AUSTRALIA’S BIGGEST LOSER (AND DAVID HICKS)

In February, before it was revealed David Hicks had actually put on weight during his Guantanamo holiday, we were told how gaunt and wretchedhe’d become:

They say a picture speaks ten thousand words. This new image of David Hicks — created by a world renowned face recognition expert — is a graphic illustration of the passage of time David Hicks has being left to languish in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. Five years in isolated detention, without trial, leaps out in this image. It’s a ghost of the David Hicks we’re used to seeing, and one that reflects the accurate descriptions of his Australian lawyer, David McLeod, who has just seen him.

This picture has also prompted veteran journalist Ray Martin to publicly, and very powerfully declare, that he’s “ashamed to be an Aussie” over the Federal Government’s response to David Hicks, wisely asking “what has happened to the Aussie ‘fair go’?’

The picture lied. Is Ray Martin still ashamed? Fair go, Ray. In latest Hicks weight news:

Hicks jnr was in good spirits, chatty, much slimmer and with better colour than when Mr Hicks saw him in Cuba in late March …

So now it’s good that he’s lost weight. This guy is worse than Oprah.

UPDATE. Judging by these pics, Bryan Law has been held in Gitmo for decades. The guy’s a one-man Pine Gap Four.

Posted by Tim B. on 05/30/2007 at 08:30 AM
    1. Where, in Australia, is Hicks going to be able to dine on delicious Cuban fare: boliche, frijoles negros, and plátanos maduros ? Now that he’s stuck with platypus breast, wallaby-tail soup and roasted bunya nuts, I’m not surprised he’s losing weight. In fact, it’s probably part of Howard’s secret plan to starve him to death.

      Posted by paco on 2007 05 30 at 08:50 AM • permalink

 

    1. All we need is a Women’s Weekly Hicks Guantanamo Diet Plan to complete the re-assimilation.

      Posted by anthony_r on 2007 05 30 at 08:50 AM • permalink

 

    1. Ha! American trickery, trickery I say. They made him fat then turned him thin they did.

      Posted by Nic on 2007 05 30 at 08:57 AM • permalink

 

    1. He had to drop the weight to be eligible for the upcoming posturing contest.

      Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 05 30 at 09:10 AM • permalink

 

    1. Holy Sea Cow! Bryla has obviously been living the good life. He really needs to update his I’m Jesus! photo on his website. I do find it odd that he trimmed his hair and beard just as he was nearing the perfect measurements for a shopping mall Santa. Yet another employment opportunity missed.

      Posted by Texas Bob on 2007 05 30 at 09:22 AM • permalink

 

    1. So Bryla the Hut is alive and well in Pine Gap, it seems.

      Posted by Mr. Bingley on 2007 05 30 at 09:34 AM • permalink

 

    1. Maybe the Pine Gap Four should be the Pine Gap 54 extra wide…

      Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 05 30 at 09:39 AM • permalink

 

    1. Or maybe the Pine Gap Fillers?

      Posted by Texas Bob on 2007 05 30 at 09:41 AM • permalink

 

    1. bryla looks like some of the monstrous guys on that sickening tattoo/piercing site from a few posts ago, but with an unsullied hide.  all that virgin skin with no ink on it.  crying shame.  they could tattoo i ate pine gap across his gut

      Posted by KK on 2007 05 30 at 09:52 AM • permalink

 

    1. and what happened to the noble tradition of lardarses wearing huge concealing hawaian shirts? we fatties should have some compassion for the sensibilities of the people around us

      Posted by KK on 2007 05 30 at 09:56 AM • permalink

 

    1. OT, who saw Chaser’s War on Everything?

      Handing out free ALP Preselection cards to ABC people, drug-sniffing dogs and breathalysers sooled on the lawyers at the High Court, and a huge ‘ctrl-Z’ key so pollies could undo their election promises.  It was huge, and funny, and best of all was Julie Bishop pinching the bodgie-cheeks on the dude.

      It was a LOL for my family – six thumbs up!

      Posted by ChrisPer on 2007 05 30 at 09:58 AM • permalink

 

    1. The guy’s a one-man Pine Gap Four

      Never missed a meal due to the injustices of the system that he so clearly loathes…

      Posted by murph on 2007 05 30 at 10:00 AM • permalink

 

    1. the chaser guys should stage a citizens’ inspection at bryla’s house.  be great if they were there looking for threats to world peace when he got home from court/jail depending on the result of the case

      Posted by KK on 2007 05 30 at 10:04 AM • permalink

 

    1. kk—If I wore an aloha shirt Hawaiian could claim an extra Congressional district: “Look! A new island! Praise Pele!”

      Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 05 30 at 10:09 AM • permalink

 

    1. The bailiff should inspect the contents of Bryla’s shorts.  He’s sure to find 150 pounds of crack in there.

      Posted by murph on 2007 05 30 at 10:11 AM • permalink

 

    1. #15 Murph, I reckon Bryla is the kind of guy who can go through airport security without a problem. Let’s face it, even if the metal detector went off, there’s no way that the security team would want to strip search him.

      Posted by Ash_ on 2007 05 30 at 10:26 AM • permalink

 

    1. What’s with the flag?  Are these four the newly self-appointed representatives of planet Earth?

      Posted by murph on 2007 05 30 at 10:39 AM • permalink

 

    1. #4 RebeccaH: Absobloodylutely brilliant! Can’t stop laughing.

      Posted by SandiM on 2007 05 30 at 11:38 AM • permalink

 

    1. Oh dear… murph, you’re in trouble now: you’ve caught the attention of the “Troll Monitor”! The seething Indymidiot hordes will be after you now.

      =^0

      Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 05 30 at 11:52 AM • permalink

 

    1. This new image of David Hicks — created by a world renowned face recognition expert…

      They got all upset because a cartoonist drew a picture of a thin and gaunt David Hicks?!?

      They do know the difference between real life and artist conceptions…don’t they?

      Posted by tim maguire on 2007 05 30 at 01:05 PM • permalink

 

    1. Mr. Maguire,

      In answer to your inquiry of #20…

      No.  No they do not.

      Posted by Major John on 2007 05 30 at 01:31 PM • permalink

 

    1. Sometimes, of course, these face recognition coves are right on the money. For example, there’s this rendition of Al Gore during one of his fund-raising trips during the second Clinton campaign.

      Posted by paco on 2007 05 30 at 02:08 PM • permalink

 

    1. That’s the Pine Gap Four?  Oh.  My.  God.

      Okay, there’s obviously an image problem there.  Brian Law looks like Comic Book Guy.  The other guy looks like a complete doofus.  (If I was standing beside him, I’d probably give him a wedgie and a Dutch rub). One woman looks like you’d enjoy some quality time with Rosie O’Donnell, and the other looks like she frequents supermarkets to dine on free “try this” food.  All look like losers.

      Aren’t there any good looking people who would go to court to protest the war?

      Posted by wronwright on 2007 05 30 at 02:32 PM • permalink

 

    1. Actually, I meant “she would enjoy some quality time with Rosie O’Donnell”.  I didn’t mean You the Reader would enjoy quality time with Rosie.  Please don’t hurt me.

      Posted by wronwright on 2007 05 30 at 02:34 PM • permalink

 

    1. 24: Actually, I meant “she would enjoy some quality time with Rosie O’Donnell”.  I didn’t mean You the Reader would enjoy quality time with Rosie.  Please don’t hurt me.

      Ok, boys. Holster your roscoes. It was an honest mistake.

      Posted by paco on 2007 05 30 at 02:45 PM • permalink

 

    1. Whoo, boy! You mean some Ozzies actually take this bunch seriously?  I’ve seen smarter faces looking up at me from the fish pond.

      Posted by JorgXMcKie on 2007 05 30 at 02:58 PM • permalink

 

    1. And am I forgetting, or was it bryla who was fishing online for a new sweetie?  Did he post one of these pics?  If so, was he contacted by a Japanese fisherman?

      Posted by JorgXMcKie on 2007 05 30 at 02:59 PM • permalink

 

    1. #14, richard mcenroe,

      I thought it was the boat you couldn’t get out the door.

      Posted by saltydog on 2007 05 30 at 03:08 PM • permalink

 

    1. I see they took the “How to Look Like a Hero” course in photography, but ditched the photoshop class.

      Posted by saltydog on 2007 05 30 at 03:12 PM • permalink

 

    1. (Holstering, then puts dagger back in sheath).  You’re no fun, paco.

      Elizabeth
      Imperial Keeper

      Posted by Elizabeth Imperial Keeper on 2007 05 30 at 03:48 PM • permalink

 

    1. I’m thinking that bryla believes he’s lost weight because he cut off fifty pounds of hair.

      Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 05 30 at 04:16 PM • permalink

 

    1. #27 No, that was Jeremy.

