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AMAL SEES ALL
All news stories should begin this intriguingly:
Every evening Amal the octopus vendor looks on as sin returns to his beach.
"This is supposed to be a decent, family friendly site.”
It is?!?!
Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2006 10 21 at 08:04 AM • permalinkIf the author would go into some detail on the leggy sveltness of the beautiful blond sinstress, then he might land himself a job as a ghost writer for PACO, Inc.
Not that I work for PACO, Inc., or would have any say in their hiring and/or firing processes… but it is rather a hallmark of PACO, Inc. to not let talent wander around lose.
That is one of the saddest, most tragic articles I’ve read in a long time. That piece of crap religion just sucks the joy out of the life of its adherents, whether it does so by creating a horrible guilt towards one’s own nature, and therefore one’s very self, or cruelty and hatred for life and the joy of being alive. Or are those even different things?
Hang on didn’t tommyg assure us that this wasn’t the case in Egypt? Or perhaps he just didn’t see it as he had his head so firmly rammed up his anal orifice?
Posted by Just Another Bloody Lawyer on 2006 10 21 at 08:35 AM • permalinkI could be mistaken, but I thought that was the opening line from Pride and Prejudice.
Posted by Margos Maid on 2006 10 21 at 08:45 AM • permalinkI am wondering if both our societies’ real problems stem from the contemporary fad for “truth” - i.e., the fear of being called a “hypocrite.” In the past a certain amount of hypocrisy, though never acknowledged out loud, smoothed societal paths and made it possible for most people to get along. There was still plenty of “repression” and people with uncontrollable gonads or an inability to manage their time (and thus unable to have affairs discreetly and efficiently) suffered, but the public wasn’t slapped in the face with trashy public sex 24/7 either. Of course that is just the West—in a sense the Islamic world always seems to have been a kind of delicate hothouse culture that couldn’t stand exposure to anything alien. (I am not sure that the article writer’s claim that Islam had a more “open-minded” past is true.) But the whole situation just makes me think of the old saying “good fences make good neighbors.” In other words, there are things we really don’t need to know about each other.
But getting back to the “truth” fad—I guess this comes from the rise of psychology and psychoanalysis. This “science” was supposed to aid us in understanding human nature, but if you ask me the most hidebound medieval theologian—even the simplest medieval baker or farmer—had a better understanding of human nature than today’s average person with a brain confounded by several decades of psychiatrist-speak. No one before Freud would have even thought of using the word “repressed” to speak of a well-behaved human being, but we have learned that someone who can’t control their “urges” is a “free spirit.” Never mind that the constant need to have Great! Sex! at all times has left a generation of people haggard, wounded, and unable to relate to the opposite sex except as an enemy—the man in his apartment with his Xbox and internet porn sites and the woman in hers with her dvd of The Notebook, a tub of Haagen-Dazs French Vanilla, and a box of issues to wipe away her lonely (and angry) tears. But she’s on the Pill, just in case.
And that’s just us. The Muslim world seems to be trying to lean in the other direction. We have too much sex? Well, they’ll counter that with so much oppression that they’ll immolate themselves on the rack of insanity rather than be like us. The funny thing is, we and they are both reacting to the same thing: fear of sex and relations between the sexes. We try to defuse the power of sexual attraction by making the act commonplace, trite, and eventually, boring; they try to defuse it by punishing anyone who tries to get some outside of the strict confines of their increasingly intricate rules.
Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2006 10 21 at 09:15 AM • permalinkEvery evening Pedro the Ignorant looks on as the multiculturalists and their fellow travellers shitcan his country, curse him as a “filthy convict remnant”, and demand his taxpayer dollars to support the ingrates and their offspring forever.
That’s a real intriguing story.
Posted by Pedro the Ignorant on 2006 10 21 at 09:17 AM • permalinkI’ve done this. But I was 15 and sneaking out my window after my parents went to bed to make out with the boy down the street. a Right of Passage for a teenager, but pathetic for adults! And peoples desire to mate is a story as old as time.....why is the term “western excesses” used to justify this draconian behaviour.
During a lull in the submarine races, down at the Cornishe.
Achmed: Anyone care for some octopus on a stick?
Ali: That is haram, for it has neither scale nor fin! What are you, a Morrocan?
Farouk: Look, brothers, a woman without a veil! Bussy! Bussy!
Ali: The sinfulness of this place is unspeakable! Look at these couples in the shadows! Touching!
Farouk: Moistened lips parted, brushed fleetingly together ...
Ali: Yes, it is revolting! No man and no woman can be together without being accompanied by the devil! This the Prophet has told us.
Farouk: Check out that woman’s ankles! Hot!
Achmed: Ali, Farouk is getting a little agitated. Perhaps we should remove ourselves from this place of sin to somewhere less ... uh ... feminine.
Farouk: Acid! To dance the forbidden dances, in tight jeans!
