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AARON IS SCARED

The New York Times continues its recent series of childhood trauma reports (a trend also observed in the Washington Post and Sydney Morning Herald):

Danny Weingart said he recently spent a week standing outside his middle school with a sign encouraging classmates to ride the bus because of his concerns about global warming. If the more dire predictions come true, he worries that his favorite cities could flood.

His favourite cities presumably include Atlantis.

“Personally, I don’t enjoy swimming everywhere,” Danny, who is 11, said jokingly as he and more than 20 other sixth graders at Seven Bridges Middle School met in a technology classroom at lunchtime to discuss a weekend trash cleanup project.

Fewer than a couple of dozen sixth-graders meet in a classroom. This is sufficient to draw the attention of the New York Times.

Danny belongs to a school club called Kids Against Pollution ... For five days, club members car-pooled to the school by 6:45 a.m. and counted the number of cars entering and leaving the parking lot. They held up signs with slogans like “Hop on the Bus, Gus” and “Make a New Plan, Stan.”

Sixth-graders are referencing a Paul Simon tune released 33 years ago? And nobody put them up to this? Give me a break, Jake. By the way, here’s the massive sixth-grade uprising that led to the NYT’s coverage:

image

A staff of 1,332 sure comes in handy when big news breaks. Sadly, the pre-teen protest didn’t work:

The club fell short of its goal of reducing the number of cars driving to school each day by 50 percent, said Andrew Lafortezza, 11, president of the fifth- and sixth-grade classes. But he said that at a sports practice during the week of the protests, several parents said they had to drive their children to school because the bus did not reach them.

“That really shows that parents are aware of the problem,” Andrew said. “And awareness was another one of our goals.”

Awareness is always the goal when enviro targets aren’t met. Awareness is the participation medal of goals.

The club’s adviser, Mike Debellis, 34, a technology teacher at Seven Bridges for six years, raised the idea of a club to Andrew last October. Andrew responded enthusiastically.

Don’t blame Andrew. His teacher’s message was unbelievably compelling:

image

Who could resist? An environmentalist frenzy followed:

With a club core consisting of Andrew’s friends, word quickly spread, and pupils were so enthusiastic that Mr. Debellis had to cap membership at around 20 because his classroom was not big enough for all of them to meet during lunch periods.

Why, it’s an apocalyptic vision of catastrophic overpopulation!

Most members said they were worried about global warming. Aaron Kohn, 11, said that he had watched the movie “Waterworld,” about a future in which the polar ice caps have melted and most of the planet is underwater, and then researched on the Internet reasons the earth could flood.

When he read about global warming, Aaron said, he got scared.

He’s not the only one:

Sarah Jane Weil, 11, said she is an animal lover and was upset by predictions that in her lifetime polar bears might become extinct as a result of global warming.

Olivia Sacker, 11, said she used to want to be a veterinarian when she grows up but now wants to be an environmentalist because she is worried about the health of the planet.

Olivia is a future member of the shower police. Happily, not all students are buying into warmtherism:

“A lot of kids blew us off, some even flipped us off,” said Zac Gelfand, 11, the club’s president.

Get used to it, Zac.

Posted by Tim B. on 05/04/2008 at 01:22 PM
  1. Danny belongs to a school club called Kids Against Pollution

    Or as they like to be called… Teenage KAPo.

    Posted by Dan Lewis on 2008 05 04 at 02:20 PM • permalink

  2. These kids are citing one of Costner’s worse movies as a reason for worrying about global warming?  Lord, these kids need a new BS meter issued to them, one that works.  Or maybe they think that this is a real life documentary?

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2008 05 04 at 02:31 PM • permalink

  3. They held up signs with slogans like “Hop on the Bus, Gus” and “Make a New Plan, Stan.”

    Kiss my ass, wuss.

    Posted by wronwright on 2008 05 04 at 02:53 PM • permalink

  4. The public schools are racing to see which can create the most new reasons for parents to home school.

    Posted by rightwingprof on 2008 05 04 at 03:47 PM • permalink

  5. #3

    Suck my nuts, putz.

    Posted by Dan Lewis on 2008 05 04 at 03:50 PM • permalink

  6. Today he’s holding a “Take the bus” sign. In ten years he’s a college student demanding a gay studies major.
    In 20 years it’s “Will work for food”.
    In 30 years it’s “Stop the UFO cover-up!”.
    In 40 years it’s “Homeless VietNam vet. Please help. Bless you!”

    Posted by Merlin on 2008 05 04 at 04:10 PM • permalink

  7. What leaps to mind are the kids with the plastic baggies in “The Killing Fields.”

    Posted by bugscuffle on 2008 05 04 at 04:17 PM • permalink

  8. So Mr Debellis couldn’t ask the principal if his club could use the auditorium for meetings so that other children could join in?

