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BEARS DISCOURAGED

Cannibalistic drowner bears are denied their dump diet in Canada:

The northern Manitoba community of Churchill is closing its dump and locking up trash in a new facility to discourage the visits of polar bears ...

Tourism officials in Churchill hope the closure of the dump will improve the image of the town and its bears. No longer will tourists see the bears at the dump, surrounded by burning piles of trash.

Says poley bear tourism operator John Gunter:

“If we can get more pictures and more video of clean, white polar bears on snow and ice, I think we’re better fulfilling the world’s expectation of what polar bears should look like.”

But they’ll eat each other! Because of the gloibal warmening!

Posted by Tim B. on 06/19/2006 at 11:45 AM
  1. Polar Bears: The Original White Trash.

    Posted by Mr. Bingley on 2006 06 19 at 12:01 PM • permalink

  2. The town had to do this. Otherwise, the bears would be coming right into the business district of Churchill, bumming cigarettes off of passersby, urinating on walls, and talking crazy talk to their imaginary friends on street corners. Besides, the garbage smell gets into the fur and ruins the pelts.

    Posted by paco on 2006 06 19 at 12:13 PM • permalink

  3. Who gives a rat’s ass about a bunch of racist white cracker polar bears anyway? I say let them eat garbage, the oppresive whitey bastards.  What about the image of brown bears, huh?

    Posted by Texas Bob on 2006 06 19 at 12:35 PM • permalink

  4. Nice to see “our” CBC staying on top of things, a week later:
    http://tinyurl.com/g5stg
    (There doesn’t seem to be an online version of the “Thursday” follow-up article.)

    Posted by andycanuck on 2006 06 19 at 01:22 PM • permalink

  5. Sorry, two weeks later.

    Posted by andycanuck on 2006 06 19 at 01:23 PM • permalink

  6. See!  Polar bears wouldn’t have to depend on sea ice if the Canadians weren’t so stingy with their garbage.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 06 19 at 02:52 PM • permalink

  7. Don’t get between a polar bear and his s’mores.

    Posted by Donnah on 2006 06 19 at 03:17 PM • permalink

  8. “If we can get more pictures and more video of clean, white polar bears on snow and ice, I think we’re better fulfilling the world’s expectation of what polar bears should look like.”

    Uh-oh. That sounds vaguely discriminatory against bears of color.

    Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2006 06 19 at 03:56 PM • permalink

  9. BEARS DISCOURAGED

    Even more so now…

    Major Call-Up of Eskimos for Duty in Iraq Could Cause Homefront Hardship

    Snippet from the article…

    Brown recounted a whaling trip about 10 years ago when a polar bear came within about 30 feet. Brown was about to grab his gun when the whaling captain told him to relax.

    “He said, `Don’t show no fear, don’t be scared. They’re like dogs, they pick up your scent and take advantage of your fear,”’ Brown said. The polar bear “just stood up, sniffed and walked away. Ever since then I’ve been teaching myself not to be scared, to show no fear.”

    Fox News

    Posted by El Cid on 2006 06 19 at 04:23 PM • permalink

  10. Anyone seen the latest cover story at Worth magazine (July 2006 issue)?

    Hot Opportunities
    AL GORE
    ON GLOBAL WARMING’S INVESTMENT POTENTIAL

    Posted by Dave in Chicago on 2006 06 19 at 05:45 PM • permalink

  11. Sounds like ecotourism gone amok.  Pretty soon they’ll be setting up artificial blow holes in the ice, bringing in the polar bears and seals and having them play predator and prey to show folks what polar bear hunts used to look like.

    Posted by saltydog on 2006 06 19 at 06:25 PM • permalink

  12. “If we can get more pictures and more video of clean, white polar bears on snow and ice, I think we’re better fulfilling the world’s expectation of what polar bears should look like.”

    What’s he gonna do - bleach them ? What a dickhead

    Posted by Rachel Corrie's Flatmate on 2006 06 19 at 07:54 PM • permalink

  13. bears at the dump, surrounded by burning piles of trash.

    I always suspected those bears might be having a hand in global warming.

    Posted by PW on 2006 06 19 at 08:16 PM • permalink

  14. “Anthropomorphic - ascribing human form or attributes to beings or things not human, especialy to a deity”  White Trash Polar Bears - QED!

    Posted by allan on 2006 06 19 at 08:40 PM • permalink

  15. clean, white polar bears on snow and ice

    I have several pictures of clean, white polar bears in blizzards I’d be happy to sell for the right price ...

    Posted by Achillea on 2006 06 19 at 09:00 PM • permalink

  16. clean, white polar bears on snow and ice

    Fact: polar bears are not in fact white, they have black skin, and their fur is actually translucent. If they are kept in warmer climates (like zoos) their fur can turn green from algae growth in the hollow “guard hairs” under the main fur. I’d sure like to see the look on an envirohugger’s face at the sight of a green polar bear.

    Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2006 06 19 at 09:45 PM • permalink

  17. On a related (sort of) matter.  Apparently there are a lot more Pandas than first thought. Interesting, now will the Wildlife fund look for a new symbol of a threatened species now that this one is no longer threatened?

    Posted by allan on 2006 06 19 at 09:45 PM • permalink

  18. Locking up trash always improves a town’s image.

    Posted by Dan Lewis on 2006 06 19 at 09:58 PM • permalink

  19. bears at the dump, surrounded by burning piles of trash.

    So the buggers are not only cannibals, they’re pyromaniacs?  This is like a Jess Franco porno movie, for crying out loud…

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 06 19 at 11:25 PM • permalink

  20. Poley Bears are so cute when they’re not killing or dumpster-diving.

    Posted by aaron_ on 2006 06 19 at 11:36 PM • permalink

  21. I quite like the sight of surly carnivores hunting amidst burning rubbish, it’s got a certain Mad Max ambience that’s sadly lacking in most documentaries.

    Posted by Daniel San on 2006 06 20 at 01:59 AM • permalink

  22. If only the polar bears would conform to our human needs!

    Posted by ushie on 2006 06 20 at 06:52 AM • permalink

  23. I’m still wondering how polar bear is, poley bears seem to like it.

    Posted by aaron_ on 2006 06 20 at 02:00 PM • permalink

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