BOATS VANISHED

“This,” reports the Sydney Morning Herald, “is a picture of Sydney’s future. Rising sea levels will submerge or threaten billions of dollars worth of property, both public and private, by 2100.” Take a look at the Spit Bridge now, and as the SMH imagines it may appear following 94 years of global warming:

image

Where have all the boats gone? Isn’t it a quality of boats that they float, thereby making them invulnerable to rising sea levels? Is a rise of less than one metre, upon which the SMH’s projection is based, somehow capable of submerging all those sea craft? Did the owners of these vessels set sail for higher ground? Are yachts banned under our future Islamic government? We need answers! Perhaps an SMH reader can explain things:

The Earth used to be like an innocent girl. She was widely loved and respected, and even when she was occasionally abused, she had places she could retreat to, where she could heal herself. But then she began to get forcibly dressed up in things she didn’t want to wear, made to look like something she wasn’t, and then those that dressed her up ignored her innocence, and showed her less and less respect, exploiting her beauty, raping her riches and discarding torn and poisoned body. She was sad but was shown little sympathy, hurt but denied a chance to heal, with no safe-place left for her to go. And yet she was still willing to forgive, but humanity kept treating her the same way, giving little in return and even demanding more. She eventually grew sick and then bitter, and finally thought about revenge …

Raped, was she? Wouldn’t have happened if she kept her meat covered.

UPDATE. Further images of Sydney’s future, courtesy of the very latest in computer projection technology …

Sydney Harbour in 2006 … and Sydney Harbour in 2100:
image image

Bondi Beach in 2006 … and Bondi Beach in 2100:
image image

Sydney birdlife in 2006 … and Sydney birdlife in 2100:
image image

UPDATE. Via Dan Lewis, computer projections showing a typical Sydney girl in 2006 … and 2100:

image image

Posted by Tim B. on 10/30/2006 at 02:07 AM
    1. Is that a submission for the Bulwer-Lytton prize?

      Gawd.

      Posted by Spiny Norman on 2006 10 30 at 02:20 AM • permalink

 

    1. If a coal seam is left out in the open and a man comes along and strip mines it, whose fault is it? It’s the exposed coal that is the problem.

      Tell that Gaia whore to get back in her room!

      Posted by JSchuler on 2006 10 30 at 02:20 AM • permalink

 

    1. Perhaps the boats have been commandeered by polar bears setting sail for new and bountiful food sources.

      Posted by ErnestBludger on 2006 10 30 at 02:30 AM • permalink

 

    1. I’m sure the occupants of the local retirement village would probably be able to build a sea wall to prevent this disaster….

      I expect they could get it done in under 10 years.  Assuming you gave them one wheelbarrow and two shovels.

      20 years if you only let them use false teeth to dig with and handbags to transport the fill.

      Posted by rickw on 2006 10 30 at 02:35 AM • permalink

 

    1. Earth Girl needs a Reagan/Hillali Strategic Chador Initiative.

      Posted by C.L. on 2006 10 30 at 02:57 AM • permalink

 

    1. Sounds like Old Mother Gaia needs some Evening Primrose oil.

      Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2006 10 30 at 03:00 AM • permalink

 

    1. Adrian from the SMH blog has it all sorted out:

      The solution?
      Simple.
      Dismantle “freedom of choice”. Want water (if you can get it) turn on the tap. Want jam? You get one apricot, not 456 different types of apricot. Why do we need 45 different types of a small sedan?
      Because my car or bottled water helps define my style and image.
      We humans have to accept the planet is not toilet paper to wipe our ever increasing arses with.
      Accept to live with less.
      Simple.

      A balmy future world of apricot Mao suits with ample seat room and smelly left hands. Adrian is a visionary! Perhaps he can tell us where the boats went.

      Posted by exit ramp on 2006 10 30 at 03:01 AM • permalink

 

    1. Didn’t the good ol’ Earth used to deliver blows with the black death, smallpox, earthquakes and tsunamis?  Reminds me of my niece.

      Posted by blogagog on 2006 10 30 at 03:02 AM • permalink

 

    1. #7 exit ramp,

      Don’t tell me, let me guess: Adrian has a boring, dead-end, but somewhat secure government job and hates those who make their own money – lots more than he’s got.

      Posted by Spiny Norman on 2006 10 30 at 03:05 AM • permalink

 

    1. That’s hilarious. I guess these sleuths don’t know about pontoon jetties.

      Posted by Henry boy on 2006 10 30 at 03:07 AM • permalink

 

    1. Umm, excuse me, perhaps I’m missing something.

      Why is the water on the right hand side of the peninsula in the 2100 image ‘higher’ than on the left hand side?

      Go back to the original image and you’ll see the difference.

      Don’t tell me gravity’s been affected in the 22nd century too?

