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BEARS HUNGRY, FORESTS GROWTHY

This site on polar bear cannibalism, June 2006:

Maybe they just like eating other polar bears.

Turns out they really do, even if they’re well-fed. (This evidence of indiscriminate polar munchiness may slightly dent Tara Brown’s global warming theory.) Meanwhile, trees are everywhere:

Claims that tropical forests are declining cannot be backed up by hard evidence, according to new research from the University of Leeds.

This major challenge to conventional thinking is the surprising finding of a study published today in the Proceedings of the US National Academy of Sciences by Dr Alan Grainger, Senior Lecturer in Geography and one of the world’s leading experts on tropical deforestation.

“Every few years we get a new estimate of the annual rate of tropical deforestation,” said Dr Grainger. “They always seem to show that these marvellous forests have only a short time left. Unfortunately, everybody assumes that deforestation is happening and fails to look at the bigger picture – what is happening to forest area as a whole ...

“If there is no long-term net decline it suggests that deforestation is being accompanied by a lot of natural reforestation that we have not spotted.”

The carbon offsetting industry won’t be happy about this.

(Via Hal G.P. Colebatch and Garth Godsman)

UPDATE. The NYT:

Corporations and shoppers in the United States spent more than $54 million last year on carbon offset credits toward tree planting, wind farms, solar plants and other projects to balance the emissions created by, say, using a laptop computer or flying on a jet.

But where exactly is that money going?

(Via Toby B.)

UPDATE II. Bears have a long history of eating stuff.

Posted by Tim B. on 01/09/2008 at 12:21 PM
  1. In a severely unfriendly environment like the polar ice cap, eating your competition make real good sense.

    Posted by mojo on 2008 01 09 at 12:40 PM • permalink

  2. Abusive bastards! I hope they all drown.

    Posted by paco on 2008 01 09 at 12:56 PM • permalink

  3. Polar bears eating their young? Who doesn’t like Polar veal?

    Posted by Redd on 2008 01 09 at 01:15 PM • permalink

  4. This offsetting notion works in both directions, you know. In order to offset this newly discovered rampant forest growth, we’re going to have to burn a lot more fossil fuels. (I’m doing my part by continuing to drive a car that, if it were human, would be old enough to vote.)

    Posted by sundog on 2008 01 09 at 01:22 PM • permalink

  5. “If there is no long-term net decline it suggests that deforestation is being accompanied by a lot of natural reforestation that we have not spotted.”

    Sure. Bird poop. The very small porton of it that falls on the ground (as opposed to falling on my car) is loaded with seeds. And squirrels, bustling around all through the autumn, burying acorns (Mr. Squirrel to Mrs. Squirrel: “Quit nagging me! I don’t need to draw a map, I know exactly where I put ‘em.”)

    Posted by paco on 2008 01 09 at 01:27 PM • permalink

  6. These stories are interrelated. The lack of arctic forests means lack of clubs so they can’t eat their natural prey, baby seals.
    It’s all tied together folks.

    Posted by Veeshir on 2008 01 09 at 01:52 PM • permalink

  7. New ad campaign..

    Polar Bear, it’s what’s for dinner

    or….

    Polar Bear, the ‘other’ white meat

    (okay, probably only the seppos are gonna get these…..)

    Posted by Old Tanker on 2008 01 09 at 02:17 PM • permalink

  8. The Polar Bear’s Ex-Wife
    Accepts His Dinner Invitation:

    I’m so relieved you didn’t force
    A bitter and ugly divorce;
    Hurt feelings will heal
    With drinks and a meal;
    And by the way, where’s the main course?

    Posted by lyle on 2008 01 09 at 02:28 PM • permalink

  9. Hmmmm.

    This is because the soil in the rainforest is only capable of sustaining a few crop planting/harvests before it’s mostly played out.  So the slash-and-burn farmers pack up, move over to the next section and clear that out while the previously farmed bit of jungle is left to return to it’s natural state.

