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AL’S PEOPLE

Former presidential novelty candidate Al Gore has materialised in San Francisco:

When former Vice President Al Gore gave a long list of doom-and-gloom statistics Saturday about global warming—warning people that rising sea levels could drown out parts of Florida, Louisiana and Manhattan—there were no loud gasps or headshakes of disbelief from a roomful of Bay Area environmentalists.

You’d have needed a bank of supercomputers to count all the tilted compassion heads, though. (Don’t know how to do the compassion tilt? Here’s a guide: “Softly and slowly breathe in and out, in and out. Lower your head and tilt it to the right as you cast your eyes down toward your nose. As the Great Mother, regard the pain and suffering of your lost children.”)

Gore, who has made environmental activism a key component of his life since running for president in 2000, delivered an hourlong speech about climate change and global warming, which he called a “planetary emergency.”

“We can’t ignore it,” he told the packed audience at the Fort Mason Center. “We can’t put our heads in the sand.”

Because you’d drown, what with the sand being underwater and all. Due to the warming.

When he wasn’t presenting charts about rising levels of carbon dioxide in the Earth’s atmosphere or speaking about the ways global warming rapidly sucks moisture out of the Earth’s soil at high levels ...

“Sucking at high levels”. Could be the title of Gore’s autobiography.

The world’s population explosion, which by 2050 will reach 9.1 billion, has increased the demand for energy, water and food, he said, and has contributed to the problem of global warming.

Imagine the Gore family’s contribution.

He showed photos of rapidly melting glaciers in Antarctica and said that if half of Greenland and half of west Antarctica melted away, it would have a devastating effect on rising sea levels. Parts of Florida would be covered in water, he said.

Drain the Everglades, environmentalists complain. Add to the Everglades, environmentalists complain ...

“Is it only terrorists that we’re worried about? Is that the only threat that is worth our attention?” Gore said. “We are witnessing a collision between our civilization and the Earth.”

And then he bicycled all the way home.

Posted by Tim B. on 06/05/2005 at 10:01 AM
  1. I’m pretty upset with the Gorebot. He’s been promising me global warming for years and it still fricking snows in Virginia.
    I’m thinking of switching back to aerosol deodorant.

    Notice that the Gorebot learned his lesson though, no more global warming speeches in the winter.

    Posted by Veeshir on 2005 06 05 at 11:30 AM • permalink

  2. We are witnessing a collision between our civilization and the Earth.

    Many of us find the earth enormously convenient to have collided with.

    Posted by rhhardin on 2005 06 05 at 11:48 AM • permalink

  3. Gore’s a giant geek so I’ve always had a soft spot for him.

    I’ve always had these visions of him planning eco-friendly cities on the moon and feel nothing but love.

    Posted by Aging Gamer on 2005 06 05 at 12:01 PM • permalink

  4. Hmmm.

    The best Gore speech was the one in NYC on Global Warming.  Right on the day of a massive blizzard.

    Al Gore.  Bad timing.  Bad hair.  Bad ideas.

    Let’s nominate him for the Democratic Presidential nomination for 2008!  Hooray!

    Posted by memomachine on 2005 06 05 at 12:40 PM • permalink

  5. Aging Gamer — Well, since a Moon-eco-friendly city wouldn’t have any of that nasty, global warming, polluting atmosphere, population booms wouldn’t be a problem Population *pops* on the other hand…

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 06 05 at 01:10 PM • permalink

  6. Al Gore betrayed this planet—he played on our fears!!

    There are ominous signs that the earth’s weather patterns have begun to change dramatically and that these changes may portend a drastic decline in food production - with serious political implications for just about every nation on earth. The drop in food production could begin quite soon… The evidence in support of these predictions has now begun to accumulate so massively that meteorologist are hard-pressed to keep up with it.—“The Cooling World” - by Peter Gwynne, Newsweek; April 28, 1975

    Posted by zeppenwolf on 2005 06 05 at 01:39 PM • permalink

  7. I actually voted for Senator Gore for president in a Democratic primary in 1988.

    What the hell was I thinking?

    There goes my internet credibility (ahem).

    (yes, that’s a setup line: you’re welcome to respond).

    SMG

    Posted by SMGalbraith on 2005 06 05 at 02:25 PM • permalink

  8. The world’s population explosion, which by 2050 will reach 9.1 billion, has increased the demand for energy, water and food, he said, and has contributed to the problem of global warming.

    I think we’ve discovered the real reason for the left’s love affair with the likes of Saddam, Mugabe, etc.  People in mass graves are no longer population.  That’s the secret!  Large scale exterminations are Green!  Stalin may have single-handedly saved the world!

    Posted by Achillea on 2005 06 05 at 02:28 PM • permalink

  9. No offense to Orlandians, but will the parts of Florida to be inundated include that horrible mess that’s sprung up around Disney World?  That can only be a good thing.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2005 06 05 at 02:46 PM • permalink

  10. We are witnessing a collision between our civilization and the Earth.

    OT, but that reminds me of Douglas Adams’ instruction on how to fly: “Throw yourself at the ground and miss.”

    On second thought, it may not be so OT after all. It makes as much sense as anything Al Gore said.

    Posted by ErnieG on 2005 06 05 at 03:09 PM • permalink

  11. Well, according to Paul Ehrlich in the 1970’s, we should have passed the 9.1 billion mark years ago.

    Stupid swampys.

