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ADMIRE ONLY THE SLOW
Britain’s chief scientist (and senior joyless bastard) Professor Sir David King demands an end to admiration:
Women must stop admiring men who drive sports cars if they want to join the fight against global warming, the Government’s chief scientist has urged.
Note the appalling sexism. What of us men who admire women who drive sports cars? What are we to do?
(Via Andrew Bolt)
SIR DAVID UPDATE: “I drive around in a Toyota Prius.” But of course.
UPDATE II. Just for you, Sir Dave:
(Via the excellent Crossword Bebop)
What’s to admire about men driving sports cars? Most of them are flabby, balding middle-aged men with sunburnt noses and in the throes of divorce with pissed-off middle aged women who’ll soon learn they’re better off without the old buggers.
Posted by Janis Gore on 2007 12 19 at 12:25 PM • permalinkWhat of us men who admire women who drive sports cars?
Needless concern. In the brave new Islamic world that Sir David and his compatriots will one day welcome, women won’t be allowed to drive.
Posted by tim maguire on 2007 12 19 at 12:27 PM • permalinkDr Alice
You owe me a new monitor, sir. :^)
Yes, and I bet it is one of those that takes up a whole wall…lol.
Ummm, don’t be surprised if soon (like a bit later today) if you receive an email, from a terribly deranged Knight.
Please do think about what is in the email. Oh and fear not, I have big shoulders that I may cry on…lol.
WHEELCHAIR-BOUND GLOBAL WARMING EGGHEAD: Herr Sir Doktor David King iss right! And ze vomen must schtop admiring ze men mit der big muscles, yes? Und ze nice hair und ze tight buns. No, zey must admire der men vit der big brains, becoss ven ze Eart varms und ze zeas rise, it vill be ze schmart men who vill get to go to ze mountaintop bunkers to zurvive, und zey vill pick ten vomen each, zelected for zeir zexual characteristics vitch vill haff to be of a highly schtimulating nature.
AL GORE: I must confess, you have an astonishingly good idea there, Doctor.
WHEELCHAIR-BOUND GLOBAL WARMING EGGHEAD: Yes, mine Fuhrer!
El Cid, ya beat me to the punch!
I figure the old bugger hasn’t been laid since college…..and that historic event occurred only because his date couldn’t hold her liquor.
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 12 19 at 12:34 PM • permalinkwell, you know that the bigger the car, the smaller the (well you know)
The smaller the car that your run over?
Posted by joe bagadonuts on 2007 12 19 at 12:46 PM • permalinkWhat of us men who admire women who drive sports cars?
It’s okay, so long as they’re powered by carbon-neutral lipo-diesel, like this boat!
Liposuction, it’s eco-friendly!
Posted by Bruce Rheinstein on 2007 12 19 at 12:48 PM • permalink#14 Missred, what if you drive a small sports car?
Posted by Richard Sharpe on 2007 12 19 at 12:53 PM • permalinkSmall car more eco-friendly. Old engine less efficient. Only carries one passenger. More fuel efficient than big 4WD though.
*Aaaaargh…........ eco nutbag brain implosion!
Posted by Richard Sharpe on 2007 12 19 at 12:56 PM • permalinkWomen in sports cars? You gotta admire those ladies who who go topless.
Posted by Mystery Meat on 2007 12 19 at 12:57 PM • permalink#16: That’s a cool-looking boat, Bruce. So, in circumnavigating the globe, this boat powered by human fat would use like, what, one of Rosie O’Donnell’s buttocks? Or is that two trips?
From the article linked by Tim: “And he singled out women who find supercar drivers ‘sexy’, adding that they should divert their affections to men who live more environmentally-friendly lives.” Like . . .oh, I dunno . . . David King, for example?
“And he singled out women who find supercar drivers ‘sexy’, adding that they should divert their affections to men who live more environmentally-friendly lives.” Like . . .oh, I dunno . . . David King, for example?
