 02:18 PM • permalink

  12. I wouldn’t take anything from that Leona Helmsley clone bitc…awwww xxxx, I thought it was spam.

    Oh tosh. Martha simply wouldn’t do spam. She’s more of a free range Chateaubriand kinda gal.

    Posted by Blue Hen on 2006 07 13 at 02:42 PM • permalink

  13. ..... inches very carefully out of line of sight of Texas Bob, clutching obscene profits made by selling Haliburton stock last week.

    Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2006 07 13 at 03:05 PM • permalink

  14. Yeah, but wait till they announce the new contract goes to Wal-Mart!

    Posted by Patricia on 2006 07 13 at 03:31 PM • permalink

  15. Wal-Mart!  Oh, man, the Iraq war is over.  Jihadi Islam doesn’t stand a chance once the locals get hired to work for Wal-Mart.  They are a mind-bending cult all their own, and I know this personally, have once spent five weeks attending their happy-clappy associate meetings.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 07 13 at 03:37 PM • permalink

  16. Texas Bob, don’t forget those tasty T-rations.  Your meal cycle might be T-M-T. 

    A few months of that, and camel kabob starts to look good.

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 07 13 at 03:47 PM • permalink

  17. Good thing it won’t be M-T-M kos we might get Ed Asner over there and that would be a problem!

    Posted by yojimbo on 2006 07 13 at 03:58 PM • permalink

  18. Although!  If T-Bob met Asner at a gas station over there…..

    I withdraw my previous post.

    Posted by yojimbo on 2006 07 13 at 04:00 PM • permalink

  19. You bastards. There is clearly a conspiracy here to debunk the conspiracies.

    Posted by Margos Maid on 2006 07 13 at 06:10 PM • permalink

  20. You know, that’s what we need:  Wal-marts, KMarts, 7-11s, MackyD’s, all of that stuff, and especially Levi’s jeans, in Iraq.  Now.  And some amusement parks, and tours of archaeological sites.  The residents will want them tourist $$ real bad, more so than the French do.

    Posted by ushie on 2006 07 13 at 06:20 PM • permalink

  21. T-rations?!  I would jacklight a camel first.  Hell, I’d jacklight a wolf-camel spider.

    we always figured we got those things because American prisons have standards.

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 07 13 at 06:50 PM • permalink

  22. Actually, I’m waiting for a lefty to trundle by and tell us that the Halliburton monopoly on these contracts was just fine because now there’ll be that scourge of capitalism…shudder...competition.

    Posted by PW on 2006 07 13 at 07:12 PM • permalink

  23. Plasturkler W. McSmirklerchimpler.

    Posted by Dave S. on 2006 07 13 at 07:55 PM • permalink

  24. Notice how the statement only mentions Iraq?  “The army has decided to end a controversial multibillion-dollar contract with Halliburton, the oil services company, to provide logistics support to US forces in IRAQ”

    With so many countries to liberate, I’m sure we’ll see Dicks company back in business before you can say ca-chink!!

    Besides, Halliburton said “..it might bid for work under the new structure.”

    Anyway, there article speaks of the contract for logistics support.  Nothing mentioned about oil production and exploration . ca-chink!!

    I wonder if the Pentagon will give Halliburton a parting gift for services to the America, kind of like the corporation’s version of the Medal of Freedom.  Maybe they’ll even get another one of those $70 million bonuses they received for defrauding the US government, just for old times sake. ca-chink!!

    Anyone know if they ever came up with the receipts for the billion plus expense bill they handed the treasury last year?

    Posted by Addamo on 2006 07 13 at 10:30 PM • permalink

  25. Prediction: The winner of the contract will be greeted with less than open arms by those who’ve made such hay out of Halliburton. “They didn’t use Pete’s Sandalwiches and Oil Well Putter-Outer Chatauqua? I *knew* it!”

    Posted by bovious on 2006 07 13 at 10:49 PM • permalink

  26. #22 PW - see #24 AddamsFamily.  A couple of hours only to duely arrive.

    Not exactly there I know, but with that fellow its impossible to get him off the topic of Iraq.

    (passes a cigar to PW)

    Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2006 07 13 at 11:29 PM • permalink

  27. So Chimpeachment Mcdeathitlenronbu$hOILiniburton, the unelected Chimperial pResident of the United Hates of SurveillazionaziKKKa is going to have to be changed?

    That’s a shame.

