<< REPORTERS PUNISHED ~ MAIN ~ MR BLOBBY ON ICE >>

BELIEVE, AND IT WILL HAPPEN

Leading mind dancer and world observer Mia Handshin closes in on victory:

Labor’s star recruit in the blue-ribbon Liberal stronghold of Sturt, Mia Handshin, is encouraged by a poll putting her within 2 per cent of unseating Christopher Pyne.

Mia is the only 2007 election candidate thus far to win this site’s total support.

Posted by Tim B. on 10/05/2007 at 12:38 AM
  1. There’s no need to fear
    The ascension of Mia,
    She won’t unravel,
    From astral travel-

    Some say fiddly-dee
    To matters of chi,
    But the i-ching says vote,
    Chris Pyne is a scrote-

    To the punters of Sturt,
    Be sure it won’t hurt,
    You should exclaim yippie,
    And elect a dumb hippy.

    She could be no more worse,
    Than this mitre-free verse,
    And while her whiff may cause cack,
    She’s not a union hack.

    Posted by Habib on 2007 10 05 at 12:57 AM • permalink

  2. BTW, I hope Handshin’s preselection didn’t involve handshandies.

    Posted by Habib on 2007 10 05 at 12:58 AM • permalink

  3. How long before Ms Handjob goes for the head job?

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 10 05 at 01:02 AM • permalink

  4. I commend the South Australian ALP on finding a candidate who has not been convicted of murder. I see she is involved in witchcraft and the occult, but who isn’t in S.A.

    Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 10 05 at 01:03 AM • permalink

  5. #4 the gene pool is shallow there.

    What is it with dumb blondes from SA being preselected for Labor?

    And another ex-ABC leftist. Surprise, surprise.

    Posted by lingus4 on 2007 10 05 at 01:05 AM • permalink

  6. #3
    Here she is with the head bloke

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 10 05 at 01:08 AM • permalink

  7. I’d give her my total support but my wife would be very PO’d.

    And she’s not running for Curtin (Go Julie!)

    Posted by Razor on 2007 10 05 at 01:15 AM • permalink

  8. The ALP must think that she’s mana from Kevin, in a mana of speaking ...

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 10 05 at 01:18 AM • permalink

  9. Just what we need - another fruitcake Leftist Labor red-head.

    Look out, Julia, your position is under challenge…

    Posted by Apparatchik on 2007 10 05 at 01:18 AM • permalink

  10. #6- She looks disturbingly like an ironed Maxine McKew.

    BTW, I hope every voter in Sturt realises that for every vote against Mia, a fairy dies.

    (Could get a bit whiffy around Oxford St in early December then).

    Posted by Habib on 2007 10 05 at 01:27 AM • permalink

  11. #9
    How long till PhatPhil says she’ll spill Gill’?

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 10 05 at 01:34 AM • permalink

  12. Pull the other one. That’s a Phil Hendrie character, isn’t it?

    Next you’ll be telling me Bobbie Dooley is going to be the next PM.

    Posted by Dave S. on 2007 10 05 at 01:35 AM • permalink

  13. I’m reminded of that song from the good old Dgeneration:
    ’ Lets go on an astral bushwalk, we’ll walk through the sky above, you bring the water, Ill bring the thermos and we’ll drink from the billy of looooovvvvvve, of looooovvveeee’

    Some people need their own theme music. her’s would be the ‘chung dukka chung dulkka chung’ of a Hare Krishna troupe.

    Posted by Nic on 2007 10 05 at 01:40 AM • permalink

  14. #6
    If Kevin blows ‘7, she could get the head job ...

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 10 05 at 01:46 AM • permalink

  15. What!!!?!?!  No mention of the release the fairy’s campaign in her professional resume.

    Outrageous!

    Posted by peter m on 2007 10 05 at 01:47 AM • permalink

  16. #14
    That is unless she’s just a whack job, after all?