      — Nora

      Posted by The Thin Man Returns on 2006 10 30 at 03:07 AM • permalink

 

    1. Simple explanation for the boats. It was another glorious day, so everybody went out sailing with hampers filled with apricot jam and pizza that starving lefties had discarded.

      Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2006 10 30 at 03:11 AM • permalink

 

    1. #9 Spiny Norman

      You’re spot on I reckon. He probably works at spending taxpayers’ money on boat shows.

      Posted by exit ramp on 2006 10 30 at 03:24 AM • permalink

 

    1. All of those boats must have been dragged to the bottom, as a result of having been equiped with those short (Pre-Chimpy McEarthRaper) anchor lines.

      Posted by Thomas on 2006 10 30 at 03:36 AM • permalink

 

    1. In 2100 the exalted Mufti Halali III, Supreme Ayatollah of Islamalaia, will decree pleasure boats haram.  Far too much exposed skin riding on those crafts causing far reaching meat shortages and cat obesity.

      Posted by Texas Bob on 2006 10 30 at 03:50 AM • permalink

 

    1. OT, in the letters section of the SMH:

      no “ethnic appearances” are mentioned, so it is safe to assume that they, too, are mainly Anglo-Celtic – certainly not Muslim.

      Oh how I laughed.

      Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2006 10 30 at 03:59 AM • permalink

 

    1. I know what happened.
      The owners of the boats found that the rates to keep the boats moored there got so high, with all the surcharges and tariffs to save the world from glowball warmening, etc, and they moved elsewhere. Anyway, it took 94 years for the water to rise, plenty of time to leave.
      Or maybe they went to the Todd River for the Regatta?

      Posted by kae on 2006 10 30 at 03:59 AM • permalink

 

    1. You don’t need global warming to make boats disappear. Many decades ago I used to repair displacement yachts at that very location (Spit Bridge Marina). One of our commonest tasks was to refloat a sunken boat when the owner had forgotten to close the outer valve on a “head” which had been installed below the waterline.

      The main thing for yachties to remember as global warmening hits is to loosen mooring lines to allow the yacht to float up with the sea level. (Only necessary on a wharf, a marina will also float upwards so no need to attend mooring lines in such cases.)

      Posted by quillpen on 2006 10 30 at 03:59 AM • permalink

 

    1. That would have to be the lamest looking example of the doom-laden future we are supposedly facing that I have come across….

      If that is meant to scare the pants of people into actually making some inconvenient changes in their lifestyle, something tells me they better find someone with a bit more imagination in at that sheltered workshop….

      Posted by casanova on 2006 10 30 at 04:01 AM • permalink

 

    1. For those curious about what rising sea levels mean for their own little corner of the globe, the boffins at firestree have done a great little job.

      In my own case, a sea level rise of 14 metres is sufficient to give me a waterfront property.  Must get an SUV to bring forward the day.  I hear it will make the winters more pleasant, too.

      Posted by entropy on 2006 10 30 at 04:16 AM • permalink

 

    1. With all Australians becoming more prosperous I expect by 2100 that you won’t be able to see the water in that picture for all the boats moored in the area.

      Posted by Razor on 2006 10 30 at 04:18 AM • permalink

 

    1. In 94 years they never widened the bridge. Look at the pic – same fucking bridge. Not an extra lane to be seen.

      When interviewed about this outrageous neglect and negligence, the Minister For Roads & Tunnels, Carl Scully III, stated:-“Well, the bridge only services the silvertails of the northern beaches and those millionaires at Cromer and Frenchs Forest with the waterfront properties anyway. They have never voted Labor. Not in my father’s time, my grandfather’s time nor way back in 2006 in great grandads’s time. Why give those capitalists extra lanes.

      Posted by Bonmot on 2006 10 30 at 04:22 AM • permalink

 

    1. Bah! This is merely plagarism of Richard Neville’s far superior effort over a year ago.

      Posted by Quentin George on 2006 10 30 at 04:25 AM • permalink

 

    1. I really really doubt there are many properties which would be submerged by a 1 metre rise in sea levels.

      If you built a property next to the sea and it was only 1 metre above sea level, you’d be in serious trouble already.

      Given that it is unspectacular to see waves of 1 metre on sea-facing beaches, and even in Bay beaches in heavy wind, (measured from its base – at sea level – to it’s peak) it is surprising we aren’t losing billions of dollars of property right now!

      Posted by JamesP on 2006 10 30 at 04:25 AM • permalink

 

    1. My god, the humanity. From what I can see, the road is submerged in a foot or so of water for about 20 meters. They’ll need to bank it up a couple of feet over the course of the next century, the local council will never get THAT done in time. Imagine if you dare the rusting that will ravage the hapless populace’s crappy electric cars as they briefly hydroplane through the salt water to get to the bridge!

      Christ, it’s Waterworld with Richard Gere all over again! We’re doomed, DOOOOOOOOOOOMED I tell you, oh wait, I live on the West side so screw them.