Ali: Farouk, I am shocked! You would cavort with those Luti? You know, I am thinking we have all been working too hard, and it is time for a little vacation. Back to the old village in Bekaa, what do you say? We can pray in the mosque, play backgammon with the old men, herd the sheep in the hills, just like we did when we were carefree kids.
Farouk: Sheep!
Ali: Farouk, you have sex on the brain. You need to find a wholesome Islamic outlet for your frustrations!
Farouk, ruefully: I know, my brothers. Sometimes I feel like I could just explode!
Posted by crittenden on 2006 10 21 at 10:47 AM • permalinkHave you considered the possibility that “octopus vendor” means an entrepenurial octopus? That would not be haram, unless it was selling pork or booze or lingere’ catalogs. And it wouldn’t do that—octopi are very moral.
Posted by bad cat robot on 2006 10 21 at 11:08 AM • permalinkEvery time I read an article in which some western journalist has interviewed an individual referred to as ‘Amal the Octopus Vendor’, ‘Mohammed the Sand Realtor’ or ‘Achmed the Goat Fucker’, I just know I’m in for some stunning insights. Are used condoms filling Amal with frustrated rage even his octopi can’t abate? Has the price of sand with bits of rock in it gone up due to the machinations of the Ummah’s enemies? Have forces unseen absconded with Achmed’s most attractive and lascivious goats? Jews and homos will be found to behind it to be sure.
After all, to discover what illiterate muslim savages think about the confusing world around them is why we westerners constructed this global information super-network in the first place. That we can use it to also facilitate bombing the fuck out of them is a bonus.
A bit of a shame that Spiegel, in the name of selling some more copy (and El Ahl/ Steinvorth, in the name of getting an easy story past the editors) is willing to draw undue attention to some of these hard to find private spots.
Posted by pastrami44 on 2006 10 21 at 11:27 AM • permalinkThis is really so much happy horseshit. Trying to psychoanalyze Islam is like selling coal in hell. I think it’s as much the fault of the backwards cultural as it is of Islamic influence. Like tommyg I have met and worked with some delightful people in Iraq (who praise their wife and kids, work hard and are honest…. for the most part), but unfortunately (and unlike tommyg) I’ve met more seriously twisted men over here. They may say inshallah to this and inshallah to that, but I believe their cold, heartless nature stems from the culture. They’re brought up (in religious and secular families alike) to believe they are superior. The overwhelming majority of those I’ve dealt with just don’t like non-arabs. Their public perception of honor is more important than nearly anything else, lying is a form of communication, corruption is an acceptable business practice, and women are nothing more than an alternative to masturbation.
I have seriously tried to understand and accept the culture here, but it is beyond my abilities. You add Islam on top of all of this and you pretty much end up with the biggest shit sandwich you’ve ever seen.#17 crittenden
Thanks again this wonderful bit of writing
I love the trio Farouk, Ali and Achmed - and especially Farouk who would probably visit a pole dancing establishment before blowing himself up
Looking forward to the book and movie
Posted by aussiemagpie on 2006 10 21 at 11:54 AM • permalinkMuslim males spend their free time hanging out together?. With men whose culture frowns on taking baths removing one’s natural smells? Hours after hours? Days after weeks after years? Oh god.
Western males spend their free time with ladies they enjoy spending company with. Eating in restaurants. Walking hand in hand. Shopping. And playing rumpy rumpy.
I like spending time with the guys same as the next man. But I can only put up with that for a few hours. But give me a lady that smells of yellow flowers in the field in summer wearing diaphonous cloth and a little make up, and allow me to spend hours alone with her in increasingly greater degrees and positions of intimacy, then I’m one happy man.
And you can bet your knickers I wouldn’t fill up my free time thinking about carrying out jihad against the decadent west. Why worry about the West when I can cuddle with a 38DD breast?
(cue Ain’t Nothing Like a Dame from South Pacific)
Posted by wronwright on 2006 10 21 at 11:59 AM • permalinkFascinating article, in that it delineated the spectacular immaturity fostered by so much of Islam--the false sense of superiority, the dislike and fear of women, the homophobia (Gayness is a Western invention? Since when? I have a feeling some people have been gay since Ugh and Urk went mammoth hunting together), the fear of being shamed...it’s all so high school. Add weapons to the mix and look at what you got.
Oh, and thank you Texas Bob, for mentioning the burnt flesh and octopi connection. I feel my bacon rising up in my throat.
Never mind that the constant need to have Great! Sex! at all times has left a generation of people haggard, wounded, and unable to relate to the opposite sex except as an enemy—the man in his apartment with his Xbox and internet porn sites and the woman in hers with her dvd of The Notebook, a tub of Haagen-Dazs French Vanilla, and a box of issues to wipe away her lonely (and angry) tears.
Well said. I couldn’t imagine being a single man today in a world of false rape accusations and sexual-harassment absurdity.
Scenario One:
Boy meets girl.
Boy loses girl.
Boy gets girl.
Boy and girl live happily after.
Scenario Two:
Boy can’t meet girl.
Boy blows up everybody (see boy and girl above) and himself.
Boy gets girl(s) (he thinks).