    And what the hell tiny room could only hold 20 students and a teacher?  Are they forced to meet in the gym equipment closet?

    Posted by ushie on 2008 05 04 at 04:17 PM • permalink

  9. Typically one sided hit piece by the NYT.  Notice who didn’t get any coverage at all?

    That’s right, they totally blew off Kid For Pollution.

    Posted by Steve Skubinna on 2008 05 04 at 04:22 PM • permalink

  10. Re #3, #5:

    Drop dead, Ted.

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2008 05 04 at 04:25 PM • permalink

  11. "Olivia Sacker, 11, said she used to want to be a veterinarian when she grows up but now wants to be an environmentalist because she is worried about the health of the planet.”

    Smart girl. 

    Becoming a veterinarian would actually require years of study in the core “hard sciences.”

    Why do that when you can just “become” an environmentalist simply by watching An Inconvenient Truth and caring more about Mother Gaia than callous SUV-driving, polar bear murdering rightwingers like us?

    Posted by JJM Ballantyne on 2008 05 04 at 04:25 PM • permalink

  12. “A lot of kids blew us off, some even flipped us off,” said Zac Gelfand, 11, the club’s president.

    Sounds like paco’s kids go to school there.

    Posted by rinardman on 2008 05 04 at 04:26 PM • permalink

  13. What’s the difference between ‘blew’ and ‘flipped’?

    Suck my dick, um...Dick.

    Posted by Dminor on 2008 05 04 at 04:44 PM • permalink

  14. Awareness is always the goal when enviro targets aren’t met. Awareness is the participation medal of goals.

    I want you to know, I plan on stealing that.

    Posted by Teemo on 2008 05 04 at 05:07 PM • permalink

  15. Child abuse, again. And in school. Something needs to be done about that, too.

    Awareness is the participation medal of goals.

    Mediocrity is the benchmark of success.

    Posted by kae on 2008 05 04 at 05:19 PM • permalink

  16. The scariest thing about “Waterworld” is that Kevin Costner still has as career!!!

    Posted by nofixedabode on 2008 05 04 at 05:20 PM • permalink

  17. Make these kids walk to school, rain or shine, snow or sleet, one mile or five.

    That will put them on a first-name basis with Gaia.

    Posted by Harry Bergeron on 2008 05 04 at 05:25 PM • permalink

  18. What leaps to my eye is that weird figure in this:

    “Mr. Debellis had to cap membership at around 20 because his classroom was not big enough for all of them to meet during lunch periods.”

    Teachers are always bitching that budget cuts have led to larger classes, but when I was in school in the 70’s we had AT LEAST 30 kids per class - this was Staten Island, New York, somewhat south of Chappaqua in geography and ready cash. And now they can’t even FIT more than 20 kids in a classroom?

    Is this the result of childhood obesity?

    Posted by SoberHT on 2008 05 04 at 05:29 PM • permalink

  19. #17 That’s right Harry; this project needs a bit of consistency; next nyt’s headline in 30 years time:

    Tiny AGW cult lives without power under a rock; unemployed guru, daniel and his 17 children forage for nuts and toilet paper to line their gums. Daniel said through throstbitten lips; “that if mankind doesn’t change its ways, the ice will get even thicker.”

    Posted by cohenite on 2008 05 04 at 05:35 PM • permalink

  20. Damn those leftist anti-bullying laws.  They’ve gone too far.  In the old days those boys would have received a righteous beating and this nonsense would have been stopped right there.

    Posted by anthony_r on 2008 05 04 at 05:43 PM • permalink

  21. Awareness is the participation medal of goals.

    In the school carnival you got a point for just entering the event.  Awareness is more like getting a point for watching the event.

    Posted by anthony_r on 2008 05 04 at 05:48 PM • permalink

  22. Chuckle we may but the brainwashing and propaganda these kiddies are ruthlessly subjected to has repercussions.

    We (at least in Australia) are suffering the repercussions now of enviro-fads and fallacies pumped into primary schools kids in the 50s and 60s.  Why haven’t we got one single nuclear power plant in Australia?  Because in the 50s and 60s today’s decision-makers were told the world was doomed to a nuclear holocaust.

    Why haven’t we got sufficient dam capacity and chronic water shortages? Because in the 60s and 70s today’s decision-makers were taught that dams are bad and only silt up anyway.  I can pinpoint when that started: The Aswan High Dam in Egypt.

    Posted by walterplinge on 2008 05 04 at 05:55 PM • permalink

  23. "in the 50s and 60s today’s decision-makers were told the world was doomed to a nuclear holocaust.”
    Try the 1980s, when the doomsayer was none other than our Minister for Salvation, the uncoordinated rocker Peter Garrett, then on the outer edge of political extremism.
    Hysteria pays in the ALP.

    As for the terrified little kid’s sign, you sure it wasn’t “Make a New Plan, Satan.”