Exactly, Paco. I think Dr. King dreamed this up while tearfully masturbating into a tube sock.
6 What’s to admire about men driving sports cars? Most of them are flabby, balding middle-aged men with sunburnt noses and in the throes of divorce with pissed-off middle aged women who’ll soon learn they’re better off without the old buggers.
I’m offended. My nose is not the least bit sunburnt.
(So I was stopped at a traffic light, and a woman in the crosswalk smirks at me in my black 02 Corvette and shouts, “Sorry about your penis!” I replied, “Sorry about yours, too.”)
#23 paco
Who ever thought that driving a Ferrari would become an act of political protest?
Posted by Bruce Rheinstein on 2007 12 19 at 01:16 PM • permalinkNot mine, but close. Eco-friendly 1.6 VW, but cooler!
Posted by Richard Sharpe on 2007 12 19 at 01:17 PM • permalinkOf course, Apostic, you’ll have to trade that sportster back in when that nubile new gal has the twins she’s been longing for.
Posted by Janis Gore on 2007 12 19 at 01:18 PM • permalink#26: Terrific comeback, Apostic!
#25: Right on the money, Dave. I think the guy’s just trying to work the whole notion into some kind of pick-up line. Or maybe an ad in the “personals” section of the newspaper (“SWK, looking for attractive female, 25-35, interested in: short, low-carbon-emission hops in Prius to climate-change events (e.g., Al Gore lectures); walks on the beach; intellectual conversation; howling, bed-smashing sex (preferably at your place, because Mom doesn’t go to sleep until kinda late)”.
#33 Huc, do you think you can get to this beach by taking an exit off the freeway?
Posted by Richard Sharpe on 2007 12 19 at 01:41 PM • permalinkOK, this is the perfect time to go only tangentially off-topic with my patented, fully-copyrighted, Sports Cars Are Not a Mid-Life Crisis rant:
A man does not buy a sports car in middle age because he is having a “mid-life” crisis. He does so because he has wanted a sports car since he was fourteen but this is the first time in his life he could buy one. See, first he has to go to college. Then he has to get married and save up for the down payment on the house. Then it’s mortgage, then some kids (braces, college), then the dreaded minivan for hauling the youngsters to hockey practice (more money) and so the wife can load up the groceries. Throw in the occasional china hutch and dinette set and absurdly-expensive “window treatments” and bedding sets - the poor bastard is lucky to buy himself some power tools.
Finally, the kids are out of the house, the mortgage is paid, the wife runs out of things she can legitimately say the house absolutely “needs”, and our poor bastard, after twenty or thirty years of slaying the dragon and spending the fruits on everybody else, can finally buy himself that sports car he’s been wanting all his life. And if he’s really, really lucky, he’s got a wife who says to him, “Sweetie, thank you so much for everything you’ve done for this family. You deserve this. And you look hot in that car!” (no matter how paunchy or bald he is, because lying is perfectly acceptable in this case). If he’s not lucky, he gets a derisive “Oh, this is Charlie’s mid-life crisis car” snort from a woman who should be on her knees thanking him.
(I say this for my oppressed brothers. I’m one of the lucky ones. No sports car yet, but a great wife who’s going to tell this short, balding, middle-age guy how great he looks in it.)
Fine, Dave S.
So you’re not my ex-brother-in-law who left a wife of 28 years and is now the minivan-driving dad of new twins. He did have to sell the Corvette.
Have fun!
Posted by Janis Gore on 2007 12 19 at 03:19 PM • permalink#27 Bruce
Who ever thought that driving a Ferrari would become an act of political protest?
Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 12 19 at 03:50 PM • permalinkHmmmm.
I have to agree with the man. Instead beautiful women must now admire men who drink coffee, eat doughnuts and sit at computers all days long like a veal being prepared for the table
Posted by memomachine on 2007 12 19 at 03:59 PM • permalinkBig Daddy Garlits and Cha Cha Muldowney, classic battles!!!
