Monday, December 31, 2007
Can’t beat this:
My New Year’s resolution is to increase my carbon footprint to something resembling a small country.
Yes! To all friends, emailers, commenters, readers, lurkers and haters, the very best wishes for a truly carbontastic 2008. Consume with pride!
Australian actor Brendan Cowell opposes “the Bush pillage and profit machine” and ... oh, to hell with this. Just look at the guy:
DAVE SAVES DAVE
Hicksie pixie David Marr defends his man following criticism from George Newhouse:
Pointing to a number of anti-Semitic remarks in Hicks’s letters home, Newhouse said: “I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask Mr Hicks to renounce terrorism and anti-Semitism.” But he acknowledged they contained no threats of violence to Jews in Australia.
Well, that’s OK then. Meanwhile ... releasing David Hicks is racist! Shame on Marr and his whitey friends.
Sunday, December 30, 2007
We heard a whole bunch during the election about Labor’s broadband delivery plan, but we didn’t hear much about this:
Labor is committed to introducing mandatory ISP filtering.
It’s a little like satellite TV at the Flanders house; 230 channels, all of them blocked.
“A MAN WHO CAN LOOK AFTER HIMSELF”
Part of the enduring fascination with David Hicks, apart from his extraordinary combination of religious fanaticism, military adventurism and juvenile stupidity, was never having seen his face.
That face, according to a 2003 piece co-authored by fascinated Penelope, was “the human face of the fight for individual justice in this murky era of terrorism.” I wonder if the Indian soldiers Hicks tried to kill saw him the same way.
One photograph that made father Terry and stepmother Bev Hicks bristle every time it appeared was a posed shot of Hicks in Kosovo with a rocket launcher on his shoulder.
Count your blessings, Terry and Bev. That shot wouldn’t have appeared half as often if there were any pics of Dave meeting Osama bin Laden.
The other photos, faded snaps of a youth in a fair isle jumper or blue T-shirt, became increasingly meaningless over time as reports began to emerge of the physical toll Hicks’ incarceration was having on him ...
It was only after he was shifted to solitary confinement that the real deterioration began. After two years, reports filtered out of Hicks’ decline. Unable to exercise, he was putting on weight ...
Whoa! Lady Penelope is rewriting history. The earliest (and subsequent) reports indicated that Hicks had lost weight, not that he was being stuffed with pies and locked out of the gym. From Hicks’s 2004 affidavit: “At one point during 2003 alone, my weight dropped by 30 pounds (and I was not overweight to start).” In November 2003, the ABC reported: “Terry Hicks says after receiving the letter [from David], and news that his son’s weight has fallen to less than 60 kilograms, his family are increasingly concerned for their son’s welfare.” (Interestingly, one month later Terry Hicks told the ABC his son’s mental condition was “absolutely brilliant”, he’d had a hernia operation, he was “very fit” ... and that he’d received “chocolates and vegemite.” There’s your weight-gain root cause, Penelope.)
The myth of scrawny Dave persisted for years, boosted by claims from his lawyers: “This identikit of an aged and emaciated David Hicks has shocked the accused terrorist’s supporters, who now fear for his health. The image is based on a description by Hicks’s lawyer [David McLeod], who met the detainee a week ago.” Another Hicks lawyer, Major Michael Mori, said in 2006 that Hicks had “lost a lot of weight. I think the weight loss is part of his loss of appetite, just coming on from his ... depression manifesting itself in that way.” It made Ray Martin ashamed. Back to Penelope:
Just before he was due to appear before the US military commissions early this year, he was all but a broken man: unshaven, unsociable, untrusting of anyone but his lawyers, and so dehumanised he had grown his hair long so he could pull it over his eyes at night to shield them from the lights.
“Just before he was due to appear”? Penelope avoids Hicks’s actual commission appearance, at which reporters were present. One account: “He’s put on a considerable amount of weight, he’s almost verging on chubby. Now he was always a stockier build, he’s only five foot two, but he was looking distinctly beefy ...” And another: “He did not look unhealthy and certainly not ‘gaunt’ or ‘hollowed cheeked’ as his legal team have described him in recent months.” Ignoring these reports, Penelope feigns surprise when fat ’n’ sleek Dave walks out of Yatala prison:
To finally see David Hicks in the flesh was a relief. His face was smooth and broad, his hair — possibly dyed to make him less recognisable down the track — was long and brushed back. His face looked broad and a bit puffy, but overall he seemed not in bad shape.
What did she expect - a Belsen survivor? You’d imagine someone so invested in a story that they felt “relief” when the subject emerged without having gnawed off his own fingers for nourishment might have noticed the occasional item placing his mass somewhere above that of an Olsen twin. Quickly adapting to the New Dave, Penelope finds virtue:
What was most striking was how much he looked like the man Australia has come to know well: his father, Terry. They share the same piercing eyes, the same stocky stature and slight swagger that suggests here is a man who may be short but who, when pushed, can look after himself.
Remarkable. She’s talking about someone who trained to kill opponents of Islam, and who once wrote: “The western society is controlled by the Jews with music, TV, houses, cars, free sex ... the Jews have complete financial and media control many of them are in the Australian government.” And the love don’t end there:
Given the fearlessness Terry Hicks has shown in the past six years, including protesting on a New York pavement in a mock-up of a Guantanamo cell, perhaps those similarities should have been no surprise.
Those Hicks genes are strong. Odd, though, that Dave is now frightened of Islamic extremists. Maybe he thinks they’ll feed him too much.
