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ABDUCTION SOLVED
As usual when the big science news breaks, an Australian is involved:
Weekly World News has learned from a respected scientific source that rescuers searching for survivors of the December 26 monster wave stumbled across a UFO half buried in the beach on Hong Island, a remote isle off the coast of Thailand.
The source tells WWN that the drowned corpses of two space alien astronauts were found in the saucer-shaped craft’s cockpit. Even more incredible, a human abductee—a Missoula, Mont., woman missing since October 31—was found strapped to an examination table in a water-tight chamber. The source says she was naked, babbling incoherently and was possibly a guinea pig for ghoulish experiments.
“The human survivor, identified as 27-year-old Wendy Carpsdale, has been airlifted to a medical facility in Bangkok,” reveals Dr. Robert Wilton, a leading Australian physicist with high-level contacts in the Thai scientific community.
The man is connected! Weekly World News has a habit of placing its various “experts” in Australia; there may be a few Australians on the WWN staff. Here’s more on Ms Carpsdale:
“She turned out to be a Montana schoolteacher who vanished on her way to a Halloween party,” says Dr. Wilton. “Her clothes, including the Martha Stewart mask she was wearing at the time, were found neatly folded in a cubbyhole.”
As asked in Futurama (paraphrase)
“How many atmospheres can the ship survive?”
“Well, since it’s designed to operate in space, I would say somewhere between zero and one”Posted by Secret Agent X-9 on 2005 01 29 at 01:03 PM • permalinkWell they can’t be Grey’s. We generaly travel in air tight spaceships.
Posted by Alien Grey on 2005 01 29 at 01:14 PM • permalinkRemember when they had that rash of UFO sightings rising from the sea? These guys shoulda been driving the ‘71 model…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 01 29 at 02:20 PM • permalinkSince the abductee was wearing a Martha Stewart mask, maybe the aliens were looking for some tips for redecorating their ship, or possibly some new recipes.
Maybe that’s the REAL reason Martha is jail. This is the only legitimate way for the Government to protect her.
But it’s puzzling why they picked up the fake Martha in Montana, and flew all the way down to Indonesia to interrogate her, when they could have stopped off in San Francisco (who would know?). Do you reckon they were looking for some sort of beach theme?
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2005 01 29 at 06:41 PM • permalinkBu$h lied!! Aliens died!!
Joe Vaills knows the truth!
All the Zionists are heading for Tasmania, “an obscure island south of Australia” .
It’s all about the OIIIIIILLLLLLLL!!!!!
Where does one obtain a Martha Stewart mask?
Rinardman — Damn, I missed that story. Can you post it? I respect good journalism, especially if there are pictures.
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 01 30 at 01:08 AM • permalink
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I love the “logic” of the WWN. Space aliens, with the technology to traverse interstellar distances, keep their abductee in the water tight section of their ship while they drown.
Not to mention the whole ‘if it can travel in the vacuum of space why is it not watertight’ question.