#16 That boat looks straight out of a James Bond flick….I can see No.1 making his getaway now!!!
Posted by Old Tanker on 2007 12 19 at 04:04 PM • permalinkSir David King Canute, more like it. Except he’s serious..
Posted by ooh honey honey on 2007 12 19 at 04:51 PM • permalinkThere’s snow on the ground now, but as soon as it’s gone I’m firing up the Z3 just to piss off this limp-shrimped wet blanket.
Posted by Jeffersonian on 2007 12 19 at 05:23 PM • permalinkDon’t get me wrong. I like middle-aged men. I dated middle-aged men with sports cars before I married—one had a cute little Alfa Romeo Spyder and the other that lovely ‘91 or ‘92 Lexus SC400.
It’s a damned shame we don’t have a convertible today here at the Redneck Riviera. It’s a great day to go topless.
I’m fond of the old buzzards with or without the cars, though.
Posted by Janis Gore on 2007 12 19 at 05:35 PM • permalink#41 Old Tanker
You’re right, it’s perfect for a Bond villain. And with the world’s supply of fat people there’s no danger of ever running out of fuel. Just open a SPECTRE lipo-suction clinic at the mall and they’ll get all they need.
Posted by Bruce Rheinstein on 2007 12 19 at 05:49 PM • permalinkI don’t drive a sports car, but neither am I carbon neutral. I drive a shitty old Ford which belches out enough carbon to make Al Gore blush.
Posted by Quentin George on 2007 12 19 at 06:09 PM • permalink#1 El Cid
Probably bang on target with that.
But I ask you, how can anyone get up to any mischief in a Pious? The back seat is practically non - existent. V8 Holden utes with swags in the back have seen a lot more post - B&S Ball pregnancies than the good Professors’ most feverish dreams, and sound great.
Um, the cars sound great that is, I wouldn’t know about any other sounds emanating from the back of them, of course. :)OT but it’s for Kae:
Well, the music is ...Cheers
Posted by J.M. Heinrichs on 2007 12 19 at 06:35 PM • permalink#51
Why, thanks, JM! That’s lovely.One day I’ll have a white Christmas… I love Bing singing that, too.
Living in Aus it’s a bit of a fairy tale to have a white, cold Christmas… Sometimes over here we have Christmas in July, because it’s winter (still no snow in many places) but we can have a traditional Christmas with wintry stuff.
Maybe people in the northern hemisphere should give it a go, Christmas in July, so you can see what it’s like for us Aussies to celebrate Christmas in the summer.
Thanks again!
K
#38
PS Dave, I envy you. And the missus.Sir David has a battery powered car. I’d wager his wife has a battery powered lover.
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 12 19 at 07:30 PM • permalinkKnow thy enemy, Sir David. These women ought be ashamed of themselves.
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 12 19 at 07:32 PM • permalink#60 El Cid
Ah, I see, when it comes to the truly perverse, ‘I must give you the road, Sir Knight.’ :)
I’m starting to wonder just how many of these chicken littles are doing their routine because they can’t get laid without paying?
“No dearie, I’ve told you before, c.a.s.h. That tattoo on my arse clearly says ‘no credit.’ That includes carbon ones.”
And you had better cough up for a room this time, that damned Pious had my thighs cramping for hours last time.”
:)“Did you know, if you stick your hand out the window, a Prius will turn?” —Achmed the Dead Terrorist.
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 12 19 at 09:16 PM • permalinkThe Toyota Prius link on this piece took me through to an interview with King, and it was another of those frustrating non-interviews where every question is a Dorothy Dixer. There are so many real questions that could be asked, and I want to hear what experts like King have to say. Surely they would have some kind of plausible comment on things like the apparent growth (rather than shrinkage) of ice in Antarctica and so forth. When will ever get a proper debate where capable people speak face to face and answer questions directly. Everyone seems to be avoiding real debate, and that’s not science.