      Posted by Amos on 2006 10 30 at 04:43 AM • permalink

 

    1. The letter writer certainly put the “pathetic” in “pathetic fallacy”.

      What astounding drivel.

      Posted by unkraut on 2006 10 30 at 04:44 AM • permalink

 

    1. #25 – Waterworld with Richard Gere. That must be the directors cut, in which Richard’s gerbil comes close to drowning, but Kevin Costner saves it and builds a Field of Dreams for it to live in.

      Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2006 10 30 at 04:46 AM • permalink

 

    1. The boats disappeared because there was no one left who could afford anything approaching pleasurable activities after the world’s economies were wrecked by 21st Century chicken littles.  Did you notice that there were no cars on that bridge?

      People ceased to care anyway.  They were too busy scrounging for their own sustenance, barely able to care about the next day, much less do anything to protect themselves from, or prepare for, the numerous catastrophes that regularly occur.  There was no money for it anyway.  Technology slipped ever backward when the required economic environment could no longer be sustained under the weight of the millions of rules and regulations issued by the One World Government of Imams, Ayatollahs, and bureaucrats.

      Government did little but punish the law breakers, which included most of the earth’s dwindling population.

      Those developing worlds who depended on the formerly wealthy nations to feed them and provide health care mostly died out from famine and several plagues.

      Life expectancy, which was once in the 70’s for the developed nations, fell once again to 30-35 (though these people looked 70).  That depended, of course, on making it out of childhood, which became increasingly difficult since no one was left who could remember how to make vaccines, or cold medicines.

      No one cared that the whole earth had entered a dark age brought on by the chicken littles.  Eventually, no one even knew that there had ever been anything else.  History was over, you see.

      Posted by saltydog on 2006 10 30 at 04:48 AM • permalink

 

    1. Rats!  Even 14 metres isn’t enough to make our place waterfront.

      Thanks entropy.  I’m going back to play now.

      Posted by Janice on 2006 10 30 at 04:49 AM • permalink

 

    1. Bugger. Looked at the Google earth map thingy, here, I’m off in the fuzzy bit.
      Thanks Google Earth.
      Harrumph.

      Posted by kae on 2006 10 30 at 05:23 AM • permalink

 

    1. #16. Considering that their faces were plastered all over the papers and the television for several days, their ethnicity and appearance didn’t need to be mentioned.

      Sometimes, I come close to despair.

      Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2006 10 30 at 05:25 AM • permalink

 

    1. Can we borrow Sean Penn for a bit?

      Posted by Skip on 2006 10 30 at 05:34 AM • permalink

 

    1. Over at the SMH blog Tim’s post links to, the hilarity continues sophisticed Fairfax readers carefully analyse events:

      “As the deaths & destruction mount & global warming denial becomes a crime against humanity watch the current crop of pollies scamper for cover like cockroaches when the lights go on. No wonder George & Johny are so wary of the UN & any pan global justice system.”

      Posted by: Dan at October 30, 2006 11:45 AM

      Posted by ekb87 on 2006 10 30 at 05:47 AM • permalink

 

    1. Obviously French frogmen (is that a redundancy) have been in the area…

      Posted by murph on 2006 10 30 at 05:49 AM • permalink

 

    1. I think the key message from all this visual exreapolation of rising sea levels is that it becomes clear that it’s not that bad; or at the most, not all bad.

      Rather the opposite reaction they were hoping for I suspect.

      Posted by entropy on 2006 10 30 at 05:55 AM • permalink

 

    1. Nilknarf Arbed, my point was that that SMH omits ethnicity when reporting on MOMEAs, not whites, and despite this the letter writer assumes that they are white because ethnicity was omitted. (BTW, I had no idea “that their faces were plastered all over the papers and the television for several days”, as I’m in Japan and only recovered last Friday from a prolonged internet outage.)

      Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2006 10 30 at 05:59 AM • permalink

 

    1. SMH Blog again:

      “[Global warming] is a man-made problem, I believe it can be reversed and I don’t believe that it will even take huge lifestyle changes.

      The first step is to vote out the Howard Government. Then we can sign Kyoto, reduce/eradicate our reliance on coal and oil through the promotion of renewables, introduce carbon taxes and trading systems, and enjoy the long summer for centuries to come.”

      Posted by: Fitzy at October 30, 2006 12:44 PM

      So he wants to enjoy “the long summer”, eh?  So is this confused schmuck for or against global warming or what?

      Posted by ekb87 on 2006 10 30 at 06:07 AM • permalink

 

    1. #34 murph, actually the French are patiently waiting for water levels to rise. Once Paris becomes The French Venice, car/bus burning should taper off dramatically. Ever tried to light a Peugeot under 3 meters of water? Taint easy.

      Posted by Texas Bob on 2006 10 30 at 06:13 AM • permalink

 

    1. bloody hell…

      The NSW gov’t has an election coming up; they’re really just trying to soft-sell the northern beaches voters the idea that the Spit bridge won’t be fixed by 2100.