Boy lives happily in eternity (he thinks).
Posted by SMGalbraith on 2006 10 21 at 12:34 PM • permalinkWonright ... "playing rumpy rumpy" .... hahaha haven’t heard that one.
Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2006 10 21 at 01:25 PM • permalinkA bit OT really
From a site on BBCnews
Anne in Birmingham asks:
When we see pictures on the television of people praying in mosques we only ever see men. Why are there no women? Where do Muslim women pray?Aicha says: “Muslim women do pray in mosques - but they don’t want their bodies to be seen as we do not want everybody to see our shape. Women who pray in mosques will mostly not want to be filmed."
Pathetic stuff and this is taken so seriously - in a Western society like the UK?
Posted by aussiemagpie on 2006 10 21 at 01:41 PM • permalinkWimpy Canadian, it comes from Blackadder. Everyone thinks my references comes from my law and accounting backgrounds, but that’s all facade. 90% of my citations come from Monty Python, Blackadder, and Keeping Up Appearances. I have high regard for Onslow’s take on things in particular.
Posted by wronwright on 2006 10 21 at 01:54 PM • permalinkActually I’ve been thinking about my last post about women in mosques not wanting to have their SHAPES publicised
Neither do I - until I get into that 18 year old shape I had when I was eighteen
Posted by aussiemagpie on 2006 10 21 at 01:56 PM • permalinkLet me see if I can boil this all down to its simplest terms.
Islam: Their prophet married and had sex with a little girl, and they have no problem with that. Sex with little boys is almost universal and accepted in the Islamic world. However, pre-marital sex or gay sex between consenting adults results in the death penalty.
The west: Almost the complete opposite of the above. (Pre-marital and gay sex between consenting adults pretty much results in a shrug and a “whatever”. Sex with little children results in years in a penitentiary where you are considered the lowest of the low.)
How we reconcile the two views seems like an almost impossible possibility.
Posted by David Crawford on 2006 10 21 at 02:08 PM • permalinkentropy: more like sloooow Saturday morning. But I’m beyond the age (thank God) where I worried about staying home on Saturday night—actually, I was never one of those people, I always preferred to stay home.
Texas Bob: ah, the Original Human Nature, barely brushed by our modern innovations. That’s what I think of when I hear all the post-Rousseauists complaining about the “fakeness” of Western laws, manners, and “repressions.”
Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2006 10 21 at 03:04 PM • permalinkPaco, I couldn’t care if you chain them to the oars of a Greek trireme. Just make a profit and give me a return on my investment.
Now that I think about it, I insist on you chaining them to the oars. Make them row for wronwright.
Posted by wronwright on 2006 10 21 at 03:04 PM • permalinkThis is from a soldier now in Afghanistan. I am not going to tell what his name is, or his nationality, because, after all, the Afghanis are our allies up there in the mountains. However:
“....the males there use each other for sexual pleasure most of the time. Females are only for making babies and they are not worthy enough to be used for sexual pleasure....there are some Afghans that work...doing odd jobs....they smoke every drug they can get their hands on and pass out on the roof when they are supposed to be doing security. Or they will come up on these guys and they are busy having sex with each other when they are supposed to be on look out.... the Afghan interpreter (who is in charge)... goes up and beats them with the butt of his gun....Hey Wronwright, remember when you snuck off in the Tardis that weekend, and you got stuck in a Roman slave galley, and the commander, Quintus Arius, recognizing your bad attitude, insufficiently servile, said, “No. 41, you live to row this ship ... row well, and live!”
Ramming speed, etc., then, after the ship got rammed and sank, you were on some wreckage with Quintus Arius, because you had rescued him, because that’s just the kind of guy you are, but you made HIM row, and because you’re such a smartass, you could help getting in a good dig, “You live to row this ship. Row well, and live!” Boy was he pissed ...
Then he adopted you and made you a Roman noble, then you went back to Judea and rescued your mom and your sister who were lepers, but they were nailing three guys on crosses, and everyone was worked up about it, and the clouds opened and the sun shone through and mom and sis’s leprosy was cured, but you just kept yammering about some Zulu spear and no one knew what you were talking about ... or am I mixing this up with something else?
Posted by crittenden on 2006 10 21 at 03:18 PM • permalinkOnly Muslims could screw up tentacle porn.
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 10 21 at 03:46 PM • permalinkCrittenden-don’t leave out the chariot race.
If wronwright hadn’t gotten that Bedouin tribal leader drunk on mead and stolen his team of prize horses, Paco (Professional Arabian Chariot-Oval) racing would have never gotten that lucrative advertising endorsement from the Hadrian construction company.
#11, Andrea & #21 Texas Bob:
You both make salient points. Our own society has made sex a frivolous thing by making individual life frivolous and value free. It comes from the kind of pseudo-self esteem that the multi-cult teachers think you can engineer by “giving” it to our children. Of course, one cannot give self-esteem to anyone. That is earned through the hard work of learning how to be effectatious in this world, of learning how to define and earn one’s values. The kind of thoughtlessness and emotionalism that leads to promiscuity can only end in misery for the individual. At least in our environs there is a chance for a person to come to their senses and learn about living and the importance of valuing oneself so that one doesn’t treat one’s being with so little respect.
