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AVGAS

Flying really is an environmental hazard.

Posted by Tim B. on 12/06/2006 at 09:16 PM
  1. Which leaves all the jet-setting celebrity Greens exactly where . . . ?

    God, I love logic.

    Posted by Tungsten Monk on 2006 12 06 at 09:28 PM • permalink

  2. This is the terrorists’ new secret weapon.  She’s really a suicide bomber.  Or was it a chemical gas attack?

    Posted by EvilK on 2006 12 06 at 09:29 PM • permalink

  3. I’m waiting for Snopes.com to get to the bottom of this story.

    Posted by Harry Bergeron on 2006 12 06 at 09:30 PM • permalink

  4. Bloody aeroplane food.

    Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2006 12 06 at 09:31 PM • permalink

  5. How did the Zucker brothers ever miss that one?
    ‘I’ve got a loaded ass here, and I’m not afraid to use it!’

    Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2006 12 06 at 09:32 PM • permalink

  6. Bismillah! The towel heads have had weapons of mass destruction for centuries and they’ve never realised! Jeez, just load one of the faithful up with enough Kofta, baked Camel, Donkey and other assorted Middle Eastern treats, washed down with a good dose of Nile Water, let it ferment, put them on a plane and boom. Lululululululuulul

    Posted by Nic on 2006 12 06 at 09:41 PM • permalink

  7. That poor woman.

    Posted by saltydog on 2006 12 06 at 09:45 PM • permalink

  8. Nobody move. There’s a a BUM on board!!!

    Posted by Dan Lewis on 2006 12 06 at 10:01 PM • permalink

  9. Jeez, anyone who’s practiced the fine art of lighting farts could tell you how dangerous her actions were!

    Are airliner seats flame retardant?

    BTW, not implying I would know from personal experience….just what I’ve heard.

    Posted by rinardman on 2006 12 06 at 10:21 PM • permalink

  10. Since when have airline portions been big enough to produce flatulence?

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 12 06 at 10:23 PM • permalink

  11. Gives ‘tailwind’ a new meaning…

    Posted by cuckoo on 2006 12 06 at 10:49 PM • permalink

  12. As Sean Woodland might put it, what can one say? What can one do? This is what you might call a prime event; further comment would be superfluous.

    Posted by paco on 2006 12 06 at 10:50 PM • permalink

  13. #10 richard

    Since when have airline portions been big enough to produce flatulence?

    Well I’ve just returned from the States and Canada.  One flight was with AA, you have to buy your food, and nothing smelt out of the ordinary!

    Hmm let me see, the woman buys her flatulence inducing snack kipper (fisk), then lights a match!  Actually I don’t think this makes sense because the inflammable component would be too dilute to ignite.  Oh dear, perhaps it’s just as well she probably can’t better the 1993 Darwin Awards on death by farting and take out the whole plane.  Now that would be terrifying.

    More facts on farts for anyone who is interested.

    Posted by Wand on 2006 12 06 at 10:53 PM • permalink

  14. O/T, but the manager of the Carter Center has just turned a flame thrower on the Grandee of Georgia Goobery. Anybody else smell roasted peanuts?

    Posted by paco on 2006 12 06 at 11:04 PM • permalink

  15. Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your Captain speaking. Our in-flight entertainment system has broken down, and we will have to make our own fun on this trip. Following Dinner, there will be a fart lighting competition ....

    Posted by blogstrop on 2006 12 06 at 11:11 PM • permalink

  16. The big question in these airline security conscious times is ..... where the hell did she hid the matches?

    Posted by Justin on 2006 12 06 at 11:33 PM • permalink

  17. I don’t think I’ve ever seen the word “fart” in a newspaper before. Anyone have access to LexisNexis?

    Posted by surly on 2006 12 06 at 11:36 PM • permalink

  18. #16 Justin has just nailed it.  I feel like one of those clueless onlookers when Monsieur Poirot is explaining ‘ow the crime was done.

    Posted by cuckoo on 2006 12 06 at 11:43 PM • permalink

  19. #16, #18—It’s not a mystery, it’s Government regulations.