    Posted by Barrie on 2008 05 04 at 06:11 PM • permalink

  24. Having a look at little Danny I would be a bit worried about AGW too.  With skin tone like that he must need a powerful sun block.

    Posted by entropy on 2008 05 04 at 07:33 PM • permalink

  25. #23 When I was young and stupid I voted for the dome head when he was a senate candidate of the nuclear disarmament party.  My only excuse was I was young and operated pretty much in an emotional/hormonal state.

    And some people want to lower the voting age.

    Posted by entropy on 2008 05 04 at 07:36 PM • permalink

  26. Did Aaron say flipper the bird???

    Posted by andycanuck on 2008 05 04 at 07:39 PM • permalink

  27. OT What a way to go

    Posted by Margos Maid on 2008 05 04 at 07:42 PM • permalink

  28. One day Danny will realise he was lied to about global warming. He will realise that all the ridicule he copped for standing in the middle of the road with a stupid sign can’t be swept aside just because he was fighting the good fight. Not only did he look like a dork, he was proved to be a dork. The nasty kids who he thought would get their just deserts in the great flood will be living in beachfront mansions abandoned by those suckered into buying a Prius and heading for the hills.

    At that point Mr Debellis should be afraid, very afraid.

    Posted by Contrail on 2008 05 04 at 07:53 PM • permalink

  29. at some point these kids will figure out that they’ve been had. Carbon dioxide isn’t pollution, it’s a natural byproduct of life. Global warming is not going to wipe out humanity, and the oceans are not rising. Antarctica ice cover is at a record high.

    Maybe then they will rise up against their idiotic teachers who set them up for this pointless exercise. Maybe they’ll picket the local school…

    Posted by daddy dave on 2008 05 04 at 07:58 PM • permalink

  30. #28

    Not only did he look like a dork, he was proved to be a dork.

    Embarrassment is part and parcel of being a teenager. If it wasn’t this it would be something else.

    Posted by daddy dave on 2008 05 04 at 08:01 PM • permalink

  31. Aaron Kohn, 11, said that he had watched the movie “Waterworld,” about a future in which the polar ice caps have melted and most of the planet is underwater…

    Well, when I was 15, I saw “Escape from New York”, about a future in which Manhattan has been turned into a maximum-security prison. Instead, Times Square turned into Disneyland.

    When he read about global warming, Aaron said, he got scared.

    When I saw Adrienne Barbeau’s rack, I got wood. I suggest young Aaron concentrate on tits, like a normal boy.

    Posted by Dave S. on 2008 05 04 at 08:41 PM • permalink

  32. Give me a break, Jake.

    Tim you cynic.

    People wonder how Lenin/Stalin/Hitler/Mao/Fidel… were able to gain and hold power. The youth were corrupted. Goebbels would be proud that his theories are still been followed.

    "The continent of Atlantis was an island which lay before the great flood in the area we now call the Atlantic Ocean. So great an area of land, that from her western shores those beautiful sailors journeyed to the South and the North Americas with ease, in their ships with painted sails."
    Posted by stackja1945 on 2008 05 04 at 08:41 PM • permalink

  33. #22 Chuckle we may but the brainwashing and propaganda these kiddies are ruthlessly subjected to has repercussions.

    Well said.

    Posted by koko on 2008 05 04 at 09:26 PM • permalink

  34. #27 MM:

    Give peas a chance!

    Posted by Kaboom on 2008 05 04 at 09:45 PM • permalink

  35. How delightful. It’s Tom Brown’s Schooldays for fuckheads.

    Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2008 05 04 at 09:55 PM • permalink

  36. I will say “I suspect” to simply avoid the libel law suit that the New York Times is not lying, fabricating and inventing a “story”. Of course, maybe I should just go outright and call the NTYT fabricators. Why not. We all know they are.

    Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2008 05 04 at 09:56 PM • permalink

  37. #31 - I endured 2 and a half hours of that garbage just to catch a glimpse of her chesticles. It was worth it.

    Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2008 05 04 at 09:57 PM • permalink

  38. Re: The photo. Wouldn’t that be “Kid against whatever..”?

    Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2008 05 04 at 09:57 PM • permalink

  39. #35 I’d love to pull a Flashman on the little bugger, Infidel Tiger. (Hughes’s or Fraser’s version!)

    Posted by andycanuck on 2008 05 04 at 09:59 PM • permalink

  40. The other advantage of capping membership at 20, is to avoid the embarassing fact that no more than twenty silly kids were interested.

    Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2008 05 04 at 10:00 PM • permalink

  41. Olivia Sacker, 11, said she used to want to be a veterinarian when she grows up but now wants to be an environmentalist because she is worried about the health of the planet.