But, as Texas Bob points out, tribalism and Islam leaves no such hope for one’s life. They are left with homosexuality and, much worse, inhuman beastiality. I don’t give a damn about people who are so thoughtless, who choose to enslave themselves to anything rather than have to think for themselves. They’ve already given up on life and worship death. They deserve no thought at all because they’ve given up their humanity.
What I find tragic is the individual living in such a society who cannot stand up to this inhumanity without martyring—truly martyring himself; the individual who is in danger of being murdered by the barbarians who surround him because he values his life and loves living it. We can make fun of the others, they deserve no better, but that man or woman who thinks for him/herself, who isn’t just engaging in salacious groping among the rocks, but must hide love because of the danger, deserves our recognition and a thought for their courage when they seek to live among such lunacy.
Having lived in various Moslem countries, I’ve always thought that a lot of their problems stemmed from sexual frustration.
Men who are so deprived of sex (including masturbation, which, Texas Bob, is even more shameful than illicit sex)that they find 70-year-old prostitutes attractive or are willing have to sex with donkeys or group sex with each other, all of which I’ve encountered in Turkish towns, are quite capable of religious fanaticism and the Freudian hysteria that that accompanies it.Well said, saltydog. Andrea, wise words indeed—please post more, and more often.
Would that “Shari-al-Hubb” become “Dar-al-Hubb”.
(say, maybe we’ve found the long-lost etymology of “hubba-hubba”?)
(also, I am pretty sure “both fins and scales” are laws of Kashruth, and not applicable to the sons of Isaac’s half-brother)
Posted by MentalFloss on 2006 10 21 at 05:28 PM • permalinkcrittenden,
I’ve never met a journalist that isn’t some limp wisted mamsy pamsy bleading heart socialist that wants to redistribute the wealth except for his personal paycheck which he thinks is far less than his prodigious talent deserves. Except for you of course.
That never happened! Well, for the most part. I don’t recall any galley ships, or chains or manacles, or lashes against my soft pale back. At least, not for months. Yes, I do remember vividly swimming for a piece of flotsam and then saving the life of that Roman—at risk of losing my own life. And the so-called ordering of that gentleman to row was, in actuality, a strong Al Gore alpha male taking control
of a sinking shipor no, let’s see, of a drowing situation, ooo no, that’s no goodof a really bad situation.And I really have no idea what you’re referring to when you mention the, you know, three crosses thing. I wasn’t there! What happened is I went into the bathes to get a sorely needed sauna, bath, and massage by Sythian slave girls. And I placed, in what I was told was a secured alcove, the Roman spear that a pretty nice centurion gave me for my secret personal collection of ancient weapons of mass destruction. When I came back to get my clothes, I found that someone has filched my spear. I immediately suspected Andrea but I discounted that, considering she was likely spending Saturday evening at home bitching at the skateboarders passing too close by her front door.
Taking charge which of course is my wont in life, I ran to the nearest assembly of people and I shouted “Freeze! No one’s going anywhere! I’m not losing my spear like I lost my Zulu one! Now we’re going to body search everyone here starting with the people I trust least. Are there any Jooos here?”
And well, I got my spear back. So I was happy. And, in the end, isn’t that what it’s all about?
crittenden, you really should save the fiction for the Herald. You’d fit in with the news section.
Posted by wronwright on 2006 10 21 at 05:44 PM • permalink#57 Kae, she was his first wife (Khadija), and she was also his boss. It was pre-prophet days.
It was only after she died that he really went off the rails.
Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2006 10 21 at 05:57 PM • permalink”...for those forced to live with the contradictions of the modern Islamic world.”
Which is far too many. The contradictions in our own world are all too apparent, with our media again on the ramp-Age. The inability of the Middle East to take the opportunity to reform is being spun back on the USA and Bush in particular. They are blameless, he is to blame.
With media like this, we don’t need enemies. I hope that the SMH, Age, and elements of the ABC all get taken down in the re-org.O/T - US bans Vegemite
The US has banned Vegemite, even to the point of searching Aussies for jars of the spread as they enter the country.
The bizarre condiment crackdown was prompted because Vegemite has been deemed illegal under US food laws.
The great Aussie icon—faithfully carried around the world by travellers from Down Under—contains folate, which under a technicality, the US allows only to be added to breads and cereals.
Australian expatriates in the US said enforcement of the ban had been gradually stepped up and was now ruining lifelong Vegemite on toast breakfast traditions.
Former Geelong man Daniel Fogarty, who now lives in Calgary, said he was stunned when searched for Vegemite while crossing the US border on a trip to Montana recently.
“The border guard searched our car and asked us if we were carrying any Vegemite,” Mr Fogarty said."I was flabbergasted. “The official said Vegemite wasn’t permitted in the US.”