    It’s permissible to have matches on the flight, in reasonable quantity, i.e. one’s pockets don’t actually bulge; it simply isn’t permissible to light them.

    On the other hand, it’s absolutely forbidden to have a cigarette lighter, either on your person or in checked luggage. If the Terminally Silly Agency discovers one they will confiscate it.

    On the third hand, I have a propane-powered soldering iron which I sometimes carry in my (checked) toolbox. Its presence has never been questioned. On another hand (how many is that? I lost track), I have never lit a cigarette with it in the view of a TSA official.

    Discussions of “sense” or “rationality” are irrelevant wastes of time. It’s The Regulations.

    Regards,
    Ric

    Posted by Ric Locke on 2006 12 07 at 12:04 AM • permalink

  20. That’s what they get for banning aerosols in your carryon luggage.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 12 07 at 12:05 AM • permalink

  21. We were warned about reverberations, but did we listen?  noooooooo

    Posted by Achillea on 2006 12 07 at 12:40 AM • permalink

  22. This has caused further unneccesary complications for our brave air marshals as they will now need to carry cans of air freshener spray and those little scented christmas trees that hang from the rear vision mirror. Then again perhaps Richard Reid was only trying to burn of his foot odour. Most considerate chap.

    Posted by Penguin on 2006 12 07 at 12:41 AM • permalink

  23. Is that what they mean by the “Mile High Club”?

    Posted by andycanuck on 2006 12 07 at 12:48 AM • permalink

  24. How good was this vapour trail? Did the oxygen masks drop down?

    Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2006 12 07 at 12:53 AM • permalink

  25. These days, flaming off emissions is considered to be very environmentally unfriendly. I believe it’s politically correct to sequester your carbon emissions now.

    (ie, she should have taken an empty water bottle on board or something)

    Posted by Art Vandelay on 2006 12 07 at 01:55 AM • permalink

  26. (ie, she should have taken an empty water bottle on board or something)

    To save them or what?  Yikes!

    Posted by trainer on 2006 12 07 at 02:02 AM • permalink

  27. The moron wasn’t even using the restroom?

    Posted by egg_ on 2006 12 07 at 02:13 AM • permalink

  28. Sent the link to a work colleague who responded with a pdf of the infamous Seat 29E letter.
    Snopes has the story here.

    Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2006 12 07 at 02:26 AM • permalink

  29. Christ, Jean the Ripper, just gave the jihadi’s a new weapons technology.

    It didn’t say, but had she been wearing panty hose, the build up could have blown the damn flight from the “friendly skies” or on to Mars

    Countdown to ignition..5,4,3,2,1

    One would think, that corks will be issued henceforth, but then my God depending on build up…the damn cork could, well… that’s just to horrible to think of, or discuss.

    Posted by El Cid on 2006 12 07 at 02:37 AM • permalink

  30. Having just read my friend SwinishCapitalist’s link…all I can say is Paco, you must stop writing these things….:).

    Posted by El Cid on 2006 12 07 at 02:44 AM • permalink

  31. You liked that one eh, El Cid?
    Tell you what: nick over to you tube and look for “She Held It In.”
    Continuing the gaseous theme of this thread…

    Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2006 12 07 at 02:52 AM • permalink

  32. One of Larry-the-Cable-Guy’s relo’s?

    Posted by egg_ on 2006 12 07 at 03:19 AM • permalink

  33. If she’d only worn a burqa she could have fitted containers of potpourri under it, along with a tea service, dancing girls and two sheiks.

    Posted by Cat on 2006 12 07 at 03:58 AM • permalink

  34. Well, the lighted match trick must have worked. Didn’t hear any complaints about the original smell.

    Posted by SandiM on 2006 12 07 at 06:21 AM • permalink

  35. #26, oh yes, saving your emissions and burying them underground is the way of the future.

    Posted by Art Vandelay on 2006 12 07 at 06:22 AM • permalink

  36. I usually get seated beside people like Little Miss Flatulence.  I find it useful to carry a scarf scented with perfume and hold it up to my nose frequently.  On occassion I simply wear it around my head as a kerchief, Jesse James style.