      Posted by duncanm on 2006 10 30 at 06:19 AM • permalink

 

    1. The Earth used to be like an innocent girl. She was widely loved and respected, and even when she was occasionally abused, she had places she could retreat to, where she could heal herself.

      Where would those places be?  The battered planet shelter?

      (wonders how long it will be before I start seeing commercials for Planet Abuse Counseling Organization)

      Posted by wronwright on 2006 10 30 at 06:25 AM • permalink

 

    1. This is proof positive that progressive journalists are the dumbest, msot stupid individuals let loose on society.

      It has to be the culmination of at least 30 years of progressive education in Australia where students are trained, not taught.

      We are headed for another Dark Age methinks.

      Posted by Louis on 2006 10 30 at 06:32 AM • permalink

 

    1. Thanks for the Shipping News Tim.
      On the 9 News tonight was an absolute gem..Chuck and Camella sauntering down the stairs from their aircraft on an official visit.
      Clearly emblazoned on the stairway side were the letters S.A.P.S……..

      Posted by crash on 2006 10 30 at 06:32 AM • permalink

 

    1. Reading the comments on that SMH blog frightens me; that there are (presumably) grown men and women who are such fairytale-disaster-fantasists.

      Grown men and women in perpetual adolescence ‘cos it is easier to believe the disaster fantasy than to think for oneself.

      Posted by closeapproximation on 2006 10 30 at 06:39 AM • permalink

 

    1. That looks like normal beach erosion to me, not catastrophic flooding caused by “global warming.” The writers at this paper do know that it is in the nature of beaches, which are made of loose sand, to erode away under the influence of the waves washing up on them, don’t they? It’s one of the main obsessions here in Florida, and we’re constantly dredging up sand from the bottom to replace the washed-away bits.

      Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2006 10 30 at 06:45 AM • permalink

 

    1. #44, Andrea:

      The writers at this paper do know… don’t they?

      No.

      Posted by Grimmy on 2006 10 30 at 07:00 AM • permalink

 

    1. Where have all the boats gone?

      I’m thinking one of the boat’s owners enjoyed some delicious pizza and the resulting reverberations sunk the entire fleet.

      [I can’t believe I’ve been trying to think of fart jokes for the last few hours and that was the best I could come up with. I blame global worming and George Bu$h]

      Posted by Art Vandelay on 2006 10 30 at 07:03 AM • permalink

 

    1. Is it only me or is that simply not a very scary picture? And thats at the more extreme end of forecasts of sea level rise. Excepting Gore’s fantasies of the Statue of Liberty with only the torch visible.

      Posted by Francis H on 2006 10 30 at 07:06 AM • permalink

 

    1. I live 2200ft AMSL. I don’t give rats arse about you beachdwellers when the flood eventually arrives.

      Posted by CB on 2006 10 30 at 07:16 AM • permalink

 

    1. #47
      Already seen that in the original Planet of the Apes.

      Posted by kae on 2006 10 30 at 07:20 AM • permalink

 

    1. O/T Midnight Oil/part time politician Peter Garrett basking in yesteryears’ glow at the Aria Awards-attacks todays groups for their lack of political activism…

      Posted by crash on 2006 10 30 at 07:27 AM • permalink

 

    1. #38, Tex, you ever hear of thermite? 😀

      Posted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2006 10 30 at 07:30 AM • permalink

 

    1. I’m in bloody Canberra. Gotta get that sea level up half a kilometre before I’ll even notice! And even then it’ll still be a 40 minute drive to a decent fishing spot.

      Anyhoo, having read that sewage the SMH’s “reader” wrote, it’s obviously time to flash up the V8 P-76 o’doom and lay one on the Earth mother.

      Lube up, Gaia! The Leyland is gonna getcha. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHEHEHEHEHEEEeeeee!

      MarkL
      canberra

      Posted by MarkL on 2006 10 30 at 07:32 AM • permalink

 

    1. Wow Mark, I didnt know you were one of the Leyland brothers……

      Posted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2006 10 30 at 07:40 AM • permalink

 

    1. Billions of dollars worth of property threatened, hey?  If that were so, then why did they print such a lame example?

      Posted by slammer on 2006 10 30 at 08:01 AM • permalink

 

    1. Chalk up another one for Adobe Photoshop. But I thought Reuters had copyright on this sort of in depth reporting.

      Posted by Whale Spinor on 2006 10 30 at 08:21 AM • permalink

 

    1. From the SMH blog:

      Australia should stop mining coal and selling it to other nations.

      Why? It’s removing a huge quantity of dangerous carbon from the Australian environment.

      Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2006 10 30 at 08:27 AM • permalink

 

    1. Re: #56, What we should be doing is exporting Uranium, its much better for mother gaia (cant believe I just named the dirt under my feet).

      Oh wait we already are and they dont like that either…

      Well screw ‘em in their blocked up ears.