In the Sunday Herald-Sun.
This could severely damage Australia-US relations.
Posted by walterplinge on 2006 10 21 at 06:21 PM • permalinkThis is O/T, but if the story turns out to be true, I’d have to say that it would make me a little riled at Ted Kennedy .
#69 Riled? Don’t get me started on the Kennedys.
The nut does not fall far from the tree!
Posted by MentalFloss on 2006 10 21 at 07:44 PM • permalinkIn his book, which came out this week, Kengor focuses on a KGB letter written at the height of the Cold War that shows that Sen. Edward Kennedy (D-Mass.) offered to assist Soviet leaders in formulating a public relations strategy to counter President Reagan’s foreign policy and to complicate his re-election efforts.
Negotiating with a foreign state on behalf of the US without the expression permission of the US government is a felony. Kennedy should be held to account for his actions.
Posted by wronwright on 2006 10 21 at 08:22 PM • permalinkThere’s no one currently in a leadership position in the DNC that couldn’t benefit their country by tying up a noose and stepping off a bench.
Amen, brother!
#70 MentalFloss: I had read somewhere of the old man’s anti-semitism, but can’t remember where; thanks for the details. Joseph was a vile man who might have spared us the ignominy of inflicting his progeny on our political system.
#56, I didn’t mean to be ageist, Skeeter, but having visited some of the clandestine town brothels in Turkey which are tolerated by the Turkish Government, I saw mostly bent old pathetic crones, not the strapping young women one expects whores to be. Nevertheless, there were still men queued up for their services.
4-1 Cards...paco, mind your blood pressure, eh? (ch 12 Foxtel down under, folks)
#72 That’s what I thought—but who’ll prosecute nowadays?
Oh, and leave us not forget this traitorous prick...(see if you can guess before you click):
...affiliated with VoteToImpeach, an organization advocating the impeachment of President George W. Bush. He has been an opponent of both Gulf War conflicts. “Impeachment is the most important issue facing Constitutional government in the United States. Impeachment will determine whether the American people will hold the Bush administration accountable for its High Crimes and Misdemeanors”.
...the founder of the International Action Center. It holds significant overlapping membership with the Workers’ World Party.
[he] and the IAC helped found the protest organization A.N.S.W.E.R. (Act Now to Stop War and End Racism).
In 2004, [he] joined the defense team in Saddam Hussein’s trial before the Iraqi Special Tribunal. [He] returned to Iraq in late November 2005 to appear before the Iraqi Special Tribunal arguing “that it failed to respect basic human rights and was illegal because it was formed as a consequence of the United States’ illegal war of aggression against the people of Iraq.” On November 28, 2005 in a BBC interview while defending Saddam, [he] claimed that some of the massacres which the former Iraqi President was accused of ordering were done out of necessity, saying: “He [Saddam] had this huge war going on, and you have to act firmly when you have an assassination attempt”.
On 18 March 2006, [he] attended the funeral of Slobodan Milošević. He has declared: “History will prove Milošević was right. Charges are just that, charges. The trial did not have facts.” He also described Slobodan Milošević and Saddam Hussein as “both commanders” who “were courageous enough to fight more powerful countries."
Bastard deserves a right proper tarring, feathering and lynching…
Posted by MentalFloss on 2006 10 21 at 09:29 PM • permalink#77 He is a veritable “poster boy” for the Democrap Party and their weasel ways.
Posted by MentalFloss on 2006 10 21 at 09:45 PM • permalinkMentalFloss
would have to be Ramsey Clark, and that is with out “clicking”.
Amazed that turncoat isn’t dead....another is Jimmy Carter, along with several others of the Left. You earlier mentioned Teddy...I still wonder at the resiliency of that fat bastards liver.
His ability to escape prosecution, is the same protective cloak all Dems, seem to have. Lie, obfuscate and have the backing of the Leftist Media.
Communism didn’t die when the cold war ended, it became Al Qadea like, splintering into hundreds of separate, yet connected cells.
#81: Yeah, you’re right. Some sloppy all-around play from the Tigers.
O/T, but we got our first letter today from Recruit Paco, Jr., Parris Island. Says it’s tough, but he’s hanging in there. Says, as it turns out, getting up at 4:00 am is the least difficult thing he’s had to deal with. Hasn’t been punished yet, but figures he’ll screw up sooner or later on something, though he’s not worrying about it. Spirits seem to be pretty good.
All the best to paco jr!
O/T again but viewers of ABC TV’s Insiders would have seen Andrew Bolt create a new fundament for smug head-wobbler David Marr on the subject of Marr’s complicit support for the homophobic smearing of Alan Jones.
I guess this is what you might call a win-win.
Posted by Margos Maid on 2006 10 21 at 11:33 PM • permalink#87, paco:
If you’ve got any reason to want to pull your son’s leg in a frightful manner (past misdeeds, wrecking the family car, etc etc..) just write him and let him know that you are organizing a letter writing campaign to his Senior Drill Instructor to ensure that he treats your son with reasonable care and consideration and isnt too harsh on him. Then let him know that his mom is planning on sending him weekly care packages full of cake, candy and cookies.