    Posted by memomachine on 2008 01 09 at 02:37 PM • permalink

  10. Doug the Sensitive Polar Bear
    Requests a More Politically
    Correct Term than ‘Cannibal’:

    The memories hurt and frustrate him, 
    And no tender gestures placate him,
    For it’s the last word
    That he ever heard
    His friend say the day that he ate him.

    Posted by lyle on 2008 01 09 at 02:59 PM • permalink

  11. I can imagine the new motto for the envirotards:  “REALITY DOESN’T EXIST”.

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2008 01 09 at 03:00 PM • permalink

  12. To paraphrase Jeff Goldblum in Jurassic Park:  “Trees will find a way.”

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2008 01 09 at 03:08 PM • permalink

  13. Trees.  Sneaky like neenja.

    Posted by Achillea on 2008 01 09 at 03:56 PM • permalink

  14. Tigers in Vietnam don’t have to eat each other. Humans do it for them.

    Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2008 01 09 at 05:01 PM • permalink

  15. Polar bears eating their young.

    Where’s child services when you need them?

    Posted by kae on 2008 01 09 at 05:03 PM • permalink

  16. Even when they later realised that the mothers had failed to bond with their offspring-officials said it was vital that the tiny cubs should be reared “naturally”, even admitting they would leave them to starve.

    The obvious parallel with the Knut saga is mentioned shortly afterwards. This is where I don’t get these ‘people’. Sometimes you can trace back their line of thought to one or two mistakes/misconceptions or whatever, but, allowing for that, understand the rest of their argument. You still don’t agree, but you see where they’re coming from.

    Then you have these cases, presumably serious imbalances in neurotransmitter chemicals, where the whole synaptic process seems to have broken down into some horrible oversimplified, primitive limbic reflexive pattern you hesitate to call ‘thought’.

    Recently, Andrew Bolt has been on his soap box regarding the extreme levels of child abuse in Aboriginal communities and linking the lack of protection to social workers’ fear of recreating another (of the mythical)Stolen Generation.

    Both scenarios stem from this irrational, reverse-racist (or reverse-speciest in the bear case) view of white humans/humans in general.

    I’ll try this analogy: you’ve got a TV, a Civilization Society trinitron 2000. It’s no longer brand new. There’s some dust and dirt, the reception’s not great in rainy weather and every so often there are problems with the vertical hold. The TV cost you a lot and they don’t make anything half as good anymore. There are no repairmen*, you have to do it yourself, or with help. What do you do - clean it, buy a better aeriel, get up off your bottom and adjust the vertical hold when it plays up? Or do you sit there complaining, throwing food and empty beer cans at it and, finally, the remote control? When it doesn’t miraculously do what you want, you eventually do get up, stomp on the remote and take a baseball bat to the screen.

    * After years of you and others phoning the company and complaining about the problems, they release (thanks to a few bright sparks who, growing up with such a TV, decided to become electrical engineers) the Society Civilisation trintron 2001 with improved picture, sound, high-definition in-built digital tuner and a reliable vertical hold.

    Posted by Dminor on 2008 01 09 at 05:04 PM • permalink

  17. Oh, SNAP, Dminor!

    Posted by kae on 2008 01 09 at 05:07 PM • permalink

  18. Dang, don’t you hate it when pressing ENTER during a spell check submits the post instead?

    Aeriel = aerial.

    And I was going to add that I normally hate analogies because they’re always inaccurate somewhere along the line. Go for it if you want.

    Posted by Dminor on 2008 01 09 at 05:09 PM • permalink

  19. I’ll try this analogy: imagine Dminor’s analogy as a… no, that won’t work.

    Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2008 01 09 at 05:12 PM • permalink

  20. One day, I want to try panda.  I bet they’re really tender.  And bambooie.

    Posted by aaron_ on 2008 01 09 at 05:14 PM • permalink

  21. mmmmmmmmmmmm…....polar bear!