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 10 05 at 01:51 AM • permalink

  17. She has a cranial cavity full of facile vomit.

    Posted by Penguin on 2007 10 05 at 01:53 AM • permalink

  18. #16- That’s one impressive portfolio of moonbat organisations, public funding siphons, busybody clavens and straight-out ratbag rabbles; I think she’d be more at home with fearless leader and his pixie patrol than with Kommisar Kev- not enough mongrel in that background, no backstabbing FCU history, no climbing over the fetid corpses of failed functionaries- I reckon the first time Tony Abbott looks at her she’ll burst into tears and flee the chamber (probably thinking the orcs are on to her).

    Posted by Habib on 2007 10 05 at 01:57 AM • permalink

  19. #15
    Wot, fairies at the back of the bus, yet again?

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 10 05 at 01:57 AM • permalink

  20. #15

    Very impressive resume, Mz. Handshin, but you seem to have left out your employment history? Really, never had a job? Well colour me fucking purple, stick a toffee apple up my arse and call me surprised.

    Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 10 05 at 02:01 AM • permalink

  21. #6 The more I see Rudd, the more I think there is something not quite right about his looks. His face reminds me of this, or of a particularly fake looking papier mache movie boulder that you used to see sitting handily next to a cliff in an old cowboy movie.

    His speech isn’t right for a provincial Queenslander neither, and his hair looks like it has been manufactured from the first sprouting pubescence of a Bhutanese cashmere goatlet, and wired in by some sweatshop worker in Hunan.

    To summarise - he just don’t seem quite right to me, and my suspicion is that he is actually some kind of android manufactured in China.

    Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 10 05 at 02:05 AM • permalink

  22. Ms Handjiz is prolly popular amongst the ALP members ...

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 10 05 at 02:08 AM • permalink

  23. Wow, how many councils, NGO, advisory roles has see had. How can one person be so concerned (about her resume).

    Where is the EMPLOYMENT history. See was an associate to a barrister (work experience). I note that she is (will probably never) not admitted to legal profession.

    Posted by mustus on 2007 10 05 at 02:10 AM • permalink

  24. Should have been #15 instead of #16.

    What is it with the intellectually challenged and a career in politics? Surely it couldn’t be something so simple as being bereft of talent, ability and endevour, politics offers a ride to wealth and power without the requirement of the aforementioned three assets, normally required for achievement and success?

    And I’m not poking fun at the disabled munchkins at that worthy site either, but I reckon they’d be better off if their noisy hangers on put their time into paying attention to their charges rather than rent-seeking, and we’d probably be better off if the special kiddies were put into parliament.

    Posted by Habib on 2007 10 05 at 02:10 AM • permalink

  25. Was she was a participant or ‘seminar trainer’?

    ‘Business Institute of Australia, Training Seminar for Bankwest, 2001’

    Might be time to close the account, just to be on the safe side.

    Posted by mustus on 2007 10 05 at 02:14 AM • permalink

  26. #21
    KRuddy does tend to look a tad odd when he’s photographed next to a ‘normal’ human.

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 10 05 at 02:15 AM • permalink

  27. #20 IT, as always, it gives me great pleasure to read your inspirationally colourful prose. Yours too, Habib.

    Posted by Skeeter on 2007 10 05 at 02:19 AM • permalink

  28. #27 Yup: great effort at #1, ole son.

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 10 05 at 02:26 AM • permalink

  29. Word is that the ALP is upbeat about Mia’s chances because the sheila they’ve put up in the seat next door (Boothby) is even more of a ditz

    Posted by Big Jim on 2007 10 05 at 02:27 AM • permalink

  30. She hasn’t yet held an actual job.

    Posted by Steve at the pub on 2007 10 05 at 02:27 AM • permalink

  31. But, but, she’s a graduate of the Institute for Mediation, Negotiation and Conflict Resolution, International Student Symposium, The Hague, 2001, for pity’s sake. What more could you people ask?! Bloody ingrates.

    Some people need their own theme music.