You’ll probably hear the screams of “OMG!! Please NOOOOO!!” all the way over at your home without need of electronic assistance.
#87 They’ll pick it up tomorrow, paco. No worries. My brother was apoplectic in the 7th (especially after that braod from Idol mised the high note, but he’s confident (this from an eternal pessimist).
Here’s hoping Paco the Younger doesn’t run out of spit (04:00 revellie, wash and shave, a LuckyStrike (or Camel), and then 20 minutes shining boots—that’s my recollection)
Posted by MentalFloss on 2006 10 21 at 11:51 PM • permalinkI just checked, and the answer is ...
it can involve pretty much everything!#89 Grimmy, the only thing I might add to the prank is that his Mom found his old “Batman” sheets, and is sendng them along. The Commanding Officer’s name, incidentally, is S.D. Hogg. Perfect!
#90: MentalFloss: I’ve always tried to serve as a sort of “object lesson” role model for my children ("Don’t let this happen to you!"), so maybe he’ll stay away from the cigarettes. He said carrying that M-16 around for hours every day was turning out to be great exercise.
Poor fuckers. Or, rather, non-fuckers.
Posted by Honkie Hammer on 2006 10 22 at 12:11 AM • permalinkPeople, you might want to know that the link blogstrop so helpfully provided is not safe for work. Or home. Or airports, internet cafés, and libraries.
Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2006 10 22 at 12:18 AM • permalinkAnd here’s my revenge: early tentacle hijinks. This is not your grandmother’s Hokusai!
Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2006 10 22 at 12:19 AM • permalinkAh. “Tub girl” claims another internet victim.
Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2006 10 22 at 12:29 AM • permalink#21, Texas Bob it might help if you understand that in that culture there is a hell of a lot of child abuse. this gives rise to a lot of that behaviour.
plus all the normal oppression and such.Posted by carpefraise on 2006 10 22 at 01:15 AM • permalink#47, at the risk of jumping on a bandwagon here, may i respectfully suggest that s/he is a dag on the end of the sheep, as are so many superfluous comments at the end of advertisements.
Here endeth my comment.Posted by carpefraise on 2006 10 22 at 01:34 AM • permalinkre tubgirl.
Ok i had to do it. yes it is extremely gross, but the girl on horse pictures are worse and that’s all I have to say about that except it was an Internet accident and that’s what happens when you link blindly.By the way, a little off-topic here, but has anyone noticed that extreme lefties don’t seem to mind acknowledging their own or others’ racism but when accused of anti Semitism they get very very outraged?
Does anyone have an explanation for this?Posted by carpefraise on 2006 10 22 at 02:10 AM • permalink#99 carprfraise, I see your point but I’ve never been a big believer of the perpetual victim syndrome. You can overcome ANY abuse if you truly want to. Its a choice and unfortunately has become an acceptable excuse. Your Honor, I abuse my children because my father abused me. Well, that’s too bad. Enjoy the next 10-20 with your new roomie, Big Bubba…
#22 - Does that mean we need to rewrite this classic line:
“I love the smell of napalm in the morning - it smells of grilled octopus”.
Posted by mr creosote on 2006 10 22 at 02:48 AM • permalink“Tub girl” claims another internet victim.
Once, and once only.
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 10 22 at 02:53 AM • permalinkOctopus vendor. Interesting occupation. I wonder if the octopus comes cooked or fresh. With chips (fries), tartare sauce with that sir? Tube or cut into calamari rings. Alive in tubs, and select your own like you do with lobster from the tank?
See, a whole new occupation to explore and consider setting up a franchise operation right here in Australia - Armal’s Octopus, it’s finger lickin’ good…
(what already used you say...)Way OT but I just saw on the news that the US have banned the sale of Vegemite.
So let me get this straight - you guys are happy to have Mexican after Mexican cross the border and claim welfare benefits but won’t allow the sale of Australia’s official condiment
I fear relations between the two countries could be about to worsen.
Well, I’m not going to look. I’ve been sucked into this kind of thing before by the perverts on this blog. There are some things I’m just not curious about.
The toadies wouldn’t scream for long if we started prosecuting treason. They do it now because they know they can get away with it. Let them bitch about it in the post-war discussions, when it can not longerget people killed.
Adding this little tidbit about Teddy boy to what we already know just puts the frosting on the cake. I’ve never understood how the people of Mass. could have reelected that piece of dirt (my apologies to dirt) after he got away with killing that girl. To think that the revolution started there! It’s past time to stand him up against the wall, with no blindfold or last drink. Bastard.
Just who the hell do these people think they are? Just thinking about Kerry, Kennedy and Clark is enough to send my blood-pressure into the danger zone. I can’t help but think that the Founders must spin in their graves at the thought of these traitors to the revolution. Spoiled brats at best, and bloody killers in reality.
And now for something completely different...no I won’t put it with the above.
NEXT…
Paco, all my best thoughts go out to you and your son.