    Somweone should inform this little missy that there is no money to be made as “an enviromentalist”. Unless you can continue heaping B.S upon B.S,

    Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2008 05 04 at 10:04 PM • permalink

  42. Stackja perhaps we need to institute a new rule that the first person to quote Donovan in a thread loses.

    Posted by Francis H on 2008 05 04 at 10:05 PM • permalink

  43. #37

    #31 - I endured 2 and a half hours of that garbage just to catch a glimpse of her chesticles. It was worth it.

    Wasn’t there more of them on display in Swamp Thing?

    =^D

    Posted by Spiny Norman on 2008 05 04 at 10:44 PM • permalink

  44. # 29

    Oh, I’d pull a Flash on the little bugger, definitely a Flash. Frasier style!

    Posted by Mikael on 2008 05 04 at 10:56 PM • permalink

  45. Where’s your head-tilt, Milt?
    Mind your own biz, Liz.
    Go freeze in the dark, Clark.

    Posted by Paul Zrimsek on 2008 05 04 at 11:50 PM • permalink

  46. #41 Wimpy Canadian: "Someone should inform this little missy that there is no money to be made as “an enviromentalist”."

    I think there’s always a handsome quid to be made out of terrifying idiots and children, and apocalyptic environmentalism is a prime example.

    Posted by s.r.intulom on 2008 05 05 at 12:46 AM • permalink

  47. What’s next?  The NYT sending Paul Krugman to cover lemonade stands and bake sales?  (Not such a bad idea, come to think of it.)

    Posted by cuckoo on 2008 05 05 at 02:32 AM • permalink

  48. #31
    Planet of the Apes.

    last lines
    George Taylor: Oh my God. I’m back. I’m home. All the time, it was… We finally really did it.
    screaming
    George Taylor: You Maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!
    Posted by kae on 2008 05 05 at 04:09 AM • permalink

  49. About the age that Danny is in now, boys are bad with hazing.  Anything odd is focused upon and ridiculed terribly.  I once was subjected to such hazing when I wore a pair of argyle socks.

    And poor Danny stood outside meeting cars with a sign telling kids to take the bus?  Oh, it’s going to be bad.

    (gym class)

    Hold him down boys while I give him a whiff of some greenhouse gasses.

    pfffffffffffffffffff

    Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

    Posted by wronwright on 2008 05 05 at 04:50 AM • permalink

  50. When I was a kid, I saw Battlestar Gallactica. 

    I’ve been waiting for the Cylon onslaught for two decades now, and it still hasn’t appeared.

    Posted by mr creosote on 2008 05 05 at 06:22 AM • permalink

  51. I asked my 10 year old what he thought about Polar Bears disappearing.

    His reply?  More seal for me!

    *sniff* brought brought a tear to my eye

    Posted by joe bagadonuts on 2008 05 05 at 08:19 AM • permalink

  52. #30
    "Not only did he look like a dork, he was proved to be a dork.
    Embarrassment is part and parcel of being a teenager. If it wasn’t this it would be something else."

    Daddy Dave, at least when we were kids the only witnesses to our stupidity were our classmates, family and friends.  The internet now makes it possible for millions to stare and laugh.

    Posted by Crossie on 2008 05 05 at 09:08 AM • permalink

  53. Olivia Sacker, age 11, wanted to be a vet. Yes, well, so did my daughter when she was aged 11. Now aged 22 she manages a business, has much more sense and no longer wishes to save the world (except for the the 3-legged cat and the blind ring-tail possum that lives in our lilly-pilly tree) I wish I was kidding.

    Posted by mareeS on 2008 05 05 at 10:34 AM • permalink

  54. ...Mr. Debellis had to cap membership at around 20...

    It wasn’t so much that all the kids were worried about the poor polar bears or penguins, but being left out of the newest trend. Everyone wants to

    fit in
    . Yesterday, I encountered a couple teen girls who were wearing clothing with peace symbols. When asked what their definition of peace was, they were clueless.

    Posted by Deborah Leigh on 2008 05 05 at 05:24 PM • permalink

  55. Note to self. Always preview posts.

    Andrea, could you, please, get a techie (no doubt from Paco Industries) to look into this. Thank you.

    Posted by Deborah Leigh on 2008 05 05 at 05:33 PM • permalink

  56. Don’t these lefties and greenies understand the evil of using schools to inculcate political propaganda and religious beliefs?

    Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2008 05 05 at 07:23 PM • permalink

  57. A proper school

    Posted by Pickles on 2008 05 05 at 07:44 PM • permalink

  58. Part 2

    Posted by Pickles on 2008 05 05 at 08:14 PM • permalink

  59. Part 3

    Posted by Pickles on 2008 05 05 at 08:15 PM • permalink

  60. #56 Wimpy Canuck...lefties and greenies have no conception of evil or good - neither in schools nor elsewhere.

    Posted by Rod C on 2008 05 06 at 12:41 AM • permalink

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