    Well, it’s a marvelous night for a mind dance
    With the stars up above in your eyes
    A fantabulous night to make romance
    ‘Neath the cover of October skies

    Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2007 10 05 at 02:27 AM • permalink

  32. Institute for Mediation, Negotiation and Conflict Resolution,International Student Symposium, The Hague, 2001, Graduate

    Not much of a step up from the ‘Ponds Institute’

    Posted by Nic on 2007 10 05 at 02:39 AM • permalink

  33. She’s Mia alright. When it comes to doing an honest day’s toil, she’s M.I.A.

    Posted by Nic on 2007 10 05 at 02:49 AM • permalink

  34. Freelance Writer   Weekly columnist and contributor to Adelaide Now with The Advertiser Newspaper 1997 – April 2007
         
    Business Principal

    Mana of Speaking   Facilitation, Speaking and Training Consultancy and Freelance Writing

    cf.

    Legal Officer         Woomera Refugee Detention Centre Legal Outpost, December 2001

    That associate job for the barrister could be a pile of crap, or could be busy research work.  Cannot be sure.

    But if it was crap, then compare her actual employed work (1 month - was it a full month?  Did she pike after 1 week at the job?  Who knows.) with the “I can spout interesting words” work. Not having a crack at Tim B here, but a weekly columnist putting in 1 column a week is hardly full time employed.

    It is seriously possible that this lady with the impressive looking resume has spent 1 week in full-time employment, at a womens’ refugee centre, providing advice on how to fill out forms.

    I think she will make an awesome politician!

    Posted by peter m on 2007 10 05 at 02:53 AM • permalink

  35. Reading that woman’s words, suffocating in gushing treacle, gave me the chills.  Watch your pocketbooks, mates.

    Posted by saltydog on 2007 10 05 at 02:59 AM • permalink

  36. #33
    Mamma - Mia needs a theme song

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 10 05 at 03:21 AM • permalink

  37. #21 The more I see Rudd, the more I think there is something not quite right about his looks.

    Margos, give him time. Puberty can bring great changes.

    Posted by Col. Milquetoast on 2007 10 05 at 04:12 AM • permalink

  38. #36, lol. I think of a song if I get time. Mama Mia maybe a good start.

    Posted by Nic on 2007 10 05 at 04:53 AM • permalink

  39. I have been holding street corner meetings, visiting shopping centres, attending community events and calling on people in their homes
    Almost sounds like someone whitewashing their 100 hour community service sentence for a string of prostitution, shoplifting and break and enter offences.

    Posted by lotocoti on 2007 10 05 at 05:01 AM • permalink

  40. Mia is the only 2007 election candidate thus far to win this site’s total support. -Tim B.

    Okay, what’s that mean?  Should I get the Diebolds out of storage?  Abduct and sequester the opposition candidate in an Ohio pumpkin patch (a la John Kerrey) for two weeks?  What, what?

    Posted by wronwright on 2007 10 05 at 05:28 AM • permalink

  41. No need for me to write anything, someone, who may be Mia’s ex singing about her?

    Posted by Nic on 2007 10 05 at 05:33 AM • permalink

  42. The more celebrity candidates the better. Labor’s track record with celebs has made some great theatre. Who can forget Cheryl kernot’s often bizarre performances. And what about Victoria’s Mary Delahunty. What an embarrassment.

    And look at poor Peter garrett. Forced to support foresty and now a pulp mill in opposition, he will have to back coal mines, the US alliance and uranium mines in government. His green credentials are so tattered he must be feeling it in the hip pocket (or man purse). No true greenie would be caught dead with a Midnight Oil CD these days

    So imagine what it is going to be like with Rudd’s growing collection of airheads and media super stars all vying to get their faces on TV.

    Posted by Contrail on 2007 10 05 at 05:53 AM • permalink

  43. #15
    Fuck me Roman, she’s been a busy little professional carer shouldering all the burdens of the world.  Too bad she’s ignored the greatest threat to the planet.

    Posted by lotocoti on 2007 10 05 at 05:55 AM • permalink

  44. A twit, but still better looking than my local representative.

    Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2007 10 05 at 07:17 AM • permalink

  45. #41 Nic, The Tennants classic, ‘You shit me to tears’, describes your average ALP candidate perfectly.

