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BAD FOR KIDS
Global warming hurts the little athletic children:
Longer droughts, hotter summers and less rain are leading to soil compacting. Compacted soil means more impact injuries, which is bad for sport, and bad for our kids.
So say the Canberra Raiders, a rugby league team supportive of today’s walk against warming. If impact injuries are “bad for sport” and “bad for our kids”, that’s it for rugby league; expect the code to be banned by 2008.
(Via Mole)
The solution is obvious. Ban all sport. You know, for the children.
Posted by Steve Skubinna on 2007 11 10 at 01:59 PM • permalinkThis is a step in the right direction. We need to rethink competitive sports completely. All children must score one goal. All games must end in ties. This will prepare our children for life in the real world.
Posted by Mystery Meat on 2007 11 10 at 02:00 PM • permalinkBTW, I have a BS degree in Plant & Soil Science (stop laughing, people), and I don’t think I’ve ever known of hot and dry conditions leading to soil compaction.
The heavy clay here in southern Ohio tends to get hard as concrete when it gets dry, but I’m not sure if it really counts as soil.
Posted by Rob Crawford on 2007 11 10 at 02:12 PM • permalinkTry playing rugby in Winnipeg in the summer. Bleeding knees from May to October.
The ground was like concrete.
Of course in those days (70s) the problem was global cooling.
Posted by Go Canucks on 2007 11 10 at 02:13 PM • permalinkWhatsamatta youz? You don’t have the technical know-how to make suites of padded hard plastic armor for your children?
Not only does the armor protect against ungentle ground impact, it also lets the kids hit like they mean it.
There’s no joy greater for a young man in the prime of his development than to get up after a tackle and see his prey laying there with unfocused eyes and snot bubbles growing from his nose.
Memories of the “gack, awaak, garrr” noises the freshly tackled prey make as they try to get their lungs to function again still gives me warm fuzzies.
Ahhh…. happy memories of childhood.
Global warming makes the oceans warmer, which makes Great White Sharks more aggressive, one of theses sharks was a featured character in the movie “Jaws”, which starred Richard Dreyfuss, who was also in the movie “What about Bob?”, which also starred Bill Murray, who was on SNL with John Belushi, who was in the movie, “Animal House”, which also starred Kevin Bacon!
Global warming causes Kevin Bacon movies!
Posted by mschraufnagel on 2007 11 10 at 02:49 PM • permalinkIt was mentioned yesterday but today’s the day in non-foreign devil time.
You know the drill by now.
On your feet! Ahhh-Tennn-HUT!
Haaand Sa-LUTE!
Readdddy TWO!
At ease and carry on.
Good night Chesty, where ever you are.Semper Fi.
Speaking of, there’s a show on Versus (South Sydney something) about Crowe’s acquisition of the team (kind of interesting that the ads are, oh, NRA and firearms companies, since it’s on Versus). Anyway, I was bamboozled by the first episode. Ball club is kind of old-fashioned here, but it means the team. I do not understand how rugby clubs work in Oz after seeing this. How do these people become part of the club, and get voting rights? Do they buy in, like shareholders?
Just curious. Professional teams are privately owned here.
Posted by rightwingprof on 2007 11 10 at 03:09 PM • permalink#13, Big Arnie:
The Raiders will probably continue to suck, year in, year out, until they get passed on to an owner that isn’t so much of a rabble rouser.
They do have occasional periods of excellence, but those seem to be more in spite of, rather than due to, the owner’s shenanigans.
Hey, Tim, when are you going to post a picture of the loving cup you won in the Blog awards? I assume it’s filled with these.
The kids will have to resort to Pole-dancing to keep fit. Although, it also, is not without risk.
Kevin Rudd will provide a free X-Box with bicycle generator so kids can stay out of that nasty sun…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 11 10 at 05:40 PM • permalinkKing Juan Carlos of Spain says, “Bring me the head of Hugo Chavez.”
Ok, ok, I made that up. But he did tell him to “shut up”.
Even if this were to be true, and it isn’t of course, then it would do us all good to acclimatise to these new conditions, especially the kids. Our bones will get stronger while training on this “compacted soil”. I’m not complaining.
Posted by The Best Infidel on 2007 11 10 at 06:48 PM • permalinkMany moons ago I played in an annual event at the Abrolhos Islands off the WA coast. It was a game of Aussie rules footy, north Island vs South. Playing seemed like a good idea the night before the game.
However given that the islands were just coral outcrops the game itself was a different matter. You dont want to fall down or even be tackled without a box of bandaids on standby.
Good fun, but I only lasted about 10 minutes before trying to scrape off an arm and retiring hurt.Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2007 11 10 at 07:02 PM • permalink#8 makes a fair point here, global warming will make the ground softer in really cold places, such as, uh…Canberra.
Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 11 10 at 07:04 PM • permalinkCome 2pm today I will mix myself a tasty G&T. Once that’s downed I’ll retire to the couch and Snooze Against Stupidity.
Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2007 11 10 at 07:16 PM • permalinkI’m sure you antipodeans will be shocked to hear that the Greens have been endorsed by the Australian Communist Party.
(Via Whackingday)
If we ban the children from playing sport, perhaps we can “use” them for sport.
I think it’s high time we brought back a particular Aussie favourite.
Kids would also be cheaper and in greater supply.
#14 m; Bacon is from pigs, which flatulate and cause global warming and thus we complete the natural circle of life.
Posted by dean martin on 2007 11 10 at 07:22 PM • permalinkBad news for those who admire dromedary pulchritude.
It is now 11am on the 11th day of the 11th month…....a minutes silence for the fallen…...........lest we forget.
Posted by surfmaster on 2007 11 10 at 07:59 PM • permalinkFor generations (and those today) tough enough not to be scared of skinned knees.
For The Fallen
With proud thanksgiving, a mother for her children,
Australia mourns for her dead across the sea.
Flesh of her flesh they were, spirit of her spirit,
Fallen in the cause of the free.Solemn the drums thrill; Death august and royal
Sings sorrow up into immortal spheres,
There is music in the midst of desolation
And a glory that shines upon our tears.They went with songs to the battle, they were young,
Straight of limb, true of eye, steady and aglow.
They were staunch to the end against odds uncounted;
They fell with their faces to the foe.They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old:
Age shall not weary them, nor the years contemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning
We will remember them.They mingle not with their laughing comrades again;
They sit no more at familiar tables of home;
They have no lot in our labour of the day-time;
They sleep beyond Australia’s foam.But where our desires are and our hopes profound,
Felt as a well-spring that is hidden from sight,
To the innermost heart of their own land they are known
As the stars are known to the Night;As the stars that shall be bright when we are dust,
Moving in marches upon the heavenly plain;
As the stars that are starry in the time of our darkness,
To the end, to the end, they remain.Posted by eeniemeenie on 2007 11 10 at 08:14 PM • permalinkCripes, any gardner knows that foot traffic’s one of the worst things for soil compaction, FFS!
Increased foot traffic in the Domain*? The maintenance staff will love that.The wetter the soil, the more compaction.
The pro’s would use aeration spiking, etc. on their fields, in any event.*Implicit hatred of mechanised transport, too - at least it largely sticks to ‘rights of thoroughfare’.
Extreme Greenies (such as Mr Knape, from previous) don’t even like walking paths in national parks due to the (little) disturbance that they cause).But if it gets colder and wetter,imagine
all the knee injuries as players slip.Lets just fucking ban everything and
die.Ps.After Gore’s GW scare,I just saw
a preview of a new film which is a
similar styled one about oil.I sometimes wonder if these films
aren’t government funded to bullshit
the public into submission and a willing
acceptance of higher taxes,more regulation
and so on.PPS. First gov to ban Windows Vista as a
resource chewing,fucking enviro disaster
gets my vote.Yiipe! Do people buy this down there? I spent a few months in Oz in the ‘90s. I usually got a good laugh reading about America in the papers there. My favorite line was when they said something like “They read Ayn Rand there” as if it were a bad thing.
But seriously, day to day man on the street believes this stuff?
Mwahahahaha! Cruise/Streep/Redford anti-war movie is box office napalm.
No more basketball!
That maple floor is harder than any soil I ever dove into.Posted by Harry Bergeron on 2007 11 10 at 11:49 PM • permalink53 - Great news indeed! I’ve seen the previews three or four times and that “What Will You ... For” routine at the end confirmed the movie’s place on my Do Not list.
Maybe those three obnoxius faces will disappear from the Blogads panel now… too much to hope for?
PS: ABC film reviewer Julie Rigg was less than enthusiastic this morning too.Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2007 11 11 at 12:49 AM • permalinkBrisbane’s Walk against warming could be a wash out. Unless they stopped before the rain started.
Posted by Old school on 2007 11 11 at 01:48 AM • permalinkKids? Who has kids? DON’T THEY KNOW WHAT THEY’RE DOING TO THE EARTH?!???!!!!
Rebecca is quite right. Anyone irresponsible enough to have children in this day and age deserves to have them injured on climate compacted soil.
Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2007 11 11 at 03:47 AM • permalinkLonger droughts, hotter summers and less rain are leading to soil compacting. Compacted soil means more impact injuries, which is bad for sport, and bad for our kids.
So say those
nightsoil experts the Canberra Afraiders. Shame they aren’t expert at League!!I, being a layman and follower of the MSM, understand that to express an opinion on anything, some old fashioned shit called KNOWLEDGE is no longer required!! So I say “Longer droughts, hotter summers and less rain are leading to soil fragmenting and blowing away to the Pacific Ocean. We will use non-polluting (ie Chinese made*) cushioned astro turf to cover the clay, resulting in less injuries, and a huge saving in fuel as mowing is no longer needed!!!
