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AN AUSTRALIAN POPE
Bookmakers are talking him down, but at least one Italian newspaper supports Australian Cardinal George Pell for Pope:
Il Giornale, a national newspaper owned by the brother of Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi, praised Cardinal Pell’s communication skills and extensive travels in a feature on the 18 top papal candidates at the weekend.
Online bookmakers are rating Cardinal Pell as a long shot for the papacy, with the Northern Territory’s sportingbet.com.au more than doubling the odds to 101:1 over the past week, and Irish bookie paddypower.com ranking him at 50:1.
But Il Giornale said Cardinal Pell should not be written off. “The Archbishop of Sydney, George Pell, is the portrait of an outsider and the punters looking for a surprise win mustn’t disregard this athletic ex-football player, a born fighter on whom John Paul II depended a great deal and who is well regarded by bishops the world over,” it said.
Pell’s unique papal qualifications include that he was the football tipster on a radio show I co-presented a few years ago. Match that, Cardinal Dionigi Tettamanzi!
UPDATE. More on Pell here.
UPDATE II. This article incorrectly describes Pell as a former soccer player. Pell in fact played Australian Rules football, and signed to play for Richmond before joining the priesthood.
UPDATE III. Nic in comments: “Doesn’t Dionigi Tettamanzi sound more like a race car driver … ?” He sure does:
In 2003 he visited the Formula One racetrack at Monza, Italy, chatted with the drivers, mechanics and fans and even took a few zippy turns around the track in driver Ivan Capelli’s red Mercedes. He joked afterward that he has been known to go even faster on a regular road.
So, in order of preference: Pell, Tettamanzi, Joseph Ratzinger (“God’s Rottweiler”).
Hey, who knows? If anyone would have told me that an Australian would win the award for the best US college basketball player in 2005, I would have laughed at him.
Maybe this is the year for Australians.
Posted by wronwright on 2005 04 12 at 09:36 PM • permalinkI’m trying to wrap my head around the idea of an Australian in the Vatican. That would be incredibly cool. Probably drive the Europeans nuts, though, and with the state the church is in there that wouldn’t be such a good thing.
I wonder what name he’d pick? Hmmm…
/valiantly trying to resist making “Bruce” jokes.
Good lord! Bad enough you’re Bush’s deputy sheriffs, but now you’re a hotbed of Papistry, too?
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 04 12 at 09:59 PM • permalinkAn Australian Pope? Well, why not. I would also add that I hanker for the days when a newly elected Pope would assume the name of one of his predecessors from a distant era e.g. Leo, Innocent or (fingers crossed) Boniface.
But if Pell gets the gig, how could you go past Doug?
All hail Pope Doug!
Posted by Peter Hoysted on 2005 04 12 at 10:16 PM • permalinkUpdate on God’s Rottweiller, Cardinal Ratzinger:
Ratzinger, also ominoulsy known as the Grand Inquisitor for Mother Rome, has his own web site, or rather a fan club web site. The site has its own shop where one can purchase Cardinal Ratzinger T’s and caps online. You can also buy a cap with the simple word ‘Papist’ emblazoned on it.
As far as I’m concerned Pell has fallen by the wayside and my hopes now rest with Cardinal Joey Ratzinger. He’s the man for the job.Posted by Peter Hoysted on 2005 04 12 at 10:35 PM • permalinkIf he gets across the line, he HAS to go with Pope Bruce, anything else would be a travesty.
Posted by Harry Buttle on 2005 04 12 at 10:52 PM • permalinkMark my word, the new pope will be an Argentine.
Why? Because he’d be from Latin America, the most Catholic continent; and also, being from Argentina, he’d probably be of Italian descent.Posted by Honkie Hammer on 2005 04 12 at 11:04 PM • permalinkSo if Pell is in the running for Pope, does that mean that he’s only potentially infallible?
Posted by blandwagon on 2005 04 13 at 12:22 AM • permalinkOkay, we need to get this out of the way, now. So, if Pell does become Pope:
1) Sacramental wine replaced with Foster’s
2) Monks no longer known as “Brother ...”; now known as “Bruce”
3) Sheila’s can’t be priests
4) The Apostle’s Creed changed: instead of “I believe in one God, ...”, it’s now “Put another shrimp on the barbie, ...”
5) Crocodile Hunter guy becomes a saint.
6) Pope gets his own blog, with rabid administrator based in FloridaThat Catholic News article reminds me why I like Catholics.
Not only do they mention that Pell has firmed in the betting, but they give the odds and mention a couple of the bookies taking bets.
That’s what I call knowing your readership.
By comparison, a Baptist website wouldn’t even consider providing this type of information.