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2008 01 09 at 05:26 PM • permalink

  22. And while I’m thinking of it…...can they train the mama polar bear to save the skins of the cubs?  Think of the great slippers they would make!

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2008 01 09 at 05:27 PM • permalink

  23. It’s why the Labor Party feels so for the fate of the polar bear. It, too, eats its own.

    Posted by Contrail on 2008 01 09 at 05:35 PM • permalink

  24. Eskimos kill and stuff them.

    Posted by 1.618 on 2008 01 09 at 05:42 PM • permalink

  25. Where will polar bears live now?

    Posted by 1.618 on 2008 01 09 at 05:44 PM • permalink

  26. Yesterday, I saw the seals sleeping on the rocks by the coast line. I didn’t BBQ them as their skin is too rubbery.

    Posted by 1.618 on 2008 01 09 at 05:45 PM • permalink

  27. Aaah now I understand what my psychiatrist means when he tell me to get in touch with my inner child*

    * Sometimes it even sounds like he is saying dinner child.

    Posted by Penguin on 2008 01 09 at 06:52 PM • permalink

  28. They best way to prevent Poley Cannibalism?  Sue the Feds.

    Environmentalists Plan to Sue Feds Over Polar Bears

    “They are already drowning, starving, and resorting to cannibalism because they don’t have access to their usual food sources. The sea ice retreat is happening much faster than forecasted.”

    Litigation.  It’s always the answer.

    Posted by spot_the_dog on 2008 01 09 at 07:06 PM • permalink

  29. Trees just love carbon dioxide.It enables them to grow bigger,faster and healthier.If you happen to be a tree,CO2 is good for you!

    Posted by Lew on 2008 01 09 at 07:07 PM • permalink

  30. * It’s the Polar Bears drowning, starving, etc; not the environmentalists.

    Posted by spot_the_dog on 2008 01 09 at 07:08 PM • permalink

  31. I’m really surprised that a panda (or a black bear) isn’t speaking for the polarbears and demanding a billion dollar fund be set up for compensation.

    Posted by kae on 2008 01 09 at 07:09 PM • permalink

  32. Sheesh! What do you expect them to do when they can’t get penguins?

    Posted by ErnieG on 2008 01 09 at 07:14 PM • permalink

  33. But where exactly is that money going?

    This is why I flat out refuse to buy a single carbon credit.  I suspect much of it is going to “overhead”, like with a lot of the less reputable “charities”.

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2008 01 09 at 07:20 PM • permalink

  34. * It’s the Polar Bears drowning, starving, etc; not the environmentalists.

    Damn.  I was looking so forward to waching polar bears feast on dead environmentalists.

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2008 01 09 at 07:22 PM • permalink

  35. But where exactly is that money going?

    Meh heh heh!

    Posted by paco on 2008 01 09 at 07:42 PM • permalink

  36. Not the Polar Animals’ Compensation Organisation by any chance?

    Posted by Dminor on 2008 01 09 at 07:45 PM • permalink

  37. #33

    “Corporations and shoppers in the United States spent more than $54 million last year on carbon offset credits toward tree planting, wind farms, solar plants and other projects to balance the emissions created by, say, using a laptop computer or flying on a jet.

    “But where exactly is that money going?

    The Federal Trade Commission, which regulates advertising claims, raised the question Tuesday in its first hearing in a series on green marketing, this one focusing on carbon offsets.

    “With the rapid growth of green programs like carbon offsets, “there’s a heightened potential for deception,” said Deborah Platt Majoras, chairwoman of the commission.”

    Other people are finally starting to ask questions…  Better late than never.  What will duped consumers do if/when some of these programmes are uncovered as fraudulent?  More lawsuits?

    Posted by spot_the_dog on 2008 01 09 at 07:49 PM • permalink

  38. Al Gore’s pocket, perchance?

    Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2008 01 09 at 07:56 PM • permalink

  39. To actually pay money to these latter day Tetzels who then pay the poor of the world to remain energy poor is the ultimate obscenity.