But Heaven’s in the back seat of my Cadillac, let me take you there, yeah yeah ...
A ‘romantic’ Prius, c’mon ...
Ted Mulry would never have written Jump in my Car if he’d been driving a Prius. And Kit, the talking car, would presumably have had a whiny, nagging ecofeminazi voice if it had been a Prius.
#74 El Cid
Sicilian? Well, as a fellow Irish / Sicilian (Mezza Mezza), may I say “Buon Natale e Felice Nuova Ano!”
Oh, and “Pass the bottle son, God hates a greedy man”.#78 _Ash
I prefer dark blue, but a Holden just isn’t an Aston Martin, unfortunately. Although going by the number of points left on my licence, it’s probably good that I can’t afford one. :)85 185600
Sicilian? Well, as a fellow Irish / Sicilian (Mezza Mezza), may I say “Buon Natale e Felice Nuova Ano!”
Oh, and “Pass the bottle son, God hates a greedy man”.Ahhhh, an O’Paisan. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you, my friend and warrior.
Oh…I bought some Southern Comfort 100 proof, here take a swig.
Every time I see the car called a Prius, I immediately think of Priapus, the Greek god of painful erections. A wanker’s car. If you must drive a hybid car, try the 2008 Lexus LS 600hL V8 Hybrid. Hit the showroom floor yesterday, so the article says.
89: The all new lexus wants to save your arse!
The new long-wheel base sedan features a sophisticated all-wheel-drive V8 hybrid system, the first application of LED low-beam headlights and the world’s first anti-submarining in-seat airbag.
An airbag to blow your balls off - no thanks!
Pretty soon we’ll have the cocoon air bag system, which as soon as any part of the car is struck, will immediately fill the passenger compartment with 2 air bags, 1 surrounding the occupants and the second being the cushion effect.
ps this idea is hereby TM to me - hands off! promise to keep it a secret or paco enterprises security will be advised!
ps the KIWIS SUCK at cricket and can go home and claim the whole world chucks and cheats and we should have rested ponting, not gilchrist! and and! so there!
O/T (sort of) but the next time some wuckfit claims theres no correlation between Maxists and the greens chuck them this article here.
“Marx was an early greenhouse enthusiast!
Marx was fascinated by Tyndall’s experiments on radiant heat, including the differentiation of the sun’s rays.4It is even possible that he was in the audience in the early 1860s when Tyndall presented results of his experiments demonstrating for the first time that water vapour and carbon dioxide were associated with a greenhouse effect that helped to retain heat within the planet’s atmosphere. (No one at that time of course suspected that the greenhouse effect, interacting with carbon dioxide from the human burning of fossil fuels, might lead to human-generated global climate change — a hypothesis not introduced until 1896 by the Swedish scientist Svante Arrhenius.)
Today, the dialectical understanding with regard to nature-society interactions that Marx and Engels embraced is increasingly forced on us all, as a result of an accelerating global ecological crisis, symbolised above all by global warming.”
To think that someone actually believes this is a form of logic hurts my brain.
But what is the solution???“The only genuine, i.e., sustainable, solution to the global environmental rift requires, in Marx’s words, a society of “associated producers” who can “govern the human metabolism with nature in a rational way, bringing it under their collective control, instead of being dominated by it as a blind power; accomplishing it with the least expenditure of energy and in conditions most worthy and appropriate for their human nature.”
Sound much like a confrence held in Bali recently?
Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2007 12 20 at 04:56 AM • permalinkI used to drive a ‘57 Chev, two-tone brown and cream, 12 miles to the gallon, no power steering - a total dinosaur, but I pulled heaps of chicks by offering them a ride in it. Lots of admiring glances from guys as well; for the car I mean,although as I was benching my best at the time,and affected a James Dean look, with aviator sunglasses and white T shirt (sleeves tightly rolled to display the guns), I did consider myself the acme of cool.