      Posted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2006 10 30 at 08:38 AM • permalink

 

    1. Was listening to a report about global warmenising on BBC Radio 4 this morning and heard somebody saying “We can’t be certain about what will happen under every scenario, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be specific about what to do.” !!

      Posted by Ian Deans on 2006 10 30 at 08:43 AM • permalink

 

    1. 57. The_Wizard_of_WOZ

      Re: #56, What we should be doing is exporting Uranium, its much better for mother gaia (cant believe I just named the dirt under my feet).

      Oh wait we already are and they dont like that either…

      Never seen what’s wrong with uranium. Remember, even the hippies said “you can’t hug someone with nuclear arms, but you can warm their heart”.

      Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2006 10 30 at 08:59 AM • permalink

 

    1. #22

      Spot on. 94 years and no additional roads or infrastructure at all. That might be a tollbooth in the second picture though.

      Evidently the SMH predicts Labor will win the next 23 elections. Funny that.

      Posted by Dan Lewis on 2006 10 30 at 09:06 AM • permalink

 

    1. Yow Hoo! I’m applying for the Lakemba Lake waterpark concession now- no need for changing sheds, come as you are in full anti-radioactive suit!

      You thought the chador and burkah were articles of restriction- see how well you dhimmis fare when the glorious atomic jihad of yhe prophet kick off- lead lined gear’s going to see our quick takeover from you depraved, decadent swine.

      Allah Akhbah!!!!!

      Posted by Habib on 2006 10 30 at 09:08 AM • permalink

 

    1. #59, “you can’t hug someone with nuclear arms, but you can warm their heart”.

      And the rest of them, and all of their surroundings within a 5 mile circle (depending on yield)…

      😀 Physics makes the world go round.

      Posted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2006 10 30 at 09:11 AM • permalink

 

    1. Heh.

      In today’s SMH letters (just appeared online):

      Why would the floating pontoons at the Spit disappear by 2100?
      Ted Harkness Pyrmont

      and

      Not surprised to see that in 2100 the work to widen the Spit Bridge has still not started.
      David Culkin Lavender Bay

      Posted by Dan Lewis on 2006 10 30 at 09:12 AM • permalink

 

    1. Based on conservative projections of the effects of climate change, scientific modelling done for the Herald by University of Sydney researchers show many waterfront areas, including the Spit Bridge…

      I wonder what faculty the ‘researchers’ came from. Not Engineering, I hope. But you would think that even an Arts undergraduate would know that boats and pontoons are designed to go up and down with changing water levels.

      What a total waste of resources that once fine newspaper has become.

      Posted by Skeeter on 2006 10 30 at 09:33 AM • permalink

 

    1. Quite a bit O/T, but very important none the less, Shiek Hilali Suffers Heart Attack!.

      May I be the first to say, THANK YOU JESUS!

      Posted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2006 10 30 at 09:39 AM • permalink

 

    1. Re #65, is anyone else surprised the Shite Shiek didnt refuse to travel in an ambo with a pair of crosses of the Knights Templar on the rear windows?

      Posted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2006 10 30 at 09:43 AM • permalink

 

    1. He dropped on his arse during a meeting that was being held to determin his future?

      Sounds like a sympathy play.

      Posted by Grimmy on 2006 10 30 at 09:43 AM • permalink

 

    1. Where have all the boats gone?

      Enhanced satellite photos indicate that those boats were craft belonging to the French fleet; they’d probably put into Sydney to pick up some penicillin after conducting maneuvers in Tahiti. By the year 2100, they would naturally have been recalled to France to begin the evacuation of non-Muslim citizens to Quebec.

      As to the rising waters, isn’t that a very aged Phil Adams who’s just waded into the surf? I believe that the late Archimedes had something to say about the phenomenon.

      Posted by paco on 2006 10 30 at 09:50 AM • permalink

 

    1. Maybe the sheik was having one of these attacks.

      Posted by Skeeter on 2006 10 30 at 09:54 AM • permalink

 

    1. #68, paco:

      Dont be such a displacementist.

      Posted by Grimmy on 2006 10 30 at 10:00 AM • permalink

 

    1. Unlike Gaia, Nanny Attard over at Media Watch is extremely well covered -no diaphonous chiffons and sheer draperies for HER.
      Even her meansbusiness padded jacket however could not prevent Andrew Bolt from getting under her skin..
      He appears to hold a curious fascination for her,she gets all swept up with him,casting aspersions on his maths,attempting to pit him against Tim,bracketing him with Pearson,Devine and Akerman.Bolt and Alan Jones, Miranda (“but even her MISSING photo didn’t stop her from GETTING STUCK INTO..ABC’S Chris Masters”????
      Poor old Cwissie needs Nanny to protect and shelter(some would say harbour -him).
      A minuscule skirmish with Hobart cfm radio momentarily distracted her from the Bolta trail but then she was off again,nose to the ground…with his scent in her flaring nostrils,bent on his destruction.
      That woman needs to get out more.TOO much starch makes Nanny a dull girl.
      Bolt “still resisting the prophets of doom”,Bolt and Al Gore shouting at him.
      Facts and tedious figures invoked,bulging ledgers consulted,academics pinned down and dusted up -ooh it got hot in the Mediawatch studio.
      Nanny finished acting the goat- with a defiant head toss and a devastating curled lip she threw down her gauntlet.
      “Next year we’ll be back-doing what we’ve always done,keeping the media to account.”
      Delusions of grandeur.That’s (sigh) our abc.