Catholics cop a lot of stick, but as religions go it’s very friendly towards a punt, a pint and a laugh.
Posted by The Mongrel on 2005 04 13 at 02:40 AM • permalinkA Polish Pope was strange, an Anglo would be amazing.
I wonder if such a thing is really possible.
There’s been an Anglo pope before - Adrian IV, aka Nicholas Breakspear. He gave Henry II of England lordship over Ireland. (Which has been disputed ever since).
Posted by Quentin George on 2005 04 13 at 02:44 AM • permalinkGood lord! Bad enough you’re Bush’s deputy sheriffs, but now you’re a hotbed of Papistry, too?
No, make that JUNIOR Deputy Sherrif :-P
(I’m surprised the ABC or SBS hasn’t tried to pull that one yet).
Posted by Richard_of_Oz on 2005 04 13 at 04:01 AM • permalinkCan I nominate AUSTIN POWERS for Pope?
Posted by Richard_of_Oz on 2005 04 13 at 04:02 AM • permalinkVery unwise to rule out Eddy McGuire at this early stage.
Posted by Astonished on 2005 04 13 at 04:28 AM • permalinkHK Monaro Popemobile? No way. No room in the back for him to stand and wave.
It’s gotta be a ute.
And Pope Pell will turn water into beer and there will be loaves of Tip Top white sliced bread and battered flake aplenty for all.
And all the saints’ feast days will be made public holidays and if they fall on a Tuesday we’ll get the Monday as well.
Listen, stop with the “Bruce” jokes. OK? It’s not like we had any friggin’ choice! (My old mum named me after the Bruce in “Forever Amber” ‘cause he was a real womaniser, and she hoped I would be too. If she wasn’t pushing 80 I’d slap her around a bit!) And what’s more, I owned an HK Monaro (327) when it WASN’T a vintage car! (Silver Mink - and I wish I still had it!)
My non brush with fame.
Cardinal Pell was seated in the box behind me at a Swans game with Mike Willisee( ex T.V. presenter). I’d had a few beers, the Swans were winning and I was ready to gush how important I thought his work was over an enthusiastic hand shake. I took pity on him and didn’t.
Now if I apply the Pilger effect to that non meeting , I would have kissed the ring of the Pope at Saint Peter’s square.Apart from the imaginary kudos of my imaginery brush with fame I hope the African Cardinal becomes Pope. Go where your future is. That’s what I reckon. To many heathens in the West, we’re in decay.
Anyway I’m off to betfair. I hope they’re running a market. Or will any one give me odds here?
Actually, the church missed a big oppurtunity by not making Cardinal Sin pope. I mean, that would have been perfect.
Posted by Mr. Bingley on 2005 04 13 at 08:37 AM • permalinkI’m not Catholic or Australian, so was it Richmond that produced Jack “Captain Blood” Dyer? Having the Pope on the books might be big-time penance…
Posted by chinesearithmetic on 2005 04 13 at 09:18 AM • permalinkI still like the idea of a Chinese pope. How peeved would China’s ruler be? I reckon they would be a bit scared too after the great work of the last pope, coming from a communist country.
Follow http://www.publiuspundit.com/index.php?cat=50
for more informationNah, you guys got it all wrong. Look, the next Pope is going to suffer by comparison to John Paul II, right? So, the cardinals need to choose a short-term mediocrity to fill the spot for a couple of years and take the heat for not being John Paul II, and then when he’s gone put in their REAL #1 choice, who will be compared favorably to his predecessor.
The cardinals’ choice for the next Pope is obvious. They’re going to pick George Lazenby.
Mmmm…
Communion wafers with vegemite.Posted by Bob in Feenicks on 2005 04 13 at 01:48 PM • permalinkJayC,
If I may add #7:
7) “Amen” replaced with “G’day”.
As for long shots, I like Cardinal George of Chicago. He has a baseball on his official coat-of-arms, along with the usual religious symbols. If George’s elected, expect the “Holy Holy” to be replaced by “Take Me Out To The Ball Game”, and the “Handshake of Peace” replaced with the Precommunion Stretch.
G’day!
Posted by Urbs in Horto on 2005 04 13 at 01:50 PM • permalinkThere’s also a guy from Montreal on the shortlist.
Posted by Kofi Annan on 2005 04 13 at 06:23 PM • permalinkDave S — I ran into George Lazenby at a celebrity-signing convention over here a while back. He looks perfect for the part of Seedy Colonial Planter now…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 04 13 at 07:57 PM • permalinkAn african pope would be cool. There aint no western style PC Christianity coming out of that continent.
Posted by Astonished on 2005 04 14 at 02:31 AM • permalink
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A Polish Pope was strange, an Anglo would be amazing.
I wonder if such a thing is really possible.