Nowdays, I’m wiser and thinner and more PC about cars.
I wonder how we stand with Sir Wanksalot?
All of our current fleet would be classified as sporty, but unless seiously caned have frugal consumption of Gaiea’s gold, and lower emissions than a carbon-filtered colostomy bag.
Even the Little Woman’s shopping basket and critter cart is intercooler force-fed and runs constant AWD and a tiptronic tranny, but its thirst and guffs are positively polite and parsimonious compared to me on a baar and curry quest.
Even when you do give any of these velocipes the berries, they’re on the road for a lot less time than some sweaty, farting hippy on a rusty bicycle or weaving up Old Byron Rd in a VW that should have been decoked around the time the Chicoms poured over the Yalu- I reckon Sir Wang is a bitter old git with a tiny todger who can’t drive for toffee, with a crushing but well-deserved inferiority complex. A perfect environazi.
Make that beer quest- I firmly deny I have any Aetoroian genes.
BTW- have a gander at the King of no rock and roll- remind you of any local sanctimonious, smug, no-fun leftoid onanist? Two non-genetically engineered, free-range macrobiotic peas in an organic, collectively cultivated pod.
They may wind up in trouble with the likes of PETA though, if it gets out that they’re a pair of cruel shepherds.
Re #105
Marxists use the word “Dialectic” to make any of their particularly daft ideas seem profound.
Marx claimed his economic theory was a correction of Hegelianism where opposites are resolved into a synthesis where the original opposing concepts are left in tact.
Marx’s Dialectic was more along the lines of evolution where one model (economic) superceded and anihilated another (Capitalism wipes out feudalism etc).
Of course Marx used the word “Dialectic” (like in the article cited) - because it looked better.Posted by Toiling Mass on 2007 12 20 at 06:16 AM • permalink#35 well said Dave S.
It is a human trait to still admire those cars from decades ago, be they bug-eyed Porsches or elegant Mercedes-Benz 220se cabriolet circa 1960.
Sports cars are totally impractical for the cash-strapped family man. Forgive us our indulgences later, when we can do those things without damage to our nearest and dearest. I have my eyes on a Nikon digital SLR and a good lens. The family sedan will have to suffice - for now.#97 kae: Just saw a news item re Camden. I’m afraid too many of the locals didn’t do themselves, or their cause, any favours. No media savvy at all.
When will people wake up and stop bringing kids to protests? Not a good look, and even more stupid to allow a journo to shove a mic in your kid’s (about 8 y o) face and ask what the protest was about. Answer: “We don’t like muslims”. Playing right into their hands. Jeez!
One bloke did a lot better, though. He said if we go to a muslim country we have to toe the line and do things their way - in our country they should do things our way.
The general impression was of a bunch of ignorant, loud-mouthed rednecks shouting, shoving, swearing and threatening to bash up any “raggy” walking down the street. Good on, guys. Reeeal smart. Not.
#111- Saw some goofy-toothed retard on ACA who made Keyster Trad seem the epitome of suave urban sophistication, reason, savoir-faire, tolerance and intellect in comparison- not a good look, but I’d say the meeja would have cherry-picked their respondents to give the whole story that Little Rock in ‘57 ambience, rather than the facts- an ugly cult bent on world domination and subjugation of those regarded as inferior wants to open up an indoctrination centre in the middle of an enclave of its avowed enemies, rather like the SS opening a training facility in Tel Aviv.
O/T, Here’s a road test of the much-lauded Prius which raises the question of its resistance to the sort of weaponry that the barbarians of the wastelands will have at their disposal when peak oil tips and Earth President Gore banishes all unbelievers from the Green Garrison of Geothermia.
#49 -
V8 Holden utes with swags in the back have seen a lot more post - B&S Ball pregnancies . . .