      Posted by crash on 2006 10 30 at 10:13 AM • permalink

 

    1. #68 Aaargh ..Pullese don’t talk about Phatty’s plimsoll line!

      Posted by crash on 2006 10 30 at 10:16 AM • permalink

 

    1. The earth was like an innocent little girl, one armed with flame throwers and biological weapons and wild carnivorous animals and uncrossable oceans and deserts and jungles and lightning and earthquakes and ice storms and….

      Posted by SoberHT on 2006 10 30 at 10:19 AM • permalink

 

    1. #70: Sorry, Grimmy, but my mind was just running along those lines this morning. On the metro riding into Washington I had taken a window seat, and a large woman who apparently thought that her ticket gave her the right to two seats got on at the next stop, dropped into the aisle seat next to me, and squashed me up against the side of the train. I felt like a loaf of bread at the bottom of a sack on top of which an incompetent supermarket bagger had just dropped two family-size cans of pears in heavy syrup.

      Posted by paco on 2006 10 30 at 10:23 AM • permalink

 

    1. #67, “He dropped on his arse during a meeting that was being held to determin(e) his future?

      Sounds like a sympathy play. “

      Those were pretty much my first thoughts too Grimmy.

      Lets hope we’re both wrong and the Good Lord is about to call him in to account for his words and actions.

      Posted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2006 10 30 at 10:23 AM • permalink

 

    1. Well obviously a mere 96 years is just not enough time to reposition the boat docks in response to that 7-inch global warming tsunami.

      That’s what you Aussies get for hiring Bangladeshis as dock workers—they’ll just sit there with their noses to the ground waiting to drown!

      Posted by Shaky Barnes on 2006 10 30 at 10:29 AM • permalink

 

    1. re #11, Nora, you are correct.  But perhaps gravity isn’t the reason for the water elevation difference.  Perhaps Mother Gaia™ is offereing a Commpassionate Head Tilt™ for Australia.

      Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 10 30 at 10:30 AM • permalink

 

    1. #73 Mark: Just like the little girl in Stephen King’s firestarter.

      Incidentally, the DNA tests are back from the Gaia investigation. Looks like it was a gang rape. Police have put out an all points bulletin on Al Gore, Tim Robbins and others who have been responsible for spewing jet-fuel fumes around the globe.

      Posted by paco on 2006 10 30 at 10:33 AM • permalink

 

    1. Seriously—that very picture would be perfect on the cover of some skeptic-book as an example of the minor, incremental non-changes that result after a whole century of worst-case scenario global warming—resulting in nothing but minor inconvenience for the wealthiest yachtsmen and a bit of job-creation to relocate a few gift shops and bars.

      Must be those SMH guys need their annual refresher in “Effective Agitprop for the Mainstream Media”.

      Posted by Shaky Barnes on 2006 10 30 at 10:38 AM • permalink

 

    1. Global warming makes me think the Earth is a masochist – the more you abuse her the wetter she gets.

      (And yes, I did hesitate before posting this. Perhaps I’ll regret it.)

      Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2006 10 30 at 10:39 AM • permalink

 

    1. #80:
      New slogan ideas!

      Getting Hot for Gaia!!

      Gaia, what a HOTTIE!!

      Get Some Gaia!

      Gaia’s in heat!

      Posted by Grimmy on 2006 10 30 at 10:47 AM • permalink

 

    1. Gaia’s Hot AND Wet…

      Posted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2006 10 30 at 10:53 AM • permalink

 

    1. If the water level rose at all it’s obviously because of that big black square in the water. That thing must weigh a ton!

      Posted by Merlin on 2006 10 30 at 11:10 AM • permalink

 

    1. Wait, all the marina docks are empty and gone, cars on the roadway are gone, but after 94 years the boats that looked like they were moving in the middle and lower right are still at anchor in exactly that same spots! How do they get food? How do they pay their boat taxes? Weird.

      Posted by bobpence on 2006 10 30 at 11:16 AM • permalink

 

    1. A rising tide lifts all boats.
      John F. Kennedy

      Whew, reading through the SMH blog is like taking a walk through Wonderland. What a way to start the week!

      Fortunately there are still pockets of sanity here and there:

      TV GM bans global warming news

      The general manager of two TV stations in Maine has ordered his news department to stop covering global warming until “Bar Harbor is underwater.”

