CRAWFISH DE TRIOMPHE

Hail the Louisiana Red Swamp crawfish, conquerer of France!

The prolific Louisiana Red Swamp crawfish, which can lay up to 750 eggs at one time and can reproduce nine months of the year, is thought to have escaped into wetland areas of France in 1976. It’s been downhill from there.

“The Louisiana crawfish eats all the aquatic plants in the marsh,” said Jean-Marc Thirion, scientific adviser to Nature Environnement 17, an environmental group based in Charente-Maritime, a department on France’s central Atlantic coast. “Without the aquatic plants, the water of the marsh is opaque and the sunlight can’t pass through,” making it difficult for aquatic life to survive.

According to Thirion, local critters have … well … surrendered to the exoskeletal American invader:

“When the Louisiana crawfish population is established after a few years in the same site, we note the extinction of amphibian species.”

Racist Eurobirds that eat the crawfish can’t cope with resultant colour issues:

Scientists in Spain have reported that astaxanthin, the reddish-orange pigment in the shell and body that gives the Louisiana crawfish its name, is turning the skin of baby white storks an orange color that could be disturbing to their parents.

One solution to the crawfish problem that Europe seems not to have considered, at least not very deeply: eat them.

Posted by Tim B. on 12/28/2004 at 12:32 AM
    1. If they ate them, wouldn’t all the French children turn a disturbing orange color?

      Hehehehehhehee.

      Posted by Aaron – Free Will on 12/28 at 12:57 AM • #

 

    1. Chicken L’Orange!

      Posted by Jim Treacher on 12/28 at 01:48 AM • #

 

    1. Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieee! Thas some good eatin’ der, cher, I gar-on-tee!

      (Well, actually, I find I burn more calories getting the &^%&% things open than I get from eating them. Of course, I only pinch the tails. I don’t suck the heads…)

      Posted by Cybrludite on 12/28 at 02:18 AM • #

 

    1. Yet more American imperialism.  Well, if they can’t cope…

      Posted by RebeccaH on 12/28 at 02:53 AM • #

 

    1. Suck dem heads Cyberluddite. Dat’s good eatin’!

      I knew mud bugs would one day destroy a weak civilization. The French should welcome their new tasty overlords.

      Posted by Some0Seppo on 12/28 at 02:53 AM • #

 

    1. hey, let’s not forget that we bought louisiana from the french, so these crawdads are not in fact ‘american invaders’ but are indeed returning french nationals.

      Posted by Mr. Bingley on 12/28 at 03:09 AM • #

 

    1. …who like their ancestors, prefer to eat Frogs.

      Posted by aebrain on 12/28 at 03:21 AM • #

 

    1. Sorry, not Frogs, the plants that Frogs rely on.

      Posted by aebrain on 12/28 at 03:22 AM • #

 

    1. Faced with an intolerant, aggressive immigrant population, I would expect the French to build the crawfish sprawling suburban slum housing, provide lavish welfare and teach them the native ways to hassle Jews.

      Posted by Matt in Denver on 12/28 at 03:28 AM • #

 

    1. pigment in the shell and body that gives the Louisiana crawfish its name, is turning the skin of baby white storks an orange color that could be disturbing to their parents

      Especially the Daddy white stork.

      Daddy Stork says to Mommy Stork, “dont lie to me woman, who you been with?!”

      Posted by Thomas on 12/28 at 05:58 AM • #

 

    1. A big plate of crawfish etoufee.  Man, it doesn’t get any better than that.  Cajun food rules.

      Posted by David Crawford on 12/28 at 07:29 AM • #

 

    1. How does one say “I, for one, welcome our new crawfish overlords” in French?

      Posted by Steve Skubinna on 12/28 at 12:37 PM • #

 

    1. The Cajun’s come home to roost

      Posted by democracywhiskey on 12/28 at 01:24 PM • #

 

    1. steve, google suggests “I, pour un, font bon accueil � nos nouveaux overlords de �crevisses”, which has a nice ring.

      Posted by Mr. Bingley on 12/28 at 03:27 PM • #

 

  1. First, giant crabs are descending on Norway, and now this. What gives?

    Given its track record, Europe will probably seek to appease the crustacean menace. I prefer a more aggressive approach, involving a coalition led by Long John Silver’s and Red Lobster.

    Posted by Alan K. Henderson on 12/28 at 04:16 PM • #