    Posted by Dave S. on 2005 06 05 at 03:32 PM • permalink

  12. We are witnessing a collision between our civilization and the Earth.

    And Gore must have hit the Earth head first.

    Posted by jorgen on 2005 06 05 at 04:23 PM • permalink

  13. Dave S.—And according to Gore’s own Earth in the Balance, the last species on Earth became extinct in the year 2000.  Gotta say, I leave a good-lookin’ corpse…

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 06 05 at 04:40 PM • permalink

  14. Al is not hepling the problem a lot, is he? I mean, look at all that hot air, er, CO2 he was spewing out!  Plenty enough to melt a half dozen glaciers.

    Posted by Mr. Blue on 2005 06 05 at 04:52 PM • permalink

  15. For a balanced view see William Kininmonth in today’s The Australian: “Climate change is a natural phenomenon” here.

    Also Leslie Kemeny on why Australia should produce base load using our own uranium instead of exporting it to France and Japan; an act which, if green pundits speak the truth, must be an act of gross hypocrisy: “Fix the nuclear paradox” here.

    Posted by walterplinge on 2005 06 05 at 07:34 PM • permalink

  16. Gore has become so extremist the only thing left for him to do is join Earth First! and bomb some suburban housing developments.

    Posted by Yehudit on 2005 06 05 at 07:42 PM • permalink

  17. Achillea,

    I think we’ve discovered the real reason for the left’s love affair with the likes of Saddam, Mugabe, etc.  People in mass graves are no longer population.  That’s the secret!  Large scale exterminations are Green!  Stalin may have single-handedly saved the world!

      Two words for you - “Soylent Green”

    Posted by SezaGeoff on 2005 06 05 at 07:53 PM • permalink

  18. As a dweller in the Hills district of Sydney (roughly 40k inland) I say bring on rising sea levels.  I could use the appreciation in land value.

    Posted by noir on 2005 06 05 at 08:57 PM • permalink

  19. Brent Bozell notes that AL Gore has serious problems distinguishing facts from fiction, so one might be permitted to conclude that in this case Al is in fiction mode.

    Posted by Louis on 2005 06 05 at 09:06 PM • permalink

  20. It is necessary to restrict our freedoms and give more power to the state in order to [blank].

    Once upon a time, [blank] was “achieve social justice”.  And then for a time it was “preserve the integrity of the white race”.  Now it is “save the environment”.  Fifty years from now it will be something else.

    But it will always be something, because there will always be gullible idiots who swallow the rhetoric of power-hungry sociopaths.

    Posted by TimShell on 2005 06 05 at 09:58 PM • permalink

  21. Yehudit — Only if they’re houses Day Laborer in Chief Carter helped build.

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 06 05 at 11:00 PM • permalink

  22. “Gore has become so extremist the only thing left for him to do is join Earth First! and bomb some suburban housing developments.”

    Which reminds me - how come Rush Limbaugh got blamed for Timothy McViegh, but Al Gore never got blamed for the Unabomber?

    Posted by Dave S. on 2005 06 05 at 11:20 PM • permalink

  23. Heh.  Rush has influence, Gore does not.

    Posted by Sortelli on 2005 06 06 at 02:55 AM • permalink

  24. I actually voted for Senator Gore for president in a Democratic primary in 1988.
    What the hell was I thinking?
    There goes my internet credibility (ahem).
    (yes, that’s a setup line: you’re welcome to respond).

    SMG


    Don’t worry - in 1988, Gore ran as the “least Left” candidate against guys like Jesse Kackson and Michael Dukakis. As I recall, he ran pretty strongly on being the first Vietnam veteran to run for President, even though all he did was sit in an office in Saigon and write for “Stars & Stripes”.

    Posted by steve68 on 2005 06 06 at 05:52 AM • permalink

  25. I too voted for Gore in that primary. To the best of my recollection he’s the last Democrat I’ve ever voted for. I lived in (non-Soviet) Georgia at the time, and didn’t really want Jesse Jackson skimming national campaign funds for his harem.

    As a native Tennessean I could tell you stories about the man whose father was referred to as the “Senator from Occidental Petroleum” by his colleagues.

    Posted by Some0Seppo on 2005 06 06 at 09:53 AM • permalink

  26. Hell, if Kleagle Robert Byrd of the Ku Klux Klan can be lionized by the Left as a stalwart defender of the Constitution and the American Way, then oilman and tobacco farmer Al Gore can be a defender and champion of Gaia.

    Posted by Dave S. on 2005 06 06 at 12:34 PM • permalink

  27. Good-lord Al’s gotten huge! He looks like a tubby William Shatner and he’s fatter than Clinton ever was - must be all that southern-fried tofu.

    Posted by -keith in mtn. view on 2005 06 06 at 12:43 PM • permalink

  28. Maybe Algore was influenced by this movie as a child.

    Then again, maybe not.  He could just be plain ol’ crazy.

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2005 06 06 at 08:42 PM • permalink

  29. Dave S.  — That’s oilman, tobacco farmer and nuclear lobbyist Al Gore.  He never met a TVA reactor project he didn’t like…

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 06 06 at 11:05 PM • permalink

  30. I understand that Al Gore was born exactly nine months after the Roswell crash.  Just sayin’ . . .

    Posted by Bruce Lagasse on 2005 06 07 at 12:43 AM • permalink

  31. SezaGeoff, it sounds like a modest proposal to me.

    Posted by Achillea on 2005 06 07 at 05:03 PM • permalink

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