Saturday, December 16, 2006
CERTITUDE IMPOSSIBLE
Niagara Falls Reporter editor Iron Mike Hudson is sticking to his plastic guns:
Neither Tim Blair nor any of his rather comical fans ... has any more idea of whether that turkey was real than I do. At this point, it is impossible to know, with 100 percent certitude.
In his column, Hudson was 100 percent certain the thing was plastic. Perhaps Mike will defer to the New York Times, Bloomberg, or the Los Angeles Times on this. Not that they’re particularly reliable, but evidently they’re a little sharper than a certain waterfall-based weekly when it comes to poultry analysis.
Some background for Hudson, who promises a Monday column on his online schooling: the very first report about this turkey caper noted that the bird was real. The plastic myth came to be through the fantasies of a British columnist, and was thereafter taken up by these muppets.
One more thing: ever since Mike threatened to come down here and smack me upside the head, I’ve been training with the elite Australian Cougar Arts Federation. Heed the words of instructor Barry Dawson:
A lot of kids come into our school because they’re wanting to kick someone’s arse. I don’t teach that. I usually instruct that you should kick the knee or groin. Then, when they’re on the ground, rolling around, you can consider the arse.