      Posted by kae on 2007 05 30 at 05:53 PM • permalink

 

    1. Jeremy looking for love.

      Posted by kae on 2007 05 30 at 05:56 PM • permalink

 

    1. I am ashamed that Ray Martin is an Australian.

      Posted by rob w on 2007 05 30 at 06:20 PM • permalink

 

    1. Talk about your porky pie!  I’ve noticed that Australian activists and many others of the Left-inclined so often in photos seem to have the sun shining behind their heads, like a halo.  I guess it really is a form of religion.

      And #11, we watched The Chaser last night and thought it was very funny, particularly the ALP preselection cards handed out to ABC denizens. One part had us in stitches – when they were told how they were only allowed to select from the red-coloured, Liberal Party electorates because the blue, safe Labor Party seats, were reserved for union officials.

      Most of the ABC presenters played along with it, but Kerry O’Brien was not amused.  I understand that after the cameras were off, he was furious about the whole thing and hit the roof.  Another who can dish it out but not take it.

      Posted by ann j on 2007 05 30 at 07:38 PM • permalink

 

    1. #35 – why was Kerry not amused?  Because he realised that when he decides to run, he won’t be parachuted into a safe seat?

      Oh, for shame, for shame!

      Posted by mr creosote on 2007 05 30 at 08:22 PM • permalink

 

    1. I reckon if Bry had a ponytail and some cartoons he could pass muster as Sergeant at Arms for the Coffin Cheaters (or in his case, the Salad Dodgers)- only thing is the role would require riding a product of the US military/industrial complex, and having to punch on with woodchucks from the Black Uhlans.

      Nice how they ignored the faux civility and deference to power represented by donning suit and tie, or bathing, prior to fronting the bench, adhered to be even the most vile human chancre when trying to avoid the pokey- the beak no doubt will be impressed by their free-spritied resistance to Judeo-Christian civility and cowardly capitulation to The Man represented by tidiness and personal hygiene.

      Posted by Habib on 2007 05 30 at 08:58 PM • permalink

 

    1. BTW- the USAF had better do a quick count of these, I think Bryan might have gotten a bit peckish while on site, and scoffed one.

      Posted by Habib on 2007 05 30 at 09:00 PM • permalink

 

    1. Something for Red Kerry to ponder next time people burst into his office:

      “NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise…surprise and fear…fear and surprise…. Our two weapons are fear and surprise…and ruthless efficiency…. Our *three* weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency…and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope…. Our *four*…no… *Amongst* our weapons…. Amongst our weaponry…are such elements as fear, surprise…. I’ll come in again”.

      Posted by mr creosote on 2007 05 30 at 10:05 PM • permalink

 

    1. Ok, boys. Holster your roscoes. It was an honest mistake.

      Do what he say!  Do what he saaaaaay…!

      Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 05 31 at 01:10 AM • permalink

 

    1. Perhaps bryla was merely attempting camouflage. He put on 150 pounds prior to infiltrating Pine Gap in an attempt to blend in amongst the lardassed Americans working there.  Decent plan.  Then again, maybe it was a defensive move.  Knowing he’d be thrown in prison, he figured the extra blubber might prevent him becoming the bronc at the next prison rodeo.

      Posted by Texas Bob on 2007 05 31 at 03:59 AM • permalink

 

    1. Soooo happy to see something about Bryni today.

      What’s he to do with his day off?

      After blogging Blair and finalising coming court strategies with the Age and SBS journos he heads on down to the banks of the Alice.

      Does he sunbake nude or don modestly a little ‘g’ and lay on the banks of the Alice in grass tall enough to hide him from unsuspecting native fauna. It’s a few hours since he had the 500gm eye fillet sandwich and his guts turn.

      He knows what he wants. It has to be indigenous. Waiting…the wind turns, Bryni flies high and lands on the creature….a large cassowary.

      Burp….beautiful.

      He feels sleep coming on. And turns his arse towards the court house. A large feathered fart rips in the direction of the Prosecutor’s hotel. He rearranges the ‘g’.

      Drifting off he sees images. The Vatican, Jerusalem, a large white car come into view. Then he sleeps like a lazy snake.

      Posted by Macosghair on 2007 05 31 at 05:28 AM • permalink

 

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