      Michael Palmer told the joint news staff of WVII and WFVX in an e-mail that global warming stories are like “‘the killer African bee scare’ from the 1970s or, more recently, the Y2K scare when everyone’s computer was going to self-destruct.”

      Climate Science Coalition says Al Gore’s claim in movie ‘Inconvenient Truth that Pacific Islands sinking incorrect

      A group of scientists is questioning the worth of Al Gore’s flying visit to New Zealand.

      The former US vice-president will arrive for half a day next month to promote his film on global warming, An Inconvenient Truth. During the 80 minute movie, Gore argues for the need to take immediate action to combat climate change.

      The New Zealand Climate Science Coalition does not accept arguments about man-made global warming. Spokesman Owen McShane claims Gore has been liberal with the truth in his film, when he says Pacific Islanders have been evacuated because their islands are drowning.

      Well, I have important decisions to make today. Shall I sell our three vehicles, disconnect my clothes dryer and HVAC unit, start rationing water and electricity and cancel next week’s trip since we’ll be flying anddriving; or should I follow James’ advice over at SMH, send a few bucks to Terrapass and simply erase my carbon footprints. Decisions, decisions.

      Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2006 10 30 at 11:20 AM • permalink

 

    1. Re #65, My Bad, MuzzieZapper linked to that article in ‘Once, Twice, Three times Hilali’ about an hour and 4 minutes before I saw it.

      Apologies.

      Posted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2006 10 30 at 11:25 AM • permalink

 

    1. #76 Not nice Shaky Barnes describing Bangladeshis like that.We do have SOME scruples at Blair House.

      Posted by crash on 2006 10 30 at 11:32 AM • permalink

 

    1. Wait, all the marina docks are empty and gone, cars on the roadway are gone, but after 94 years the boats that looked like they were moving in the middle and lower right are still at anchor in exactly that same spots! How do they get food? How do they pay their boat taxes? Weird.

      Not to mention there seems to be an incredible number of mangroves that grew in the exact same positions as the trees present in 2006. They have to be mangroves; those are the only trees I know of capable of surviving in salt water.

      Same size, too. Weird.

      Posted by Rob Crawford on 2006 10 30 at 11:40 AM • permalink

 

    1. I’m pulling for a 4 meter rise.  That’ll put me on Ocean Front property.

      I can’t wait 94 years tho…can you guys hurry up with your GaiaRapine.

      Posted by trainer on 2006 10 30 at 12:06 PM • permalink

 

    1. I’m glad to see the additional pictures.

      Until I saw the first one, I had been under the impression Sydney was a much larger town.

      Posted by Rittenhouse on 2006 10 30 at 12:19 PM • permalink

 

    1. We have the real estate agent coming this morning to revalue our house – at present a couple of blocks from the Georges River, in a few years ON the Georges River

      Thought we’d sell up now with this as a selling point – soon to be waterfront – and then move to Dubbo

      Posted by aussiemagpie on 2006 10 30 at 12:33 PM • permalink

 

    1. Maybe by 2100 global warming will have boiled the brains of Aussies to the point that they no longer know how to build, maintain, or sail boats.

      So a couple of feet less beachfront is the hellish future we have to look forward to if we don’t pour a few trillion dollars down the Kyoto sinkhole?

      Posted by Randal Robinson on 2006 10 30 at 01:04 PM • permalink

 

    1. This is refreshing, but I wonder how long he’ll last.

      Via that ol’ favorite, florida cracker.

      Posted by paco on 2006 10 30 at 01:37 PM • permalink

 

    1. Oh now I understand. This is a projection of Australia after having conformed to the Kyoto treaty for a century. It made no substantial difference in temperatures but it so bankrupted the economy no one could afford boats anymore.

      Posted by Shaky Barnes on 2006 10 30 at 01:39 PM • permalink

 

    1. Report Warns About Global Warming

      Unchecked global warming will devastate the world economy on the scale of the world wars and the Great Depression, a major British report said Monday.

      British Treasury chief Gordon Brown, who commissioned the report, said former Vice President Al Gore, who has dedicated much time to warning of the effects of global warming, would advise the British government on climate change.

      Heaven help the British government.

      Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2006 10 30 at 01:46 PM • permalink

 

    1. Not even a 14m rise gets me oceanfront property (I’m north of that bunch of big buildings).  Would cut my time to the coast, though.

      Posted by Achillea on 2006 10 30 at 01:52 PM • permalink

 

    1. #89 –

      I think it’s kinda cool how your flooding makes nice, neat straight lines.  Mine just kinda blobs around.