    Posted by Leigh on 2006 07 14 at 12:36 AM • permalink

  28. #24 You are so right Addamo. We’ve been helping the Halliburton consortium to pack up all of their baby-killing-mosque-destroying-side-well-oil-drilling-rigs so we can move on to the Greener Pastures of Iran and North Korea.  I was just bitching because we need a break. Seriously, do you have any idea how tiring it gets killing babies, blowing up mosques, and drilling for oil is? Brother it is WORK!
    Since we’ve pretty much sucked all the oil out of Iraq already, and Halli’s 1050% profit margin is starting to sink some, its time to declare victory here and move to the next sucker evil empirelette. 
    You’re also right; we need to start planning the medal presentation and parade right away.  Thanks Addamo, you are true patriot.

    Posted by Texas Bob on 2006 07 14 at 01:41 AM • permalink

  29. With so many countries to liberate, I’m sure we’ll see Dicks company back in business before you can say ca-chink!!

    It’s possible, Addamo.  But so what?  I can point you to construction contracts
    here that authorize up to $500 million per year for several years….and that’s just for construction services.  That’s separate from the contract being discussed in this thread. Multiple companies are involved, and seeing a company more than once is not uncommon.

    In fact, check out this press releaseof from the Corps of Engineers.  Note the 5th company on the list….Kellogg, Brown, and Root, Services, INC.  A subsidiary of Halliburton.

    And they were awarded the construction services contract in January 2005, for a period not to exceed 5 years.  This is typical in Federal contracting; the same company provides multiple services to DoD under various contracts.  See CH2M Hill? Same deal, just no food services.

    But it looks like Rummy anticipated your whinge….over 2 years ago! 

    BUAWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 07 14 at 01:49 AM • permalink

  30. Whoops!  PIMF, KBR got the contract in January 2004.  My bad.  But still…..

    BUAWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 07 14 at 01:50 AM • permalink

  31. One day the Armed Forces will be contracted out in toto.


    Having a public service style military machine has a lot of drawbacks.


    Like having to face political ramifications for dragging a terrorist around with a chain while they merrily behead a few more dozen civilians.


    Or pussy rules of engagement, written by pussies for pussies.


    Soner they contract out the army, the sooner the mean machines can start rolling.

    Posted by MarshallD on 2006 07 14 at 02:31 AM • permalink

  32. #24, Addammo, You idiot:  It’s “Ka-CHING!”  Not ka-chink.  Moron.

    Posted by ushie on 2006 07 14 at 06:54 AM • permalink

  33. Ah, but in Canada, where Addamo rules and sees all, it surely is ka-chink.

    Right dummy?

    Here’s a thought: If you truly believe that Halliburton is the anti-christ, and that you truly support the troops, why don’t you get your buddies Al Gore and George Soros together to form a company that would do these great deeds in a humane, Ghiafriendly, multi-culuturally diverse way? As if they could form a company that provided any real goods or services. Or as if the troops would trust anything that they provided. They could replicate the enomous success of Air America and Gore’s new network.

    P.S. Your buddies in the US Democratic Party are using photographs of soldier’s coffins and a burial as an election pitch. Congratulations you ghoul.

    Posted by Blue Hen on 2006 07 14 at 09:14 AM • permalink

  34. The Addams family might like to know that HAL was a big favorite of the Clinton Administration.  Clinton even side-stepped the LOGCAP process in 1997.  HAL lost their contract in the Balkans to Dyncorp.  Clinton then awarded a sole-source contract to HAL and told Dyncorp to go packing.  What’s good enough for the traitor should be good enough for the Addams Family.

    HAL was even praised by Algore in 1996 as a highly efficient company.

    Posted by yojimbo on 2006 07 14 at 11:39 AM • permalink

  35. #34 - yojimbo, your use of facts in dismantling Addamo has guaranteed he won’t return to this thread. He’ll pop up in three or four days on another one, say something stupid, get fact-smacked again, and run away again. For - what - the 60, 70th time?

    On the off chance that Addamo is actually reading this and hasn’t done his usual bleat-and-flee, here goes - Addamo, your pattern of stupid chickenshittery is getting tiresome. When you get clue-batted, either defend yourself or admit you’re wrong. Quit farting in the elevator right before you step out. Sack up, you pussy.

    Posted by Dave S. on 2006 07 14 at 02:22 PM • permalink

  36. Time to fire up the boiler in the Tardis Wron…

    Posted by crash on 2006 07 16 at 10:16 AM • permalink

  37. Page 1 of 1 pages

Commenting is not available in this weblog entry.

Members:
Login | Register | Member List

Please note: you must use a real email address to register. You will be sent an account activation email. Clicking on the url in the email will automatically activate your account. Until you do so your account will be held in the "pending" list and you won't be able to log in. All accounts that are "pending" for more than one week will be deleted.