B & S Ball? Is that Australia’s version of The Prom?
Posted by wronwright on 2007 12 20 at 07:26 AM • permalinkFor that matter, what is “swags in the back?”
Sometimes I wonder whether Amerikkkans and Aussies speak the same language.
Posted by wronwright on 2007 12 20 at 07:32 AM • permalinkflash swags can’t explain have to go, be back later, do a search for aussie swag
B&S, or beer and sex as they are otherwise known are fun in a “piss a kidney out the next day” kind of way. Usualy held at an old town hall or bush shed, including lots of grog, a band, girls in flash dresses, and blokes in rented or disposable suits.
The objective is to see just how pissed you can get and still pull a root.
My sister met her hubby, yes in a swag, yes on the back of a ute (married for ten years, first kid over a year AFTER the B&S) at I think it was the Muckiboodin B&S.
The morning after usualy consists of blokes cutting sick on the nearest paddock in the rented/dads/hotted up vehicle.Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2007 12 20 at 08:55 AM • permalinkBIWOZ
And the dickheads in Australian television produce “carbon cops” and wonder why they rate like shit. FFS thats a funny clip.
Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2007 12 20 at 09:04 AM • permalinkA Prius aint gonna do us much good when we’re mandated back to the stone age, Professor Sir Royal Highness Idiot.
Posted by dean martin on 2007 12 20 at 09:14 AM • permalink#105 thefrollickingmole
Thanks for that link - I have a committed lefty AGW true believer living with me and I need stuff like this to print and then leave out on the kitchen bench, next to the loo, on his pillow etc
Posted by aussiemagpie on 2007 12 20 at 09:15 AM • permalinkProfessor Sir Neuter better not see this one.
Posted by dean martin on 2007 12 20 at 09:44 AM • permalinkI’m eyeballing a big ole Ford Grand Torino around the corner. Looks like it should get about 12 feet to the Iraqi before the supercharger…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 12 20 at 11:00 AM • permalink#132- Just had my G4 powerbook updated with a replacement battery, superdrive and a 1Gb ram card fitted and it works like a champ, best 300 bucks I’ve blown in a while- I’ve also just bought a Mac Mini 2GHz unit from the US I’m waiting on to network with the other critter- the new Macs with the Intel Duo chips can run any Microsoft program but isolates them from the OSX systems so they can’t be fucked up when the porous windows software gets a trojan or otherwise corrupted (I only use Gates’ gibberish to access work related systems, as Australian Customs were incompetent and dumb enough to make their system only accessable with IE5.5 or higher, a terrible browser with more holes in it than grandma’s undies). Quite looking forward to see how Leopard runs.
Habib
I’ve been thinking my Core Duo was getting long in the tooth, but upgrading a G4? When my PBTi broke, I switched to an iMac.
You might consider giving the Mini a new look.Cheers
Posted by J.M. Heinrichs on 2007 12 21 at 12:00 AM • permalinkQuote dug up by Denny at Grouchy Old Cripple:
If you believe parking your SUV will stop global warming, then you might as well try driving a stake in your backyard to stop continental drift.
Cheers[
Posted by J.M. Heinrichs on 2007 12 21 at 12:03 AM • permalink#125 What’s pc about this? This is what I always think of when talking about the B&S.
I used to want to go to one, but thankfully never made it.
Link NSFW. Far from it - we’re talking Kevin Bloody Wilson.
Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2007 12 21 at 04:30 AM • permalink#147
Nilk, it’s not PC to call it a B&S particularly at the University (or near the wallopers), because everyone knows that B&S Ball is a euphemism for pissed to the gills and having thrown decorum, manners, morals etc to the four winds playing silly-buggers doing circle work in the ute and later rooting yourself silly.I’ve never been to one, either, but I can hear the annual beer-mud-and-fuck-fest from my place every October.
And I’m 7 k’s away.
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Sir David King
When was the last time you had SEX, Sir David?