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ANYONE SEEN HOWARD DEAN RECENTLY?
A certain Vermont doctor might be stalking Ohio:
An unusual and noisy mystery has people in a small town north of Middletown on edge, worried and asking questions.
Liberty, Ohio, is a quiet little community, except for one thing—the scream.
Liberty is in Butler County, not Clark, so I guess that rules out any lycanthropic Guardian editors.
Actually Butler County is becoming fairly well developed with West Chester (the setting for a 2004 Bush rally attended by 45,000) and many other northern Cincinnati area suburbs. My guess is the scream came from the owner of the family minivan after filling up his gas tank.
A tick north of Appalachia? I’m not sure where Appalachia begins and ends. During World War II so many poor families moved to Ohio from Kentucky, Tennessee, and West Virginia that one can still believe he lives in the hollars back home. Drive through the communities in Clermont County (west of Cincinnati) or along the Ohio River and you can see what I mean.
Indeed, I would guess that many of the families in Clark County solicited by the Guardianistas are of Appalachian descent. Since their roots are Scotch-Irish-Welsh, they probably bristled after being told by their betters how to vote.
Posted by wronwright on 2005 08 21 at 09:55 AM • permalinkHere is an interesting fact. I was told by my neighbor who is an MIT graduate and probably knows everything that linguists believe that the “mountain dialect” of Appalachia more closely resembles the dialect of 18th century England than present day England. Apparently the insularity provided by the mountains and the lack of mobility enabled the people to keep their original mode of speech.
I have more interesting facts to give if anyone is willing to pay me big dollars for them. And that’s dollars, none of those Euro coins mind you.
Posted by wronwright on 2005 08 21 at 10:04 AM • permalinkOne last interesting fact free of charge.
The counties that surround Cincinnati (Butler, Clermont, Warren) have one other notable fact. They provided the margin of victory that enabled President Bush to win Ohio and ultimately the US election. One could reasonably argue that if a Presidential candidate can win those counties, he or she could win the 2008 election.
Even Hillary. Which will never happen as long as I can tell local Democrats that Wednesday, not Tuesday, is the day they get to vote.
Posted by wronwright on 2005 08 21 at 10:18 AM • permalinkThree straight posts. Well four with this one. OK, that should do it.
Posted by wronwright on 2005 08 21 at 10:19 AM • permalinkDrive through the communities in Clermont County (west of Cincinnati) or along the Ohio River and you can see what I mean.
Hey! I resemble that remark.
Actually, Clermont’s about 50% suburb.
Posted by Rob Crawford on 2005 08 21 at 10:54 AM • permalinkWell, it may be 18th century English, but it sure isn’t the English of Samuel Johnson. I’m thinking bargemen, border ruffians, and the odd cutpurse. Not that there’s anything wrong with that: my own people came over as indentured servants, having had their capital convictions reduced by the mercy of the King to “transportation”.
The reason we haven’t heard from Dean lately is because it is medically impossible for even a Democrat to be that much of an asshole all the time. The spleen hypertrophies and ruptures, and the brain shrivels to the point where autonomic nervous functions cannot be supported.
That’s why the Democrats have gone to a platoon system: When Dean gets frazzled, Pelosi subs in; when her botox wears off Durbin takes the pitcher’s mound; and there’s always Ted Kennedy to pitch relief the last couple innings, while John Kerry plays what we used to politely call “deep right field,” and stands out there waving his glove and piping, “Hit it to me! Hit it to me!” (Of course, he’ll drop it every time…)
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 08 21 at 11:54 AM • permalinkWell, they brought Sheehan up, but she still needs some time in the farm system…
(Scene: The DNC:
“This is great! We’ll put Cindy in the booth with Carter and there’s no way Bush can win in ‘08!”
“Uh, Mr. Dean…”)Kerry thinks he has a shot, but like Rickie Williams, he hasn’t got the comeback hopes he thinks he does.
As Bill Richardson demonstrated on Fox News this morning, most of the Democratic Dauphins only look good until you listen to them for five minutes (his solution to our immigration problem was to create a permanent brown-skinned underclass of legally-certified second-class citizens).
I think they’re really stuck with Hillary as their but she keeps ignoring the catcher’s signals (I think she has some kind of hangup about people on their knees). She is going to be a lot funnier than they think since they no longer control what people hear about the candidates…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 08 21 at 02:04 PM • permalinkurg.
“This is great! We’ll put Cindy in the booth with Carter and there’s no way Bush can win in ‘08!”
“Uh, Mr. Dean…”)I think they’re really stuck with Hillary as their closer but
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 08 21 at 02:07 PM • permalinkJafa—That’s what I’m tryin’ ta tell ya!
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 08 21 at 03:07 PM • permalinkPW—Dunno if you’re an American or not, but “deep right field” is the place where you traditionally put the kid who can’t field or hit woth a damn so he doesn’t screw up the team too badly…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 08 21 at 05:06 PM • permalinkOh, I forgot. As someone who played both games for years and loves them both:
Americans say cricket is baseball on valium, but I say baseball is really cricket on steroids…
You figure which one needs the chemical assistance..
The other day Test Cricket provided over 6 hours of continuous, riveting excitement down to the very last ball [about 550 of these], after four similar days of drama, all in the one game. And it was a DRAW..Neither Baseball nor even the Tour de France can supply that…
Hey, paco, my cutpurse ancestors weren’t all *that* odd, and the sheep thieves were totally normal, so there. I’d be careful who I call names, us hillbillies are sensitive, you know.
Posted by JorgXMcKie on 2005 08 21 at 08:23 PM • permalink“Hee hee hee! And Hillbillies want to be called ‘sons of the soil’... but it ain’t gonna happen.”—The Simpsons
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 08 21 at 08:33 PM • permalinkBarrie, as they say in American football:
“A tie’s like kissing your sister.”
(Tie = draw)
(Upside: You’re kissing an actual female.
Downside: It’s your sister.)Posted by David Crawford on 2005 08 21 at 08:35 PM • permalink
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He hasn’t run off to become a pro wrestler or similar?
(”...and in this corner, Howlin’ HOWARD DEAN!” “YEAAAARGH!!!”)