As for the prank, you could add what my grandmother actually did when I went into the Navy: She wrote my CO and instructed him to make sure I got plenty of milk because she was concerned I might break a leg or something. Lordy, what’s a saltydog to do with such as that. It was hard enough for women in the military way back when the dinosaurs roamed the earth without letters from grandmas.
We had about 300 Marines come home from Iraq today. I love the homecomings! We said good-bye to them in March. I was surprised, but happy, to see them back so soon.
They all look so young still. A couple of the guys I know personally had filled out considerably--lost all the rest of those boyish skinny necks, etc. But they still look so young and beautiful to my aging eyes it almost breaks my heart.
Thank you for keeping us informed about Paco, Jr. Keep it up. It is greatly appreciated.
No sex, no alcohol, no kissing or cuddling. Muslim youth should thank western society for trying to remove the Islamic yolk of oppression from their lives. Holding hands in public is a no no but strap a bomb to yourself and kill innocent people and they worship you. What does that tell you about Islam.
It got the better of me. I couldn’t help myself. “Splosh!” - another tub girl victim.
Put’s real meaning to the phrase, “Internet porn, who’d want to watch that shit?”Posted by Whale Spinor on 2006 10 22 at 05:30 AM • permalinkGreat. I haven’t been in all weekend and first thing I have to do when I get here is click on blogstrop’s link at 92.
Just my luck, dinner’s spaghetti tonight.
It’s gonna be hammered spaghetti. Not taking any chances, me.Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2006 10 22 at 06:03 AM • permalinkWhy, oh why did I look at tub girl??? I am such a simpleton, I just couldn’t resist. Thanks Grimmy. I WAS going to go to lunch, but now I am going over to the chapel, pray and then kill myself…
That is the most disgusting thing I have ever seen anyone do to themselves.
NOTE TO THOSE WHO ARE YET TO BE SCARRED:
If you are even considering looking at tub girl, smash your left index finger with a hammer. That would be about half as painful as the effect that image will have on your brain.And, and I have to post five minutes before Texas Bob really makes the point…
Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2006 10 22 at 06:15 AM • permalink#66 I haven’t heard of any similar ban on Marmite yet.
Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2006 10 22 at 06:40 AM • permalinkAm I the only guy who hasn’t clicked the link? I wasn’t going to but now I feel an increasingly greater curiousity progressing to a compulsion.
No, I’m stronger than that.
(eye twitches)
Posted by wronwright on 2006 10 22 at 06:47 AM • permalinkWronwright - it’s your digestion.
I say no more.Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2006 10 22 at 06:57 AM • permalinkOkay, I’m intensely curious about tub girl. I’ve refrained from goatse man, courtesy of a description. Would even a description of tub girl be in order for those of us who have refrained?
Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2006 10 22 at 07:51 AM • permalinkI’ve managed to avoid Tub Girl, but only because I’ve already seen Andrea’s Not-your-grandmother’s-Hokusai. Wow. And I thought he was all about misty views of Mount Fuji.
Good luck to Paco Jr. My two oldest sons went through boot camp (San Diego) and I still have all their letters. One actually wrote about the training. The other wrote about food. Long, positively lubricious descriptions of what he was going to eat as soon as he got out, and a two-page list of stuff I was to have on hand when he came home on leave.
Re child abuse and Muslim lunacy. It’s possible to overcome an abusive childhood and not pass it on, but it’s a big help if you know what normal people are like - in fact, to have some clear idea of what ``normal’’ is. It seems that among the Muslims, ``normal’’ is...child abusing, along with treating women like garbage and generally demonstrating the self-control of a sociopathic four-year-old.
Re Vegemite: is it anything like Marmite? - because they still sell that in Canada, so an expat Ozzie having withdrawal symptoms might be able to order up a substitute.
Posted by Sonetka's Mom on 2006 10 22 at 07:58 AM • permalink#106
Texas Bob, to overcome abuse you have to have recognised you’ve been abused, feel it and determine to overcome it. Sonetka’s Mom’s point about knowing what “normal” is also important, gives the damaged something to emulate.
Like it or not, abuse in whatever form (and depending on the type of person it happened to) tends to result in grandiosity, closed systems, replication and general emotional effects (often drugs to kill the pain) or threats and damage in the external world.
This is not about excuses - often a lot of people don’t even know why they’re angry, esp. if they were abused as kids. Thank the phenomenon of repression for this and see Alice Miller for further explication.
Sam Vaknin’s good on the narcissistic angle too. POlitical ramifications are something else.Posted by carpefraise on 2006 10 22 at 08:14 AM • permalink#113 By the way Howzat...yolk of oppression? :)
The necklace of the ox just doesn’t do it anymore huh?
Posted by carpefraise on 2006 10 22 at 08:22 AM • permalink#123, there’s a description here if you’re that curious!
Posted by Art Vandelay on 2006 10 22 at 08:37 AM • permalink#127 Thanks, Art, I most definitely won’t be clicking on the link.