    Posted by wronwright on 2006 12 07 at 07:05 AM • permalink

  37. #36
    Little ... not if she’s related to Larry ... that 6th burrito before boarding will do it every time ...

    Posted by egg_ on 2006 12 07 at 07:17 AM • permalink

  38. #36: Jesse James wore a scented kerchief? Man, that is so disconcerting. I suppose the next thing I’ll find out is that he hosted Tupperware parties and was President of the Pure Prairie League.

    Posted by paco on 2006 12 07 at 09:33 AM • permalink

  39. Sorry paco, but yes.  He also liked wearing his leather chaps without pants.  Let’s just say that he and his very close friend, Billy the Cute Kid, were the original Barebutt Brokeback Mountain story.

    Posted by wronwright on 2006 12 07 at 10:15 AM • permalink

  40. #39: Oh, man! I’ve always heard it referred to as the “wild west”, but I didn’t know that’s what they meant.

    Posted by paco on 2006 12 07 at 10:30 AM • permalink

  41. Stealth flatulence is one of the (many) unpleasant byproducts of advancing age. My 84-year old mother takes a dose of Beano before she flies or whenever she’s out in public for an extended period. And we’re all exceedingly grateful.

    Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2006 12 07 at 11:23 AM • permalink

  42. And heres lil’ old me thinking this thread was about Tim’s new Avgas powered Hoonwagon.

    Modesty prohibits me from describing the effects of the garlic laden sausages I have consumed this evening…

    Posted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2006 12 07 at 11:59 AM • permalink

  43. i am sure she will fight the long ban on flying with AA saying she is medically challenged or something like that.

    gastrofartoisis or some other made up name that none of us knew existed.

    Posted by artful-dodger on 2006 12 07 at 01:20 PM • permalink

  44. I knew when I opened this thread you guys would maintain the strictest standards of discourse. Bunch of gasbags, the lot of you.

    Posted by Gary from Jersey on 2006 12 07 at 03:54 PM • permalink

  45. #44: Oh, a high-brow, eh?

    Ok, boys, have you finished with that chili? On the count of three, let’s give Gary a fanfare of slide trombones. And a-one . . .

    Posted by paco on 2006 12 07 at 04:20 PM • permalink

  46. 45
    I’m from Jersey and we don’t breath what we can’t see.
    Chili?
    Bah.
    You should be here when Vinnie Goombazz washes up on the beach on a hot day.

    Posted by Gary from Jersey on 2006 12 07 at 04:36 PM • permalink

  47. Paco
    It was actually the “Wide West”; they were very inclusive. Standing tall in the saddle, what?
    “Have Fun, Will Trifle.”
    “No-Name City”?

    Cheers

    Posted by J.M. Heinrichs on 2006 12 07 at 05:00 PM • permalink

  48. #47: Well, then, cap’n, all I can say is I’ve been grossly misinformed.

    Posted by paco on 2006 12 07 at 05:02 PM • permalink

  49. Real men don’t use Beano.

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 12 07 at 06:57 PM • permalink

  50. I’m pretty sure wearing leather chaps without pants causes chafing.  Of course, that could be why cowboys walk the way they do.  No comment on the reverberations that resonate during said walks.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 12 07 at 07:22 PM • permalink

  51. Pull my jihad.

    Posted by andycanuck on 2006 12 07 at 07:26 PM • permalink

  52. ewwwwwww it was a “ceepee” a silent and deadly one!!

    Wooosh !

    Posted by 1.618 on 2006 12 07 at 07:52 PM • permalink

  53. #19

    We’re allowed to have lighters in carry on luggage - just not more than one.

    Posted by Janice on 2006 12 07 at 08:37 PM • permalink

  54. #52, Ahh SBD’s, theres nothing quite like letting one slip and then waiting to see who smells it first.

    ‘Coz after all: Whoever smelt it dealt it…

    Posted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2006 12 08 at 09:17 AM • permalink

  55. The smoke from an extinguished match is indeed specifically effective in cutting the smell of bodily gas. When I worked in the fabricating shop, there was always a matchbook in the john.

    Posted by triticale on 2006 12 08 at 09:36 PM • permalink

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