      Posted by Achillea on 2006 10 30 at 01:54 PM • permalink

 

    1. Anti-global warming advocates are completely nuts.  The world is not going to end.  The world is not going to end.

      Posted by aaron_ on 2006 10 30 at 02:04 PM • permalink

 

    1. It’s obvious that they disappeared into the Brisbane Triangle.

      Posted by andycanuck on 2006 10 30 at 02:41 PM • permalink

 

    1. Where have all the boats gone?

      That’s easy.  Kevin Costner stole all the boats and built artificial boat-islands out of them so the survivors would have someplace dry to live, and nobody would be prosecuted in a Nuremburg-style court for disbelieving in Global Warming, yea, amen, and all the smart people would develop gills behind their ears — not sure why, since they have boats to live on, but still…

      Hey, it makes as much sense to me as “The Earth used to be like an innocent girl”.

      Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 10 30 at 03:14 PM • permalink

 

    1. wronwright: The battered planet shelter?

      We prefer The Pan-Global Home For Fearful and Abused Celestial Bodies, Planetoids and Comets

      Hater.

      Posted by mojo on 2006 10 30 at 04:43 PM • permalink

 

    1. #36 Oops. I missed the sarc tags, MuzzieZapper. I also didn’t realise that you weren’t in Oz. I’ll pay closer attention next time.

      Muy bad.

      Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2006 10 30 at 05:01 PM • permalink

 

    1. Even worse, these photos of future Sydney – presented through the miracle of SMH Futurescope – show no traces of hoverbikes, hovercars, or nude rooftop sunbathers.  Although I can just make out a toppled, crumbling Statue of Liberty.  Damn you, damn you all to hell!!

      Posted by cuckoo on 2006 10 30 at 05:38 PM • permalink

 

    1. Don’t interrupt me, I’m making these LAND RIGHTS FOR LAND signs, and I’m ANGRYfor a march..

      Posted by Barrie on 2006 10 30 at 06:39 PM • permalink

 

    1. #95 Kyda: Unchecked global warming will devastate the world economy on the scale of the world wars and the Great Depression, a major British report said Monday.

      The writer is appropriately named Stern. He’s NOT a scientist, but he carefully avoided blaming Australia and the USA for not signing Kyoto, so he’s no idiot.

      Posted by Barrie on 2006 10 30 at 06:43 PM • permalink

 

    1. Gills would be sweet.

      Posted by aaron_ on 2006 10 30 at 08:51 PM • permalink

 

    1. Dan Lewis – what, no burqua?

      Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2006 10 30 at 09:41 PM • permalink

 

    1. #107

      Dan Lewis – what, no burqua?

      Call me optimistic…

      Posted by Dan Lewis on 2006 10 30 at 10:49 PM • permalink

 

    1. #106, “Gills would be sweet.

      Yeah they would, but I’d also like that eye adaption that lets you see clearly through the air/water boundary…

      Posted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2006 10 30 at 11:18 PM • permalink

 

    1. And wings, wings would be Uber sweet…

      Posted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2006 10 30 at 11:20 PM • permalink

 

    1. Call me optimistic…
      Fair enough. There are far worse sights at the beach.

      Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2006 10 31 at 12:21 AM • permalink

 

    1. Wait a minute. That picture superimposing an old woman in a headscarf on the body of a young woman is piss poor. It looks like you’re having a go at muslim women. Let’s not take cheap shots at their womenfolk. Their sheilas get it bad enough from their own blokes. I reckon we should be above that.

      I’m not trying preach. I don’t reckon I’m better than you. I just say its a weak act.

      Posted by SingleMalt on 2006 10 31 at 12:23 AM • permalink

 

    1. 111. Swinish
      That’s the worst pair of budgie parrot smugglers I’ve ever seen.
      Sascha Baron Cohen really has a lot to answer for!

      Posted by kae on 2006 10 31 at 12:29 AM • permalink

 

    1. Coming soon to a theatre near you, kae…
      Hell, I sound like an ad for the guy.

      Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2006 10 31 at 12:35 AM • permalink

 

    1. Gee, thanks, Swinish.

      I might pass on that one.

      Posted by kae on 2006 10 31 at 12:41 AM • permalink

 

    1. This scientist does not agree with the Stern report.  He points out the logical and scientific flaws with the model and deduces that there is no likely increase in global warming within a useful policy period.

      Posted by allan on 2006 10 31 at 02:05 AM • permalink

 

    1. #112

      You’re wrong and clearly not hanging around enough hundred year old women.

      Posted by Dan Lewis on 2006 10 31 at 02:20 AM • permalink

 

    1. #117 You’re right Dan Lewis. You can have all the 100 year olds to yourself.

      Posted by SingleMalt on 2006 10 31 at 02:43 AM • permalink

 

    1. If those before and after pics of Aussie women are correct, then I need to hussle myself up and get my supply secured now.

      Posted by Grimmy on 2006 10 31 at 04:15 AM • permalink

 

    1. Aussie Women (pbit), Get ‘em while they’re HOT!

      I.E., anytime in the next millenia or so should be fine.

      Posted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2006 10 31 at 11:37 AM • permalink

 

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