Carbon offsets can be got from Pacific Astroturf Consulting Operations
*We ensure potential customers we offer a lead-free, non- swallowable, totally ethical investment opportunity.
#63 Kae- they were the only four lines I knew. I was looking for them to post this morning and came across the full poem by Laurence Binyon.
I’m glad I did- it’s a beautiful piece of writing.
Posted by eeniemeenie on 2007 11 11 at 08:35 AM • permalinkI am so glad the ratbags picked Remembrance Day for their bullshit.
It just brings home to me the type of spoiled useless no hopers that bask in the freedom that was paid for in blood and pain by their forefathers.I like to think that the old Diggers are all sitting around the Heavenly Plasma Screen and laughing their guts out at what they fought for.
Posted by Pedro the Ignorant on 2007 11 11 at 09:59 AM • permalinkI like to think that the old Diggers are all sitting around the Heavenly Plasma Screen and laughing their guts out at what they fought for.
God bless ‘em.
Posted by rightwingprof on 2007 11 11 at 10:42 AM • permalink#67
Yes, but due to the greens and a bit of government incompetence regarding the provision of one of life’s essentials (H2O), we aren’t allowed to use them.#64
Eenie, I found it that way too. I always wondered about the rest of it.
Have a search for the poem “In Flanders Fields” it’s also very moving.Gack, gotta get ready for work!
Thanks JM H. A poem was read on a programme I was watching recently, written by someone who was in a war. It was very moving. I remember now, it was 60 Minutes about the Australian Light Horse and the Charge of Beersheba. (That’s right, how could you not have Aussies involved in a place with Beer in the name?)
The poem is in the Transcript and it was written by the father of one of the men (Jim Mack) who went to reenact the charge:LIAM BARTLETT: What makes you what makes you the proudest?
JIM MACK: Oh, I don’t know - just that he’s my dad I think.
“In those hills above the Jordan
is a spot that e’er will be evergreen within my memory,
ever fresh and near to me.”LIAM BARTLETT: While Rawdon Mack never much talked about the war, his touching diary entries give a true sense of the fear and sadness he and the other light-horsemen experienced. He wrote this poem about fallen mates.
JIM MACK:
“‘Tis the battlefields of Amman
wind spent* hilltops, drenched with rain
where the bravest men are sleeping till the dead shall rise again.
Till the last revally* sounding wakes us all on Judgment Day
then we’ll meet them and we’ll greet them
and together march away.”I wonder if there is more of the poem?
* swept, revallie
THE AUSTRA-BLOODY-LAISE
A Marching Song
Air - Onward Christian SoldiersFellers of Australier,
Blokes an’ coves an’ coots,
Shift yer—- carcases,
Move yer—- boots.
Gird yer—- loins up,
Get yer—- gun,
Set the—- enermy
An’ watch the blighters run.
CHORUS:
Get a—- move on,
Have some—- sense.
Learn the—- art of
Self de-—- -fence.
Have some—- brains be-
Neath yer—- lids.
An’ swing a—- sabre
Fer the missus an’ the kids.
Chuck supportin’—- posts,
An’ strikin’—- lights,
Support a——fam’ly an’
Strike fer yer—- rights.
CHORUS:
Get a—- move on, etc.
Joy is—- fleetin’,
Life is—- short.
Wot’s the use uv wastin’ it
All on—- sport?
Hitch yer—- tip-dray
To a—- star.
Let yer—- watchword be
“Australi-—- -ar!”
CHORUS:
Get a—- move on, etc.
‘0w’s the—- nation
Goin’ to sxpand
‘Lest us—- blokes an’ coves
Lend a—- ‘and?
‘Eave yer—- apathy
Down a—- chasm;
‘Ump yer—- burden with
Enthusi-—- -asm.
CHORUS:
Get a—- move on, etc.
When old mother Britain
Calls yer native land
Take a—- rifle
In yer—- ‘and
Keep yer—- upper lip
Stiff as stiff kin be,
An’ speed a—- bullet for
Posteri—- ty.
CHORUS:
Get a—- move on, etc.
When the—- bugle
Sounds “Ad-—- -vance”
Don’t be like a flock er sheep
In a—- trance
Biff the—- Kaiser
Where it don’t agree
Spifler-—- -cate him
To Eternity.
CHORUS:
Get a—- move on, etc.
Fellers of Australier,
Cobbers, chaps an’ mates,
Hear the—- German
Kickin’ at the gates!
Blow the—- bugle,
Beat the—- drum,
Upper-cut an’ out the cow
To kingdom-—- -come!
CHORUS:
Get a—- move on,
Have some—- sense.
Learn the—- art of
Self de-—- -fence.
(With some acknowledgements to W.T. Goodge.)Posted by s.r.intulom on 2007 11 11 at 08:29 PM • permalink
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Play down by the beach. It ought to get softer there.