    Posted by CB on 2007 10 05 at 07:25 AM • permalink

  46. #44 Better than mine Swinish.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 10 05 at 07:32 AM • permalink

  47. You all dance in my mind each time I sit in my meditation space ...
    Stick that in a flyer to the waverers in the electorate, Mia. Should do the trick.

    Posted by blogstrop on 2007 10 05 at 07:35 AM • permalink

  48. Oh dear, I just looked at his biography.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 10 05 at 07:38 AM • permalink

  49. Whaddya know, Ash - Mr Blobby has a day job!

    Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2007 10 05 at 07:42 AM • permalink

  50. Ha ha ha Swinish, he probably just moonlights as an MP because the pay’s better!

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 10 05 at 07:49 AM • permalink

  51. Oh we’re cruel, we’re so cruel.
    Why does it feel so good?

    Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2007 10 05 at 07:53 AM • permalink

  52. I don’t know Swinish, but it’s because it does feel so good that we keep doing it!

    If the Member got a bit of his hair trimmed, dyed it grey, and had his nose made a bit narrower, he could moonlight as Al Gore.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 10 05 at 07:59 AM • permalink

  53. Half your luck! Mine looks like he’s been caught halfway through something indecent.

    Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2007 10 05 at 08:14 AM • permalink

  54. Swinish, it’s Stephen Smith. Odds are, he was caught halfway through something indecent!

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 10 05 at 08:19 AM • permalink

  55. There was movement across the nation, for the word had passed around
    That the dolt from - oh, we regret - had gone away,
    And had joined the wild push causes — she wouldn’t give ground,
    So all the hacks had gathered to the fray.
    All the tried and noted writers from the nation’s near and far
    Had mustered ‘round the fairy full of bite,
    For the Bush men love hard writing where the wild push causes are,
    And the Right, of course, snuffs the battle with delight.

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 10 05 at 08:24 AM • permalink

  56. #36 egg- This is the campaign song you’re looking for.

    Posted by dean martin on 2007 10 05 at 08:36 AM • permalink

  57. WTF is this she has?

    Bachelor of Laws (with Honours) completed 2000

    The best known ‘Laws’ in Australia is this bloke.

    OK, I can understand some whackjob work-dodging hippy twit like Mia having a degree examining someone who actually works for a living, but how did she get Honours in Laws? Does this mean intensive study or gross perversion of some kind… or maybe a commercial transaction?

    Hey, as the lefties like to say, I’m just asking the question….

    MarkL
    Canberra

    Posted by MarkL on 2007 10 05 at 08:36 AM • permalink

  58. Quite so, Ash. Got to go, good night all.

    Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2007 10 05 at 08:38 AM • permalink

  59. Mia Handshin meets the real world.

    Posted by dean martin on 2007 10 05 at 08:57 AM • permalink

  60. #6: That little photo on her webpage is almost 350KB which makes her a perfect Labor candidate, unnecessary and wasteful overheads being their forte.

    Posted by Srekwah on 2007 10 05 at 12:27 PM • permalink

  61. “Ambassador for the International Year of Older Person’s” [Handshin Site]

    For someone who started writing newspaper columns already as a teenie, I’m sure the ‘older persons’ will be very impressed by her English.

    Posted by Barrie on 2007 10 05 at 08:28 PM • permalink

  62. #56 Dean
    Spot on - anything Hair-brained would suit ...

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 10 05 at 10:13 PM • permalink

  63. ...more songs about hippies:

    I Want to Spill the Blood of a Hippy

    Don’t Fuck Me Up (With Peace And Love)

    Posted by monaro on 2007 10 06 at 12:04 AM • permalink

  64. Juz can’t cop Ms Hand’s jive

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 10 06 at 12:16 AM • permalink

  65. Page 1 of 1 pages

Commenting is not available in this weblog entry.

Members:
Login | Register | Member List

Please note: you must use a real email address to register. You will be sent an account activation email. Clicking on the url in the email will automatically activate your account. Until you do so your account will be held in the "pending" list and you won't be able to log in. All accounts that are "pending" for more than one week will be deleted.