    This isn’t liberalism, its Stalinism. And yes, I’m looking at you Mr Gore.

    Posted by John A on 2008 01 09 at 08:21 PM • permalink

  40. Greens are always happy to have the amenities of civilization so long as they can make sure there are plenty of brown people mired in crushing poverty to atone for their sins.  Plus, those cute indigineous tribespersons make these totally awesome beads, and they have an unspoiled, more authentic lifestyle.  And they’re way more spiritual than we are.

    Posted by Steve Skubinna on 2008 01 09 at 10:14 PM • permalink

  41. #40

    and they have an unspoiled, more authentic lifestyle.  And they’re way more spiritual than we are.

    And they’re always smiling and happy with their lot of crushing poverty.

    You never hear them whinge.

    Posted by kae on 2008 01 09 at 10:18 PM • permalink

  42. What will duped consumers do if/when some of these programmes are uncovered as fraudulent?

    Learn an important life lesson in the costs of unquestioning credulity and continue on, uncomplaining, a little older and a little wiser?

    bwahahahahahahahahaha ... haha ... ha

    I just crack me up sometimes.

    Posted by Achillea on 2008 01 10 at 12:14 AM • permalink

  43. But where exactly is that money going?

    Into Al Gore’s pocket!

    Posted by Bonmot on 2008 01 10 at 12:50 AM • permalink

  44. 27. When I was little, I sometimes wouldn’t eat meat.  I hated hamburgers and steak and chicken.

    I realized later that here in michigan we have tradition of overcooking out meat.  We cook the hell out of it.  I realized meat was good when I started eating it rare. (when I was little I would eat raw ground beef while mom was cooking, but hated hamburgers and when it came to dinner, I was a vegetarian.)

    Posted by aaron_ on 2008 01 10 at 02:00 AM • permalink

  45. 29. Funny thing about trees, when they grow more, they absorb more solar radiation, which eventually turns to heat.

    Posted by aaron_ on 2008 01 10 at 02:09 AM • permalink

  46. Ehhh.  If poley beers can survive ice ages and warmings while feeding on eachother, I think means they’re pretty high on the food chain.  Biggest threat is a dominant predator.

    Posted by aaron_ on 2008 01 10 at 02:14 AM • permalink

  47. A little message you can pass on to the clueless control freaks you know. (Like at zoological gardens and animal welfare societies ec.)

    Stressed mothers kill their young. Humans, polar bears, moonbats, when a mother of any species is under stress they will kill their young as a way of relieving that stress. (You really don’t want to freak out a moonbat, it can get (Al) gory.)

    The best remedy is to give mother and child privacy, and leave them alone. Don’t bother them. Don’t weigh, measure, annoy them. When they’re ready to bring the kid out into the world, they’ll do it.

    You don’t have to be in control of everything. And when you understand that, you can then work on the control freaks in government.

    Posted by mythusmage on 2008 01 10 at 06:40 PM • permalink

  48. Just a reminder: Priced-to-sell offsets.

    Polar Bear Meat:

    Although polar bear meat is considered delicious it is never eaten raw like other meats because it carries many parasites. The polar bear liver is never eaten or fed to the dogs because it causes Vitamin A poisoning, which results in severe illness or even death. Polar bear meat, like most country foods, is an excellent source of iron and protein. Polar bear fat provides Inuit with Vitamin A and omega-3 fatty acids which helps reduce the risk of heart disease. Polar bear meat is usually baked or boiled in a soup or stew.

    Nanuq

    Cheers

    Posted by J.M. Heinrichs on 2008 01 10 at 07:57 PM • permalink

  49. Re #44 aaron_

    At my house when I was growing up, trichinosis was the fear when eating any kind of pork, so Mom would just bake all the life out of it.

    Pork: the Other black meat.

    Posted by Big Dan on 2008 01 11 at 06:23 PM • permalink

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