Global warming sure is clever. It knows where conservatives live, so it can precisely direct flooding their way. And it has an unerring ability to destroy things we like while increasing the number of things we don’t like. Just look at this global warming hit list:
• Pinot Noir
• Christmas trees
• Fly fishing
• Lobster dinners
• French fries
• Koalas, polar bears, whales, penguins, frogs and walruses
Wily old global warming doesn’t stop there, though. After demolishing the planet’s booze, food, recreation and official cute animal stocks, it puts these in their place:
• Giant squid
• Stray cats
• “A surge of dangerous volcanic eruptions”
• Mold and ragweed
• Mosquitoes, ticks and mice
• Poison ivy
It might seem unlikely that pushing the mercury up a notch or two should result entirely in badness, but that’s how global warming plays. Try it at home; turn on a heater and watch your Miss Universe wife turn into Agatha Swampwart, ugliest chick in the whole leper colony. You’d almost think there’s some kind of design - intelligent design, if you will - behind warming’s ways.
Having taken away our guacamole, global warming’s latest trick is a record delivery of sharks:
A shark expert has warned that Victoria’s “shocking” approach to beach safety could put swimmers at risk as the state faces what could be its worst shark season, due to global warming.
Ric Wilson, from Shark Patrol Victoria ... says he believes global warming could be behind an increase in the number of sharks encroaching on the state’s beaches.
There are apparently so many Great Warming Sharks lurking off Victoria that the Age couldn’t single out just one, and had to source an image from South Africa. It’s only a matter of time - possibly the moment will come as the final koala dies - before the giant squid turn up.
NYT opinion editor Andy Rosenthal’s hiring of conservative Bill Kristol causes leftoid anger:
Rosenthal told Politico shortly after the official announcement Saturday that he fails to understand “this weird fear of opposing views.”
“The idea that The New York Times is giving voice to a guy who is a serious, respected conservative intellectual — and somehow that’s a bad thing,” Rosenthal added. “How intolerant is that?”
Sounds like he’s just learned something about his readers.
UPDATE! The Art Sulzberger memo announcing Kristol’s frightening appointment.
DO NOT LAUGH AT THE CRAZY EXPLOSIVE PEOPLE
“There’s nothing very funny about murderous fanaticism,” scolds Sydney Alternative Media. “It’s not really a fit subject for satire either from T shirts indicative of an immature carefree or frivolous attitude as here spotted at Bondi 27th Dec 2007 ...”
Oh, I don’t know. If you can’t laugh at murderous fanatics, what can you laugh at?
THAT’S THE SPIRIT
Needless to say, they weren’t driving a Prius:
A couple of newlyweds had their car seized on the way home from church following a street racing incident in western Sydney, police say.
Sir David King will be appalled.
Saturday, December 29, 2007
AUSTRAINIAN OF THE YEAR
A slightly behind-the-times US take on Australian politics:
Peter Garrett, the new Minister for the Environment and Labor’s outspoken climate change leader ...
Not any more. These days, Garrett is definitely inspoken.
JAIL THIS ISLAMOPHOBE
Mr McLeod said his client had concerns for himself and his family because extremist groups believed that, by renouncing his Islamic faith in 2002, he had dropped his allegiance to Osama bin Laden. His al-Qaeda training and capture among Taliban forces in Afghanistan could also anger nationalist groups, he said.
His al Qaeda training only angers nationalist groups? Might want to broaden that a little. Dave-friendly types will be interested to learn that their chubby mate believes we have groups here who are not only loyal to Osama bin Laden, but whose loyalty to the cave-bound death cultist is apparently tied to their sacred religion of peace.
(Via J.F. Beck, soon to return to blogging)
Thought sales of big, expensive SUVs and pickups were on life support? It would seem that reports of their death have been greatly exaggerated as sales for some of the largest, thirstiest luxury models, including the Cadillac Escalade ESV, Mercedes-Benz GL, and Toyota Tundra have shown a surprising resurgence ...
In fact, sales of most big, luxury sport-utility vehicles are up this year, like the Range Rover, along with several large (and expensive) SUVs from nonluxury brands, like the Chevrolet Suburban.
As the song went, back in the day: “I don’t know what the world may need, but a V8 engine’s a good start for me.”
UPDATE. “Well I’m doing my bit,” writes Sensible Swim. “A family member was about to make the rash decision of purchasing a new V6 ML Merc SUV. I talked sense into him just in time. He’s now getting the 382 horsepower V8 version.”
Rebellious Sydney art stays safe:
In his exhibition Cupco Is God, the artist Luke Temby has turned [the Pope and L.Ron Hubbard] into hand-stitched plush dolls. He has made a Jesus doll, a Satan doll and various Indian gods. His Queen Elizabeth is the Church of England’s representative of God on Earth, and his Joan of Arc is listening to music from the Smiths on a melting Walkman.
He has made suicide-bomber dolls that fall into two categories: little green monsters and female martyrs. “They’re heroes or devils depending on your perspective,” he says.
There is no Allah doll because “you’re not allowed to represent him, and I thought I’d better not”.
I’ve worked with Luke - nice guy; very gifted - but this is incredibly weak.
(Via Dominic at Steynland)
GAIA KNOWS DEMOGRAPHICS
The area that will by completely inundated by the rising ocean—and not in a century but in the lifetime of my two cats—are the American southeast, including the most populated area of Texas, almost all of Florida, most of Louisiana, and half of Alabama and Mississippi, as well as goodly portions of eastern Georgia, South Carolina and North Carolina ...
So what we see is that huge swaths of conservative America are set to face a biblical deluge in a few more presidential cycles.
This is actually bad news for liberals, whose warm, dry cities are about to be invaded by flood-fleeing red-staters. Who all own guns. Nice loft apartment you got here, buddy ...
(Via back-from-vacation James Taranto, who observes that “this sounds a lot like the ‘rapture’ myths propounded by some Christian fundamentalists. Global warmism really does look a lot like religion.”)