For something a bit different, this link is best viewed with sound on, and best be careful of who is within hearing distance.
It’s about kittens.
Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2006 10 22 at 08:59 AM • permalinkYeah, everyone knows that grilled octopus should smell like burning car tires.
Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2006 10 22 at 09:43 AM • permalinkOh and, um, guys? That kitten link. NSFW. At least, not with the sound on.
Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2006 10 22 at 09:45 AM • permalink#131, I like to marinate octopus in garlic, chillies, basil and olive oil (and maybe a splash of soy sauce) and grill it on the BBQ.
I’m thinking this wouldn’t be appropriate for human flesh. Perhaps a red wine jus?
Posted by Art Vandelay on 2006 10 22 at 10:06 AM • permalink#129 - well he is, but I don’t think I’ll send him the link
Posted by Whale Spinor on 2006 10 22 at 10:57 AM • permalink#134 Grimmy -
Now, all y’all. Dont be blaming me for that “tub girl” thing. I distinctly remember saying “Hey! Come here, dont look at this!”
Are you kidding? That’s the grabber line for every freaking late night commercial by Paco Novelties.
Posted by wronwright on 2006 10 22 at 01:09 PM • permalink#133 Andrea, part of the fun of that site is the surprise, hence not using the NSFW tag. I did try to give a hint though.
Even after 5 years or so I’m still not tired of that link and I near fall out of my chair everytime I view it.
Dunno why, but it makes my day.
Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2006 10 22 at 05:55 PM • permalinkWell, I think some people might not want to be fired from their jobs just yet.
Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2006 10 22 at 06:25 PM • permalinkHey now, to be fair and all, I didnt post a link to “tub girl”.
Tub girl is totally different from snake girl. You have to go to the main site index to get to tub girl.
I’m not saying that you should. You definatly shouldnt. But for those of you that thought you were looking at “tub girl” while actually looking at the girl and her snake things....it’s totally different. Trust me, you dont want to see it.
Really. Im not kidding. The last thing you should do is after clicking on the link to the girl and her squigglies would be to delete that part of the irl after /index.
Seriously, dont do it.
Likewise, El Cid, all cockroaches are male.
Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2006 10 22 at 09:07 PM • permalinkA sushi parlour I haunt has octopus balls as one of its specialties; my partner was aghast at such an idea, with octopi castrati slithering about, unable to procreate more of their kind. I made the point that having eight legs should indicate they have seven sets of bollocks, and could well afford to lose a few.
I’m a sucker for octopus gags.
BTW- who says Amal was selling said molluscs for consumption? Given the unsavoury habits of local males with lower species, the occies may have been marketed for recreational purposes- it’d sure explain the name of this critter, and adds more credence to the claim of Australias discovery by dhows.
#148 That’s why squid are sometimes referred to as “a fishermen’s friend”. Does tend to get lonely on the high seas.
If the internet has taught me anything it is that the following words should not be clicked; Tub girl, goatse man/girl, farmyard and Japanese girl. The Japanese are a most inventive and innovative people. They also make cars and electronics.
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2006 10 22 at 09:50 PM • permalink#147 Habib I’m a sucker for an octopus gag
Well, at the risk of seeming familiar, when we’ve never been introduced...I suppose the octopus gag provides more animated titillation than the ball gag…
Posted by carpefraise on 2006 10 23 at 01:54 AM • permalinkEvery evening Amal the octopus vendor looks on as sin returns to his beach.
WARNING: Don’t, don’t DON’T click on the supporting story. It’s far less interesting than the rich fabric of possibilities opened up by this fascinating introductory sentence. Just close your eyes and immerse yourself in the Adventures of Amal the Octopus Vendor and his daily struggle to make a living amid the squalor which surrounds him . . .
For instance, what does Amal feel as he looks out from his shop front and sees the daily parade of peccadillory? Is he married? Does he feel justified in working this location when he has to be a husband and a father at the same time? What does he tell his kids?
Has the constant smorgasbord of evil sullied his previously untainted palate? Or does his wife suspect that Amal’s ever-lengthening workdays owe themselves to an irrestible appetite for sleaze, even as he curses himself for his weakness as he peers from behind his buckets of eight-legged wrigglies?
And how do the other vendors feel? Will there be a commercial backlash? Or do the beachside shenanigans cause a healthy stream of dinari to flow into the coffers of Amal and his co-vendors? Will the increased business endanger the supply of the fragile octopus upon whose carcasses Amal and his hungry family depend?
Is Amal, in fact, a hypocrite?How can we not want to know more?
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That line would make a great entry into the Bulwer-Lytton fiction contest.
BTW from the article itself:
``The sexual frustration of many young Arabs has countless causes, most of them economic. Jobs are scarce and low-paying, and most young men are unable to afford and furnish their own apartments—a prerequisite to being able to marry in most Arab countries.’’
Another prerequisite is available young women. But what with women being murdered by their families in honor killings, and polygamists hogging so many others, the problem goes well beyond economics or the octopus vendor’s disapproval of couples snuggling on the beach.