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Sunday, December 12, 2004

PAPER KNOWS ITS AUDIENCE

The New York Times is concerned about the reckless availability of Hardee’s Thickburger:

If restaurants want to serve food like this, they should print the calories and fat content on the overhead menus.

That�s fine, so far as it goes. But if the NYT�s audience actually requires a fat warning over something called a “thickburger”—there�s a clue in the name—then the paper should campaign for other warnings to be posted throughout the city:

Danger! This taxi cab weighs many thousands of pounds, and may cause injury if it rolls over you.

The administration of the Empire State Building wishes to advise that the observation deck is for observing. Not for the construction of towering 150-man human pyramids.

Do not attempt to mate with the grizzly bears. Repeat: Do NOT attempt to mate with the grizzly bears.

Attention, citizen! Are you walking around Times Square in a Bush/Cheney T-shirt? Do you WANT to be killed?

Posted by Tim B. on 12/12/2004 at 06:38 PM
(10) CommentsPermalink

WELCOME ALL

This is the new site, same as the old site. Well, mostly; this one features an even greater amount of unapproved industrial toxins. You�re breathing the deadly fumes right now!

On the up-side, you must be registered here to comment. This is intended to cut down on insidious anony-trolling. All you need do is provide a genuine e-mail address, a birth certificate, and a vial of spinal fluid. Click on comments for details.

Those fumes kicking in yet? Yes? The trick is to bail out sometime after the desk lamp takes on human form but before blood begins pulsing out of your mouth and ears.

Enjoy!

And brevity fans: this site may also be reached via the less-cumbersome http://timblair.net

UPDATE. Regular posting will resume once people have had a chance to register and become accustomed to this violent change.

 

Posted by Tim B. on 12/12/2004 at 11:01 AM
(107) CommentsPermalink
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